What Exactly is a Disciple?
A disciple, or a mentee is a learner. It can be compared to a medical apprentice. A student who follows a doctor around to learn how to become a doctor. A disciple is someone who not just acquires knowledge but learns skills on how to be about the mission the Lord has given. Therefore a mentor, or discipler is someone who takes someone under their wing who wants to live for Jesus and helps them walk by faith, communicate their faith and multiply their faith.

How to be a Discipler
In Part Two I gave some practical steps on how to find someone to disciple and how to go about initiating that relationship with them. In this post I will give you some tracks to run on, some things to do with your disciple.

Helpful Tools to Disciple 
Lets start with the big picture, the end goal, with your disciple.
Like I said above, the goal is not to just transfer information but help them walk by faith, communicate their faith and multiply their faith. I love how Walter Henrichsen in his book, Disciples Are Made Not Born, explains it.

"Healthy disciples, like healthy cells, reproduce themselves. Reproduction and multiplication is something that God has ordained as a natural part of the life cycle. God's plan in the Great Commission is for believers to reproduce in a manner that is significantly similar to human reproduction. The world's population is exploding. God's plan, as set forth in the Great Commission is for explosive reproduction of believers by discipling each new believer to reproductive maturity. 

Let’s say for example that a gifted evangelist is able to lead 1,000 people to Christ every day. Each year he will have reached 365,000 people, a phenomenal ministry indeed. Let’s compare him with a disciple who leads not 1,000 people a day to Christ, but only one person a year. At the end of the year, the disciple has one convert; the evangelist, 365,000. But suppose the disciple has not only led this man to Christ, but has also discipled him. He has prayed with him, taught him how to feed himself from the Word of God, gotten him into fellowship with like-minded believers, taken him out on evangelism and showed him how to present the Gospel to other people. At the end of that first year, this new convert is able to lead another man to Christ and follow him up as he himself has been followed up.

At the start of the second year, the disciple has doubled his ministry—the one has become two. During the second year, each man goes out and leads not 1,000 people per day to Christ, but one person per year. At the end of the second year, we have four people. You can see how slow our process is. But note, too, that we do not have only converts, but disciples who are able to reproduce themselves. At this rate of doubling every year, the disciple leading one man per year to Christ, will overtake the evangelist numerically somewhere in the 19th year. From then on, the disciple and his multiplying ministry will be propagating faster than the combined ministry of dozens of gifted evangelists."  

The goal is reproduction. How do you go about achieving that end? Below is a free printable outline of what your time together with your disciple can look like with the end goal in mind. To download click the image below and then save as. (And be sure to subscribe for free to get more great content, access to our library of a ton of other free printables like this and my free ebook Ministry Resources for Women.)

And I want to leave you with one other helpful tool (though there are so many).  Good questions will help surface issues that need to be addressed, but sometimes it's hard to think of them. So here's a list you can choose from. Enjoy!

50 Good Questions to Ask your Disciple
1.  What are you looking forward to?
2.  What is the biggest thing you are asking God to build into your life right now?
3.  What do you see as some of your strengths?  How do you get to use them?
4.  What are some of your needs or areas you would like to see God change or continue to
      develop?
5. What areas in your personal character have you seen God work the most in the past year?
6.  How do you feel about your walk with the Lord right now?
7.  How do you feel about your ability and desire to study the Bible?
8.  How is your prayer life?
9.  What are your times with the Lord like?  What does your time with Him consist of?
10. How do you honestly feel about evangelism?
11. What is your understanding of spiritual multiplication?
12. What encourages you?
13. What motivates you?
14. Is there anything in your personal life I can help you with?  Walk with the Lord? 
      Ministry skills?  Development?
15. How would you describe your relationship with God?
16. What makes you feel the most satisfied?
17.  What causes the most stress in your life?
18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
19. Describe your relationship with your family
20. Where do you see yourself in 5/10 years?
21. What has been the most significant spiritual experience in your life since you became a
      Christian?
22. What has God been teaching you lately?
23. Where are you feeling the greatest spiritual challenge?
24. What are your expectations for discipleship?
25. Do you feel valuable?
26. Do you consider yourself a leader in general?  Why or why not?
27. What do you think success looks like?
28. What make you feel loved and accepted?
29. What do you enjoy doing?
30. Do you put more pressure on yourself or others?
31. Are you the type of person who is willing to step out in faith and do what you know you
      ought to do even when you don’t feel like it?
32. How are you best motivated?
33. How are you emotionally?
34. How has your self talk/thought been?
35.How do you respond to new people?
36. How have you evidenced good boundaries? Bad boundaries?
37. How are you doing with the good/bad split?  How have you shown grace to yourself?

