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 I thought I knew the Gospel before I met my husband. And yes, in many ways, I did. Yet, the love of Christ, I realize now, was distant and even dull relative to what I have come to know through our messy, beautiful life together. This friends, is what the God of the Gospel intends—to declare Himself through marriage. Here are 5 key Gospel declarations found through marriage: The Gospel Is Intimate: We are not meant to hold our spouses at arm’s length. We are meant to come close, to know one another in our great brokenness. We are meant to love amid our mess. And so, the Gospel reveals itself in our, and our spouse’s, yuckiness. God’s love through Christ is the golden thread which binds us together in marriage. When we know the Gospel intellectually, and even in our heart, we still need its gritty reality—which marriage provides. It is then, when we find ourselves as close to someone as we will ever get, we recognize our need for the Gospel. And we bring it closer to our hearts than we have ever known. The Gospel Is Solid: Marriage doesn’t only show us how close the Gospel is to our brokenness; it stands up amid it. Here, right in the middle of shame and guilt and anxiety and doubt and fear, the Gospel holds its own and says we are God’s own. So many times, I have spoken too quickly, been selfish, and otherwise hurt my husband. But, every time when I have admitted my sin, apologized, asked for forgiveness, because the Gospel is solid, I have received the treasured beauty of my husband’s, and thus, God’s, redeeming love. The Gospel Is Strong: Here, I am not talking about the kind of strength which is steely and determined or like a superhero in a movie. No. Marriage shows the Gospel strong because it’s Author is strong. And He’s not the kind of strong which runs over things to get ahead. He’s not one who fights for His way. He doesn’t demand to exercise power. Instead, He makes Himself low. He doesn’t consider equality with God a thing to be grasped, even though He is God. And, yes, here, we are to know the same strength. We are called to consider our spouses more highly than ourselves. To truly love in our marriages, we need a strong Gospel and blessedly, we have it and the chance to show it off to the world as the true strength it is. The Gospel Is Enduring: ‘These three remain, faith, hope and love, BUT the greatest of these is love.’ When all is said and done, and we are dancing with our Bridegroom on the streets of gold, only love will exist. Only. Love. And the King of Love will own us forevermore. One of the deepest ways to walk the road into His arms is marriage. As we love our spouse, we find there is only more love. The well of our hearts gets deeper and deeper. We find through each act of giving and receiving grace, and through simply walking life together, that the Gospel endures. We lift high the Son of Man in our marriage, and we come to find, He remains, wrapping our spouse and us in His ever-faithful arms of love. The Gospel Is Full: ‘I have come that you might have life and have it abundantly.’ Jesus entered time and space to give us a full, abundant life—nothing less. The heart of marriage declares this fullness as true. It is a gleaming testament to a broken world that Jesus is real. As we live out our marriages knowing the Gospel intimately, solidly, strongly and enduringly, we will have full lives! I am praying for you, and your marriage, right now. I am praying you experience the Gospel in these ways, as I humbly say, I have. God intends nothing less for you and your spouse. And, no matter where you are at, He is ready to enter the sacred space of your covenant, your shared humanity, your great brokenness and bring the wonders of His saving love! And, if this is your marriage testimony, I am praying you will shine your light brightly to a hurting, broken, hungry-for-the-Gospel world. About Abby Abby is a small-town loving, big city adventurer. She and her husband have worked with high school students most of their lives! Since their internship in Budapest, Hungary in 2005-2006, they have been working with the ministry of CRU. In May of this year, they moved to Hungary answering God's call to work long-term with the students of Central and Eastern Europe. Abby loves to laugh, especially at herself, has a passion for God and making Him known and is ever learning how to do that with three small children, ages 5, 3 and one month. She wouldn't trade the journey for anything! She blogs regularly at Fan the Flame
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So there's this word. It seems to arouse deep emotion mostly of resentment, bitterness or anger. Honestly I was afraid to use it... haha. Ready for it? Submission. See what I mean? There was a season in our marriage where Austin thought I was spending too much time doing ministry outside the home (we had a handful of rowdy, strong willed kids and the house was chaotic and if you have kids you probably get it- nothing ever seemed to get done or if it did it didn't last). But ministry was my outlet and it was only 8 hours a week. It felt like my lifeline. I love my kids and they are my number one ministry but my introverted soul needed even just a little time away to do something that refreshed and revived me. For me that was teaching God's Word and organizing ministry stuff. I clung to those 8 hours like they were my last breath. I fought him tooth and nail. I was consumed with thoughts of, "How dare he!" "He doesn't care about me." (Which was absolutely not true) "Get em God. He's going to have to give an account to You for not letting me use my strengths and instead make me function out of my weakness all the time." When I look back at that time, I don't look back and see that I trusted God. I don't look back grateful at all the Lord did in my heart through my willingness. I see ugly. I see are hard, resistant heart. Believing lies caused them to grow. Our marriage was rocky to say the least. But God. He helped me get to the point that I was willing to let go of the fear and even those 8 hours. He helped me see submitting really wasn't about Austin, it was about God. My issue was a lack of trusting God. I was afraid Austin would keep me from God's plan for my life. I was afraid Austin would thwart God's plans for me. God opened my eyes and helped me recognize those as lies. He helped me see that it was really all about Him and that I was called to yield by the power of His strength and leave the results up to Him. I did. I loosened my grip of those 8 hours. And God brought beauty from ashes. I'm not exactly sure how He did it, but now looking back I'm different. I'm not afraid to let go. I'm not afraid to submit because God brought good. Somehow He used that season to grow me in wisdom and recognizing how much I need others. It's almost like I was wild horse that submit to the trainer and became ride-able. Submission is for more than just marriage. We are called to submit to many people in our life. A boss, a teacher, the government, pastors etc. I used to have a one up one down mentality which led to me thinking only people who knew more than me or had more experience than me should lead me. But somehow God changed that. After all, God can use a donkey. We can submit to even people who are brand new or not great at this or that or ____________. And God will use it. God will bring good. Because it's not about that person and if they are worthy. It's about doing what pleases the Lord. And submitting to authority pleases Him. It doesn't matter if they have more experience than us or not. It doesn't matter if they have more answers than us or not. It doesn't matter about them, submission from our heart is a way to be a fragrant aroma to the Lord. I saw this movie one time (I so wish I could remember what it was) where the General made a poor decision but his right hand man submit to his authority anyway. It struck me. It was beautiful. God doesn't call us to submit to our authorities when we feel like it or if we agree or if they are "better" than us. It's not about us and its not about them. It's all about trusting God and His ability to lead, provide and execute His unthwartable plan. It's putting down the finger that wants to point out their faults to justify why we don't want to submit to that person. It's stopping the accusations and humbling ourselves and entrusting ourselves to our Faithful Father. I pray my kids learn to submit quickly to my choices in their life because I believe if they are quick to yield to me, I believe they will be quick to yield to the Lord and not fight Him tooth and nail. I want God to bless them and I want them to learn submission, not because they are less important or valuable, but because I want God's blessing for their life and I know it will only come if they yield to His way and let go of thiers. The same is true with us. God has way more in mind in regards to our submitting to authority. He is doing things in our hearts and molding us to be more receptive to His good, His blessing in our lives. I don't want to leave you wondering about Austin and our marriage. He has made a way for me to have ministry hours-even at the sacrifice of himself. He values those hours now more than ever and we even get to have many hours a week doing ministry side by side being on a leadership team together. That season of letting go was not wasted. It pleased the Lord but it also brought about good not only in me but also in Austin and strengthened our marriage. * I'm assuming the person in authority is not telling you to do something against Scripture. About Laura Laura, the creator and host of Missional Women is married and has six kids, two of whom are adopted. Laura and her husband have been missionaries since 2002 serving with Master Plan Ministries. Laura is the Staff Women's Development Coordinator and has discipled over 150 women, led over 30 Bible studies and speaks many times a year. Laura is an author and creator of ministry tools and resources. You can find her books and resources at the Missional Women store and connect with her on facebook,twitter, pinterest, youtube, instagram and her author site.
Want to read more from this contributor? Put her name in the search box at the top. Sharing this article over at these awesome blogs  Keeping your love story alive is something that takes intentional effort from both people in a marriage. You can't do it alone. Well, at least not for very long. So how can you bring a waning relationship back to life? My parents were married for 60 years. Rev and I have recently celebrated our 45th anniversary. We raised three children, ran a business together, served together in ministry, and survived plenty of circumstances that tried to tear us down and pull us apart. So, I thought I'd share the 10 things we've learned that will bless your relationship and inspire the spark that may be starting to feel more like a fading ember. 10 Ways to Celebrate Romance & Make it Last 1. Make a list of things you love about your spouse and share it with him/her - I promise it will bless you both. I love you because _____________. Marriage is no big deal; it's a bunch of little deals. {Tweet this} 2. Make an effort to look your best - Somehow after you've seen each other with bedhead and morning breath, it can become easy to stop trying as hard. This is for both guys and gals. I'm not suggesting you obsess about your weight and appearance, but it's important to continue to try to look nice for each other. "You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream." ~ C.S.Lewis 3. Make time for fun and laugh more - Responsibilities like paying the bills, raising children, and working through problems, can suck the playfulness right out of life. Be intentional about laughter and doing the things you enjoy as often as possible. "People rarely succeed unless they have