And here's great questions to help in the multiplication process. As you encourage them to start discipling someone else, you can ask them these questions.
About their Disciples:
38. What do you want God to do through you this year?
39. What are you praying for your disciples?  
40. How do your disciples respond to new people?
41.What is your disciple’s next step of faith?  Do they know what their next step of faith is?
42. How can you motivate your disciples?
43. How can you impart vision?
44.  How is your disciple’s heart for the lost?
45. How is your disciple’s involvement in outreach?
46.  Can your disciple explain to you the principle of multiplication?
47. How does your disciple feel about discipling someone else?  What are their fears?
48.  How well is your disciple doing at living out the essentials of the Christian life?
49.  What does your disciple need to become a multiplier?
50.  What does your disciple need from you?

There are a ton more resources in our store that will hopefully be a blessing to you like an entire women's ministry online course that goes way more in depth in evangelism, discipleship and multiplication.  Check it out here.

​Check out the Full Discipleship Series
Part 1- How to Find Someone to Disciple You.
Part 2- Where to Start in Discipling Someone Else
Part 3- What is Discipleship and How Do You Do it?

​Laura's desire is to point to Jesus and lead people to be in awe of God. She is married and has six kids, two of whom are adopted. Her and her husband have been in full time ministry since 2002. She serves with Master Plan Ministries as the Director of Women's Ministries and has extensive experience leading Bible studies, discipling women and speaking to groups and is the Founder of the internationally popular blog MissionalWomen.com that helps women live on mission for the glory of God. She has written seven books/Bible studies, designed 2 popular ministry tools and has made journals for quiet times for many books of the Bible. You can find her on facebook, twitter, pinterest, youtube, and Instagram.

Imagine standing in heaven with the people whose lives your directly and indirectly influenced for Christ. Helping someone grow in their faith has rewards that far exceed this lifetime. The reward of discipling people for Christ was a great hope that kept Paul pushing forward even in the face of adversity. 

And just like Paul often felt un-qualified, so can we. But God reminds us that our adequacy doesn't come from ourselves, it comes from Him (2 Cor. 3:5) and He gives us all we need for every good work. After all, we do have the Holy Spirit, who helped create the world and raise Christ from the dead, living inside of us. And where He calls, He equips. So has He called you? Yes! He even wrote it down for you just so you wouldn't doubt it. How awesome of Him! He didn't call you and assign you to be part of His working in peoples lives because you're so great or because you know it all. He assigned you because you don't know it all and that gives Him opportunity to show how Great He is, Able to use broken vessels. So the lie you might believe of not measuring up, of never being able to disciple someone, well, throw that out the window. Rather than trying to gather confidence in your flesh, know that all your confidence can be in the Lord, the One Able to use you. 

3 Benefits of Discipling Someone
1. Discipling someone allows you to store up treasure in heaven. There are 5 crowns mentioned in Scripture that will be given to believers. One of which is the Crown of Shepherding (1 Pet. 5:4, 1 Thes. 2:9) When we come along side other believers and help them walk by faith, communicate their faith and multiply their faith, we are taking on the role of a shepherd in their life. And the great thing about being given a beautiful crown in heaven is that we will have something to lay at Jesus' feet during the ultimate worship service (Rev. 4). What a joy that will be to be able to give our King a tiny gift of love and thanks.

2. Discipling someone will be challenge you. It is way too easy to remain comfortable, which leads to stagnation. Yet when we invest our lives in other people it causes us to think of them and get outside ourselves. It also helps us cling to the Lord, since He ultimately is the only One who knows what they need.

3. Discipling someone will bless you. Sometimes when I meet with women I have absolutely no idea what to say or do which forces me to turn to the Lord and ask for His direction. Then as the Lord puts ideas and thoughts in my mind of what to share, I am so encouraged that God can actually use flawed me to influence another for His glory. In Philemon 7, Paul prays that we would be active in sharing our faith so we would know God more. The same goes with any type of ministry, as we step out and depend on God we get to see God come through and we are blessed by getting to know (experientially) Him more.

5 Things for Choosing Someone to Disciple
A disciple is a learner. And specifically someone who wants to learn about the Lord and how to live out the calling and mission He has given them.  Therefore, there are certain qualities to look for in someone's character. You can also notice all of these qualities in the disciples  that Jesus chose.