fun in what they are doing." ~ Dale Carnegie 4. Reminisce - watch family videos, go through photo albums, share memories - Remembering and talking about the blessing of love you've shared is often exactly what a relationship needs to get back on track. "Memories are the key not to the past, but to the future." ~ Corrie Ten Boom 5. Compliment each other - privately and publicly - Don't keep the things you love about them a secret. You will strengthen their relationships to the other people in your lives. You'll imprint those things on your heart and mind. And who isn't blessed by a good compliment? And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. Philippians 4:8 6. Give 100% of your attention for at least 30–60 minutes each day - Put the kids to bed. Put your phone and tablet down. Turn off the television. Then ask each other about the best and worst parts of the day. Talk. Listen. Encourage. Don't try to fix the other person's problem. Just listen and love. It will connect you. 7. Learn how to disagree without being disagreeable - It is impossible for two people to agree on everything all the time; however, it is possible to disagree, negotiate, compromise, and solve. Avoid words like "always and never." Avoid sarcasm. Keep a normal tone of voice. Avoid adding every other problem to the current situation. Strive for a solution that satisfies both of you, or agree to disagree and take some time to think and pray about it. 8. Avoid your spouse's hot buttons - Admit it. You know exactly what to say to start an argument. But do you really feel better after you've screamed about each other's faults and deficiencies? "You don't have to attend every argument you're invited to." - Unknown {Tweet this} 9. Never stop flirting - Remember when everything he said was funny? When you couldn't wait to tell her how beautiful she looked? When dinner was so terrible you had to throw it out and go out for burgers, and it became your private joke? Flirting says you care and find each other attractive, and it makes every day a little more fun. 10. Celebrate the little things - Find little reasons to celebrate every day. Every anniversary you can remember. Every event and milestone. Celebrations help you remember all the ways God has blessed you as a couple. "Life is made up, not of great sacrifices or duties, but of little things, in which smiles and kindness, and small obligations given habitually, are what preserve the heart and secure comfort." ~ Humphry Davy 45 years later I can tell you it's worth it! Every effort. Every compromise. Every big or small celebration. It's all part of something that has the potential of being the very best blessing in your life. Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. 10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. Ecclesiastes 4:9–12 About Deb Deb is a passionate blessing counter who loves to study the ways faith and life intersect. This year at Counting My Blessings, she's sharing The Relationship Project - How One Relationship Affects All Others. Deb lives in Missouri with her husband and furry child, Sadie now that all of their human children are grown and have little ones of their own. And yes, being a grandparent is the best She's hoping you will join her on Pinterest, Facebook and Twitter.
 We all want formula's for marriage. A simple twelve-step plan to make marriage easy, compatible, joyous, and missonal. But let's face it, marriage is hard. I remember it well, nearly two decades ago. I sat across from my husband, two small children asleep upstairs. “I can't do this”, I cried. But today, I still can't remember why the fight broke out. I believed in true love, but let's face it, the trenches of real-life marriage can be far from easy. “I don't know why, but I feel like we are supposed to be together.” My husband whispers. “Like God has something good planned for us.” I grumbled and scowled. I huffed and puffed. But deep down, I knew He was right. I didn't tell him at the time, but when he said “we are supposed to be together”, I heard what sounded like a lion roar inside, telling me also, God had a reason for us being together. In retrospect, two decades later, I can see the fruit of “sticking it out” in that moment. And while there are no formula's for a perfect marriage, we've learned some basic principles making missional marriages, just a little bit easier.
Our testimony isn't one of perfection, but perseverance, not fairy tale dreams, but a life lived missionally, clinging to Him, watching God take ashes and turn it into beauty. And maybe today you feel like you keep casting your net and it keeps coming up empty. Ask for His wisdom, hold on, keep stepping forward, forget your feelings, and trust His faithfulness. He never failed us, and He won't fail you. Marriage is something worth fighting for.
About Jen Though born, raised, and still living only miles from where she grew up, Jen's heart lies in the nations. Jen loves the beautiful tapestry found in the wide diversity of people, different cultures, and all nations. Jen and her husband have been married twenty years, and have parented fifteen kids and counting; twelve foster, one adopted, and two bios. Her multi-racial family reflects her passion for unity, desire for faith without walls, and missional mindset to share both the gospel and the power of redemption to a world desperately needing the hope found in Jesus Christ. Jen and her husband have led in a variety of ministries; including prayer, small groups, children's, and women’s. Jen advocates for the orphan as a board member for the non-profit, A New Song; and loves doing missions work internationally, along with her family. You can find Jen writing about faith, while challenging her readers at her blog, Rich Faith Rising, as well as at tweeting faith-filled messages @Jen_Avellaneda . Jen is also on facebook. If you'd like to read more from this contributor, type her name in the search box on the top right.
Sharing this over at these awesome blogs.  “Take me with you -- let us hurry. Oh, that the king would bring me to his chambers. We will rejoice and be glad for you; we will praise your love more than wine. It is only right that they adore you.” “Young women of Jerusalem, I charge you by the gazelles and the wild does of the field: do not stir up or awaken love until the appropriate time.” Song of Songs 1:4; 2:7 I hope that this series has been encouraging for you as it has been for me! There have been times putting this together where I wept before the Lord over the beauty He showed me. Other times I couldn’t help but squeal out of excitement for what to expect or being able to see things differently! I hope this encouraged you see your relationships with others, even romantic relationships differently. Here are 6 points of applications to think over in your personal relationships and with Jesus: 1. A romance with God is not only beautiful, it is satisfying and fulfilling. No other relationship can even come close to the one you have or can have with Jesus. So where are you with in your relationship with Jesus? Who do you need to share the gospel with so they can know God’s love like you do? 2. Rejoice in romance because God made it and it points to the Gospel. Let go of your bitterness towards romance. Ask God to change your heart and mind, to have His view of romance. Being cynical towards romance means you’re spitting on a creation of God! Rejoice with your friends that discover love for the first time. If you are married, dating, engaged – be okay with romantic gestures! Enjoy the Lord with having the right attitudes and emotions about romance guided by Him! 3. Take romance seriously because it does hold a beautiful picture of the Gospel. Don’t let you’re emotions and flesh get the better of you!! Allow God to guide and lead you so that you won’t let your sin dictate romance. When we let our flesh dictate romance we cross boundaries we shouldn’t, we look for satisfaction in a significant other, we have our eyes and not Jesus’ eyes for what is truly best for us. Enjoy romance, but take it seriously! 4. Be patient for romance to come in God’s timing, because His timing is best. The term “Fools rush in” is so true!! That’s not how God’s love necessarily works. Remember 1 Corinthians 13, I’m going to pick out points from the chapter, but I encourage you to read it again and again to remind yourself of how love should look and how you should conduct yourself in relationships:
5. Keeping Christ on the throne is the only way God-glorifying romance works. Make it your practice to keep Him on the throne regardless of what stage you’re in – dating, marriage, engagement, singleness. We are all in desperate need for God to work in and through us, so be filled with the Holy Spirit (Ephesians 5:18)! 6. The Gospel is about grace and redemption. No matter your past or present relationships, you can still look forward to a beautiful future romance that points to the Lord. You are a new creation, which means a new beginning is possible. You can still have God honoring and glorifying relationships based around the gospel regardless of where you have come from! What stuck out to you about romance through this series of the Gospel in Romance? What has stuck out to you about Jesus through this series? Was there a point that was harder to understand or accept? What has this prompted you to do next? Was there an application point that stood as your next step? Dear Precious Lord Jesus, I thank you again for everything that You showed me through this study of how each romantic stage points to You and the gospel!! I pray that I will continue to see relationships from this view point. That I will take them seriously and with joy! Help me to see the people around me how You see them, and give the boldness needed to take the next step with others that need to hear the gospel. Thank you again!! In Your Name I pray…   Leah works with Master Plan Ministries at Fort Lewis College in Durango, CO. Other than watching college students' lives change, she enjoys getting her mind blown by God and His Word, watching sci fi, baking cupcakes, and spending time with her hunky husband.
If you'd like to read more from this contributor, type her name in the search box on the top right. Sharing this over at these awesome blogs.  “What makes the one you love better than another, most beautiful of women? What makes him better than another, that you would give us this charge?” “My love is fit and strong, notable among ten thousand… His mouth is sweetness. He is absolutely desirable. This is my love, and this is my friend, Young women… I belong to my love, And his desire is for me.” Song of Songs 5:9-10, 16; 7:10 No matter how many books or blog posts I read, no matter how many conversations I had, no matter how many podcasts I listened to – there is no way to fully understand marriage until you’re in it! You are two sinful people pursuing a selfless relationship, and it is dang hard!! Malcolm and I’s first couple years were very difficult, and each year there is a new difficulty that we have to face. I have done a lot of things the wrong way before I figured out how to do it right. Think about it: I spent the first 23 years of my life being single, and then in, the matter of a signed legal document and an afternoon of dressing fancy before friends and family, I am no longer single! You literally go from single to married in an instant – how on earth are we suppose to get the whole husband/wife thing correctly right off the bat?! Everything is new in marriage: new name, new living situation, new intimacy. You go from not being able to see each other 24/7, to practically seeing them 24/7. You go from not having to sex to… well, you get the picture. Everything is new! Marriage reflects our new status, intimacy and living situation with Jesus in heaven. Let’s read Revelation 21:1-7, “Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth, for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea no longer existed. I also saw the Holy City, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared like a bride adorned for her husband. Then I heard a loud voice from the throne: Look! God's dwelling is with humanity, and He will live with them. They will be His people, and God Himself will be with them and be their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes. Death will no longer exist; grief, crying, and pain will exist no longer, because the previous things have passed away. Then the One seated on the throne said, ‘Look! I am making everything new.’ He also said, ‘Write, because these words are faithful and true. And He said to me, ‘It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End. I will give water as a gift to the thirsty from the spring of life. The victor will inherit these things, and I will be his God, and he will be My son.’” Everything will be new. We’re already made new in Christ, but we’ll have new bodies. Earth will be new. Heaven will be new. Literally we’ll have an entirely new environment to learn, discover and explore, all while learning, discovering and exploring Jesus in a whole new way. But what is awesome with all this new stuff, there won’t be sin or pain to deal with, so it will all be enjoyable! Had you thought of marriage being like eternity with Jesus before? What differences and similarities are there between an earthly marriage and our marriage with Jesus? What things are you looking forward to in your new life with Jesus in the new heaven and new earth? Write out all the things to look forward to and spend time thanking God for His promises to look forward to! Dear Lord Jesus, Thank You making everything new!! Even though we are groaning now for You bring total justice and bring in a whole new life with You, I pray that we will use our time wisely here. I pray that You will make us bold and courageous to share the gospel so that everyone can at least have the chance to know You personally. In Your Majestic Name I pray…
About Leah Leah works with Master Plan Ministries at Fort Lewis College in Durango, CO. Other than watching college students' lives change, she enjoys getting her mind blown by God and His Word, watching sci fi, baking cupcakes, and spending time with her hunky husband. If you'd like to read more from this contributor, type her name in the search box on the top right.