1. Faithful. Your time is valuable. You have plenty of things in your life the Lord has called you to, therefore you need to meet with someone who is actually going to be able to have enough discipline to be faithful to meet with you. It's frustrating and honestly a waste of your time if you set aside time to meet with someone week after week who doesn't show up. After all, he who is faithful with much will be given more, but he who is unfaithful with little, even what he has will be taken from him. (Lk 16:10)

2. Available. When you are looking for someone to pour your life into, you want them to have a heart that is available to the Lord as well as to you. If someone's schedule is so packed will activities and interests of their own and the Lord led them to do something else, they would be unable to say yes. The Lord's desire for your intentional time with another lady is that she would become a multiplying disciple herself. And if she is not available to let the Lord use her in that way it can be compared to your lineage stopping.

3. Initiative taker. When I was growing up, I probably was the most shy kid you knew. I would NEVER actually talk to someone, let alone initiate a conversation with someone because I was terrified. If someone is not able to take initiative to talk to people and start spiritual conversations, they are not going to be able to multiply their faith. It's not that they are a bad person or don't love the Lord, it just may be they have some personal areas to grow in before it would be good for you to help them walk by faith, communicate their faith and mutliply their faith. You can pray the Lord would grow them in taking initiative and till then, you can meet with someone who will take initiative to multiply their faith. 

4. Teachable. The Pharisee's were the most hard-hearted, unteachable people there were in Jesus' day and therefore Jesus spoke to them very differently than He did anyone else. Notice that none of them were included in his discipleship group. Until someone is receptive to truth, it's not a wise use of your time to invest significant time in them.

5. Heart for God. Do they really have a heart for the Lord and want to live for Him? Or do they just want someone to meet with to talk about their problems? Sometimes ladies will want to meet with you for the purpose of having a weekly counseling appointment rather than to grow in their relationship with God. Unless you are a trained counselor, be careful of taking on that role for people. You can turn them back to the Word of God and help them get Christian counseling if that is what is needed.

Did you notice the handy little acronym FAITH. When your looking for someone to mentor, look for a FAITH filled lady.

Then what?
Initiate with her. Ask her to coffee, ask questions; (In part three of this series I have have a printable of good questions you can ask) how she would like to grow, find out what she is passionate about, what makes her tick, what she wants to see God do in her life, her hopes, dreams etc.

Cast vision and be clear with your hopes and expectations of your time together. If you decide after getting together with her (and find out she is full of FAITH) that you want to invest in her, ask her to get together again. When you get together again, affirm what you see in her and share with her that if she would be up for it, you'd like to get together with her regularly and share some affirming reasons of why. Ask if she would like to meet (however often your thinking) for (however long you are thinking) to (what you are thinking) for (amount of time you are thinking- ex. till the summer). Also ask her what she would want from you and encourage her to ask you questions during your time together. 

Part three talks specifically about what your discipleship time can look like. 
Part 1- How to Find Someone to Disciple You.
Part 2- Where to Start in Discipling Someone Else
Part 3- What is Discipleship and How Do You Do it?

​Laura's desire is to point to Jesus and lead people to be in awe of God. She is married and has six kids, two of whom are adopted. Her and her husband have been in full time ministry since 2002. She serves with Master Plan Ministries as the Director of Women's Ministries and has extensive experience leading Bible studies, discipling women and speaking to groups and is the Founder of the internationally popular blog MissionalWomen.com that helps women live on mission for the glory of God. She has written seven books/Bible studies, designed 2 popular ministry tools and has made journals for quiet times for many books of the Bible. You can find her on facebook, twitter, pinterest, youtube, and Instagram.

Part 1- How to Find Someone to Disciple You.
Part 2- Where to Start in Discipling Someone Else
Part 3- What is Discipleship and How Do You Do it?

Part 1: How to Find Someone to Disciple You.Probably just like you, I want to grow in wisdom. But the law of entropy says things go from order to disorder. So naturally, you and I will not automatically become wise, godly, old ladies. Naturally, we will become less patient, less kind, less wise unless...  Unless we continually walk with  and desperately depend on Jesus who renews our Spirit inwardly day by day. And unless we feed our souls with good things. Not the junk food of society, being discipled by Hollywood and it's sitcoms. But discipled by the pure milk of the Word of God and by wisdom of strong believers. 

The Lord is very clear in scripture that wisdom is something that comes through intentionally searching for it. It's not something we are born with or that happens to fall in our lap. We have to be diligent to seek it out. Finding someone to disciple you is a good way to grow in wisdom and fill your soul with truth.

                                       "Counsel is like deep water and a man of understanding draws it out."

4 Benefits of Having Someone Disciple you.1. They see differently than you. The Lord gives each person different experiences in life which enables each to experience the Lord and His character in different ways. Because of everyone's different filter of how the Lord has revealed Himself, often times others can see your circumstances through a different lens. They are able to see outside of your desires, perspective and emotions. Therefore they are able to offer you non-bias counsel. 