Sharing this over at these awesome blogs.  “Hurry to me, my love, and be like a gazelle or a young stag on the mountains of spices.” Song of Solomon 8:14 Engagement is a sweet time, but it also kind of sucks. You love this person and are officially going to be living this lifetime together. You want to plan and dream your future together, but you can’t spend all your time together. You also can’t be intimate in all the ways you would like to be either. It’s a LOT of waiting for a LOT of wonderful things! I remember when my friends Rachael and Dakota were engaged. For more than half of their engagement they were apart because Dakota was support raising and Rachael was in Durango. Most of their communication had to be over the phone or crunched into weekends together. I really admire how they walked through their engagement with pure actions and time well-spent together. But it was also hard! I remember talking to Rachael about how difficult it was to keep things up with Dakota so far away. Trying to plan a wedding on Maui while she lived in Colorado, with a fiancé who lives far away is not only hard logistically but emotionally. I remember telling her how this is such a short time, and soon enough they would be together 24/7! Now they have been married for a year and a half, that 7 month engagement time was short compared to the time they have been together – especially the time they will have spent together considering they promised til death do you part! The time of engagement reflects the time on earth while we wait to see Jesus face-to-face. It’s our time of sanctification, preparing ourselves for the Marriage Feast of the Lamb. Engagement is mainly a time of preparing for not only your wedding day, but your marriage that begins that moment. Learning what it means to be a wife and husband, talking through expectations, etc. Back in Jesus’ day, when a couple became betrothed, the bride would prepare herself for the wedding day and for the marriage by getting her gown ready and getting future household things together. The groom would focus on building a home for the two of them onto his father’s house. Everyone in town would know the day that the wedding was going to happen, but no one knew the hour that he would go get his bride. So the bride would need to be ready for him at any moment! He would come through the streets with trumpets blaring and people would join in this procession to go to the bride’s house. This is all reflecting how Jesus will come back for us, His church! 1 John 3:2-3 says, “Dear friends, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet been revealed. We know that when He appears, we will be like Him, because we will see Him as He is. And everyone who has this hope in Him purifies himself just as He is pure.” Jesus said in John 14:1-3, “ ‘Your heart must not be troubled. Believe in God; believe also in Me. In My Father’s house are many dwelling places; if not, I would have told you. I am going away to prepare a place for you. If I go away and prepare a place for you, I will come back and receive you to Myself, so that where I am you may be also.’ “ Jesus also told His disciples in Matthew 24:30-31, 36, “ ‘Then the sign of the Son of Man will appear in the sky. And then all the peoples of the earth will mourn; and they will see the Son of Man coming on the clouds of heaven with power and great glory. He will send out His angels with a loud trumpet, and they will gather His elect from the four winds, from one end of the sky to the other… Now concerning the day and the hour no one knows – neither the angels in heaven, nor the Son – except the Father only.’ “ Isn’t that cool?! Jesus left, sent us His promised Holy Spirit as His promise of marriage, and is preparing a place for us to come home to. When we receive Jesus into our lives, we become pure more and more over time. Then, when He comes back – at a time we don’t know exactly – He will enter with trumpets and a procession from above. And we will be here, waiting for Him, preparing for our eternal home with Jesus! It seems like it’s taking forever, but the cool thing is, in light of eternity, this is just a blip on our timeline with Jesus forever. How are you using your engagement period with the Lord? Are you preparing yourself in purity? Are you storing treasure in heaven? Are you making heavenly investments? Or do you need to get cracking, cause Jesus is a comin’?! Oh Lord Jesus, Please come soon!! I love that you are with me always, but I do desire greater intimacy with you. I look forward to heaven, so help me to use my time wisely here on earth. Help me invest in people by sharing the gospel and discipling other believers. Help refine my character, my actions and my heart. When you come back, let me look radiant for you! In Your Awesome Name I pray…
About Leah Leah works with Master Plan Ministries at Fort Lewis College in Durango, CO. Other than watching college students' lives change, she enjoys getting her mind blown by God and His Word, watching sci fi, baking cupcakes, and spending time with her hunky husband. If you'd like to read more from this contributor, type her name in the search box on the top right.
Sharing this over at these awesome blogs.  “My love calls to me: Arise, my darling. Come away, my beautiful one.” Song of Solomon 2:10 The day was February 13th, Malcolm wanted to take me out for Valentine’s Day but we were busy on the 14th. So on Sunday the 13th, Malcolm took me to breakfast before church. We had time before church started, so we went to a playground to pass some time. While we were swinging, Malcolm asked me, “So, are you one of those girls who say they don’t want anything for Valentine’s Day, but secretly they do?” “No…. I mean what I say,” I replied. I started to get suspicious… Then the day was filled with church and ziplining – it was a LONG day! The night before we had gone to the hot springs in Pagosa and didn’t get back until 1am. So by the time we got back from all the activity and dropped off a younger student on campus. Malcolm asked, “So… whatcha wanna do now?” “I just want to hangout and watch a movie or something I’m SO tired!” Then I got no reply. Usually he would say something, like a different suggestion or an agreement, but not nothing. “What did YOU want to do?” I asked. “I don’t know, maybe go on a walk or sit somewhere outside.” “Well, we’re super close to the Lion’s Den, let’s just go there.” {FYI, the Lion’s Den is known as a romantic spot to sit, but I honestly suggested there because it was literally right next to campus!} So we hike up the little muddy hill to the Lion’s Den, Malcolm sits next to me and says how pretty I am and all these other sweet things. Then he says, “So I actually did get you a Valentine’s day present.” In my mind I was like Oh yeah! I know what this is! He’s going to propose!! He reaches into his pocket and pulls out… a heart necklace… a cheesy pink heart necklace. I literally thought he got it out of one of those quarter machines at Walmart (he didn’t, turns out it was expensive)! I tried to hide my horror and thank him… but I can’t hide my feelings! It was all over my face how ugly I thought this thing was. He asked me, “Yeah?! You like it?!” “Oh yeah… its great! Thanks…” He let me stew on it for about 5 minutes, leaving me to think, “Maybe he isn’t proposing after all, and he really is just giving me this cheesy necklace…” But then he stands up and says, “Actually I have another gift for you. Leah, will you marry me?” YES YES YES YES!!! I like our proposal story! Honestly its not because its extremely romantic or creative. But I like our story because it’s the moment that Malcolm asked me to be his wife! Out of all the guys in the world, God brought Malcolm to me. The proposal is reflecting the moment we put out trust in Christ. We come to know all that we need to about Jesus, and we finally are ready to surrender our life over to Him. We open the door, Jesus is standing there with a picnic basket and asks, “May I come in? I’m ready to take away the sin that plagues you and give you a whole new life.” He walks in with an engagement ring in His hand and says, “I can’t wait for you to be my bride!” We don’t need a dramatic testimony for our story to mean something – the fact that Jesus came into our life at all is a big enough deal! We got the most important part – we got Jesus! Romans 6:23 says, “For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Just like Malcolm told me how he had another gift, Jesus is offering us the best gift we can ever receive. We get eternal life instead of the punishment of our sins. Ephesians 1:13-14 says, ”When you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation, and when you believed in Him, you were also sealed with the promised Holy Spirit. He is the down payment of our inheritance, for the redemption of the possession, to the praise of His glory.” The Holy Spirit is like our engagement ring. Just like my engagement ring showed people that I promised to be married to Malcolm, the Holy Spirit lives inside each believer showing that we belong to Jesus. The moment I put my trust in Christ is so typical (kind of like my engagement story). It wasn’t a dramatic turning from sin in a rough lifestyle or anything. But it is one of the sweetest, most memorable moments of my life!! I was at camp where the whole gospel was really laid out for me. I remember thinking, “Jesus died for ME?? For MY sin?? Heck yes I want Him in my life!!” I my repentance was real and emphatic – saying “YES YES YES YES!” to Jesus was even more exciting and needy than when I said those words to Malcolm. It didn’t need to be dramatic – it just needed to happen and become real! What was it like to put your trust in Christ? Spend time to thank God for that moment – no matter how big or how small it seems in your mind! Have you had the chance to bring with someone who doesn’t have this personal relationship with Jesus to a point of decision? Pray for them right now and ask for the right time and words to share the gospel again and bring them to a point of choosing or rejecting Jesus. Dear Lord Jesus, Thank you for not giving up knocking at the door of my life! Thank you for Papa Chuck who was bold enough to share the whole gospel with me! Thank you for changing my life, for giving me Your Holy Spirit so I am not left alone or guess whether we truly have a relationship or not. Jesus, I pray for my friends and family who don’t know you, and I ask that you’ll bring to mind at least one person that I can share with and bring to a point of decision. It’s in Your Powerful Name I pray…
About Leah Leah works with Master Plan Ministries at Fort Lewis College in Durango, CO. Other than watching college students' lives change, she enjoys getting her mind blown by God and His Word, watching sci fi, baking cupcakes, and spending time with her hunky husband. If you'd like to read more from this contributor, type her name in the search box on the top right.
Sharing this over at these awesome blogs.  I didn’t plan my wedding, didn’t pick out our square cake, or choose my hand-me-down dress borrowed from some divorced bride we were acquainted with. I simply said, “I do”, nauseated in my stomach. All I could think about was the secret tucked under my size five dress. After our wedding day (the one where it poured down rain), we tried playing, “happily ever after”. We had a beautiful son six-months later, yet were still children ourselves; looking for perfection in the other, wholeness from our relationship, the happiness promised to us from the Big Screen and TV. And although God did do a miracle; redeeming, healing, and restoring our relationship through a God we hadn’t previously been serving; we still needed a marriage make-over that didn’t come until starting ministry, one full decade later. All attempts at happiness, self-satisfaction, fixing the other person, or passively sitting back waiting for things to change, never healed our marriage. What we learned along the way was, the foundation of any solid marriage isn’t about us anyway. Concrete relationships are centered on Jesus, living the gospel intentionally, and actively pursuing a missional life together with laser fixed focus on one common purpose. In our experience, marriages don’t fail because we are missing some “tools in our toolbox”, but more commonly because one or both people in the relationship are selfish. True health and healing comes from letting God be the foundation of our souls, focusing on our own relationship with Him while collectively gathering as one, completely the mission he has for us, as a team…together. I wish I would have known prior; spouses are not enemies, the wars we face are never against each other, the betterment of our lives isn’t found in some “12 simple steps to a happier marriage”. Real hope and fulfillment comes through weakness, giving up our wills and surrendering our future and whole person to Jesus. Francis and Lisa Chan have an excellent new resource we have been studying in our small group lately. Their book, “You and Me Forever” offers incredible insight into marriage, our relationship with God, and ministry. Their book uses Christ as our example; one who came to die to His rights, giving up His will, and laying down His life to serve for the sake of His mission here on earth. But I wonder, do we get it backwards; fighting for our rights, asserting our wills, claiming the right to our life while forsaking our mission here on earth…all because we don’t want to serve one another? It took my husband and me ten years to stop waiting to be perfect before really serving the world around us. Nearly twenty-three years later, we have taught extensively, are ministering in foster care and adoption, and lead small groups with young people we can so relate to. And we have witnessed, true miracles happen when we take our eyes off ourselves and place them on our mission, led by the God who heals our broken souls. Are you struggling in your marriage? Do you fail to see how God can redeem what’s been bruised, taken advantage of, or broken? Will you join me in turning to The One who offers us His covenant, unconditional love, sealing us for eternity? Will you offer all your relationships to The One who found us when we were wretched, taking our rags and clothing us in His righteousness? Friends, let’s fix your eyes on Him, living missional-minded and focused, trusting Him with our spouses, forgiving like He has forgiven us. He is our model for sacrificial love, laying down His life while we were yet flawed. Will we trust the hope and healing that comes from looking to the only one that can truly give us… A mission focused, marriage make-over?  About Jen Though born, raised, and still living only miles from where she grew up, Jen's heart lies in the nations. Jen loves the beautiful tapestry found in the wide diversity of people, different cultures, and all nations. Jen and her husband have been married twenty years, and have parented fifteen kids and counting; twelve foster, one adopted, and two bios. Her multi-racial family reflects her passion for unity, desire for faith without walls, and missional mindset to share both the gospel and the power of redemption to a world desperately needing the hope found in Jesus Christ. Jen and her husband have led in a variety of ministries; including prayer, small groups, children's, and women’s. Jen advocates for the orphan as a board member for the non-profit, A New Song; and loves doing missions work internationally, along with her family. You can find Jen writing about faith, while challenging her readers at her blog, Rich Faith Rising, as well as at tweeting faith-filled messages @Jen_Avellaneda . Jen is also on facebook.
If you'd like to read more from this contributor, type her name in the search box on the top right. Sharing this over at these awesome blogs  Before I got married I thought I would be this incredible wife. I envisioned myself as someone who's only desire would be to please my husband; to cook for him and support him and affirm him... always. I read all the marriage books and had it totally figured out. Then I got married. And turns out I'm still me. Not only do I not measure up to my own standards, I so often fail to measure up to my husbands. Have you ever been there? Wishing you were different and thinking others close to you wish the same? When faced with my own inadequacy I can either point the finger at my husband and demand he loves me for who I am. Or I can wallow in self-pity for how I don't measure up. Or I can pull up my boot straps and just try harder. All of these are self-sufficient options that will always leave me wanting and stuck in a downward spiral that leads to destruction. So what in the world do I do? Here are 7 ideas. 1. Desperately depend on Jesus to live His life through you. There is no possible way we can be who we want to be, who others want us to be or who God wants us to by our own will power. It's not until we admit that we can't do it that we see the cross for what it truly is, salvation. Only when we see how desperate we are can we depend on another's help and the only one able to truly help is the Lord. The One living inside every believer IS enough to live a life pleasing to the Lord. And He only lives His life through us when we get our self-sufficiency out of the way. 2. Cling to what is true. Remind yourself what is true about your identity in Christ. We, apart from Christ are inadequate and always will be. But as children of God, He has made us adequate because we are seen through the perfection of Jesus. Amazing! He has made us holy, pure, blameless and a host of other things in Christ. Remind yourself of His sovereignty. God is able and He surely could have changed things by now. But if He hasn't it's not because He doesn't care but because He does. He is not finished using the situation for your good and His glory. He is there with you each step and will never leave you or abandon you. What you are facing today is not beyond His control or care. He is intimately involved and producing in you far more that you dare imagine. Here's a post showing how God provides what we need way before we even realized we needed it. 3. Pray for him. You know him better than anyone and you are his primary prayer warrior. If you're not praying, who will? And I don't know about you but sometimes it can be easy to pray the "you tell em God!" instead of praying the very hardest thing to pray for them. So pray your sweet little heart out. Like David pleaded with God oouring out his hear, tell God how you feel and what you think. But also ask the hard things. 4. Don't entertain lies. Don't let your mind go to unhealthy places of trying to figure out how to get out whatever situation you're in. If you are married, God wants you to stay there (except for in specifically clear cases stated in Scripture) so don't run just because it's hard. Rather, take every thought captive. If others are telling you things contrary to God's Word, then don't talk about it with them. In order to not entertain lies, you need to not listen to them. Give the enemy and inch and he'll be ruler. 5. Consider what to yield. Pray and ask God to lead your thinking of what you can do as a way to serve your husband-even if it hurts and expecting nothing in return. Just because something is hard does not mean it's bad. Lay down your life, following the example of Jesus who gave His life as a ransom. Did you know the word life in Greek here is not a physical life (though He also gave that) but it's His psyche, His mind, will and emotions. He laid down His desires so others could have life. As a friend of mine says it, "Choosing the option that is easier is not necessarily God's best for you. Sometimes, taking the easy route is robbing God of the opportunity to show His power and grace in your life. Sometimes God wants you to take the hard route in order to mold your character. When I consider this issue, I think about the many scriptures that point to "taking up your cross daily" so that we can have fellowship with Him, and "the crucified life", where we are dead to sin but alive in Christ, and the sufferings that the apostles experienced as they chose in order to follow Christ. I think even more importantly is that when we are willing to suffer as a result of our obedience, we ascribe great value to God. We are saying, that "my inconvenience, pain, stress, expense, etc, are worth it Jesus, because You are worth it." "You suffered for me, so I am willing to suffer for you." 6. Let go of the American fairy tale and cling to the truth of what marriage is really all about. A sweet former contributor, Nicole wrote not too long ago a great post entitled The purpose of marriage and happily ever after. We need this reminder over and over and over in our we're entitled to get everything we want culture. One time we had some friends from Iran over to our house for dinner and they shared their story of how they got married. It went a little like this. Their moms met and decided they wanted their children to get married. Three weeks later they met and got married. End of story. Our entitled American mindset of the fairy tale marriage is just not a timeless and universal principle in Scripture. But laying your life down for another, whether they deserve it or not because you made a commitment before God is. 7. Thank God every day for your husband and even thank the Lord for specific attributes and thank Him for where you are right now.  About Laura Laura, the founder of Missional Women is married and has five kids, two of whom are adopted. Laura and her husband have been missionaries to college students for 12 years serving with Master Plan Ministries. Laura is the Women's Development Coordinator and has discipled over 150 girls, led over 30 Bible studies and speaks to college and women's groups. Laura has authored 5 books, including an award winning 12 week Bible Study on First Samuel, Beholding Him, Becoming Missional, Reach; How to Use Your Social Media Influence for the Glory of God, and A Devotional Journey through Judges, a devotional to accompany the free online Bible study at TheBookofJudges.com. You can find her on facebook,twitter, pinterest, youtube, instagram and her author site.
If you'd like to read more from this contributor, type her name in the search box on the top right. Sharing this over at these awesome blogs |