2. They can encourage and affirm you, seeing more in you than you see yourself. At times it can be hard to see our own strengths. A good discipler is able to see the strengths and gifts the Lord has put in you and is able to encourage, affirm and draw those out.

3. They can push you more than you would push yourself. Because a discipler can see your strengths and has affirmed those in you, they also have vision of what you're capable of that perhaps you don't think you are. They can call you to greatness and hold you accountable in your areas of weakness.

4. He who walks with the wise grows wise. You become like who you spend time with. Enough said.

So, it's a good thing to be discipled, but how do we go about getting or finding someone to fill the job?
7 Tips for Choosing Someone to Disciple You.1. Pray for the Lord to lead you. Pretty obvious, but we honestly can do nothing eternally significant apart from the Lord.

2. Don't choose right away. Something you don't want is to be stuck meeting with someone on a regular basis that you later find out doesn't even spend time with God or value something you really value. Then you're stuck in a hard place of telling her you don't want to meet with her anymore. 

3. Write down characteristics you'd like to be true of you in the future. Look for a lady who evidences the qualities you'd like to grow in. 

4. Look for someone who loves and lives for Jesus. How will you know? She will spend time with the Lord. When you love someone, you make an effort to be with them. She will  manifest the fruit of the Spirit and will discipline herself for the purpose of godliness and will  make sacrifices to live out His mission.

5. Ask her to lunch or coffee and ask questions. If she is someone you'd like to spend time with regularly, share specifically what you want from her. Proverbs says a wise person draws counsel out of people. When you get together with her, don't expect her to do all the work. Come with questions for her. Questions about her relationship with God, questions about Scripture, questions about life experiences. Ask her things like, "When you were my age, what do you wish you would have known?" What are the biggest ways the Lord has revealed Himself to you and how?" "What are the biggest things the Lord has taught you?" "What is God teaching you this week?'" Draw wisdom out of her instead of expecting her to read your mind.

6. Don't settle for just one person to invest in you. I strongly believe the Lord wants us to be influenced by many different women. What one lady can teach you, another can't. So depending on how much time you have, pursue more than one. There is wisdom in the multitude of people. 

7. Don't be limited by time or space. The Lord has allowed us to live in a time where we can communicate with each other whether we live in the same city or state or not, or even the same time period. (Don't forget you can learn from women through books they've written). If you can not get your schedules to line up, try using email, marco polo or facebook messaging. If you can't get together in person, try using zoom. Be willing to think outside the box.

I hope this has encouraged you in the discipleship series. Feel free to share this, perhaps it will be a blessing to others as well.

Check out the Full Discipleship Series
Part 1- How to Find Someone to Disciple You.
Part 2- Where to Start in Discipling Someone Else
Part 3- What is Discipleship and How Do You Do it?

​Laura's desire is to point to Jesus and lead people to be in awe of God. She is married and has six kids, two of whom are adopted. Her and her husband have been in full time ministry since 2002. She serves with Master Plan Ministries as the Director of Women's Ministries and has extensive experience leading Bible studies, discipling women and speaking to groups and is the Founder of the internationally popular blog MissionalWomen.com that helps women live on mission for the glory of God. She has written seven books/Bible studies, designed 2 popular ministry tools and has made journals for quiet times for many books of the Bible. You can find her on facebook, twitter, pinterest, youtube, and Instagram.

Hi. I bet if you're like me, you have obstacles to overcome in ministry. Here are 12 great tips that I have seen work when it comes to ministry.

1. How do I get better at motivating others intrinsically rather than blasting them with truth or shoulding them into doing things?
I love that all wisdom comes from God. He is not partial but gives wisdom freely to those who search for it, which brings about humility since we can learn from all sorts of people. (Of course weighing what people say against God's Word). On that note, here is a TED talk recommended by a national staff Cru guy I highly respect. It's called, "How Great Leaders Inspire Action", something we all can continually grow in. 


2. How can I grow in my heart for the world to know Jesus?
Whatever we feed grows right, so like Prov. 4:23 says, "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it" we need to be intentional about what we are putting in front of our minds and hearts. JoshuaProject.net is a great website that shares where the world is at in terms of being reached with the Gospel. They also have an app that gives you a different people group to pray for each day. It lets you know everything known about that people group like how many believers and if the Bible is translated and such. Then when you pray for them, you can click a little smiley face and see how many other people prayed for them that day. It's free. Get it here. 


3. How do I help others become life-long learners?
Have you ever had your disciple tell you something someone else told them and it's the very thing you've been trying to explain to them for months? We never know what God will use to help others actually understand a spiritual truth. And when we don't meet with them anymore we want them to continue to grow because they are not only able to feed themself from God's Word personally but also able to make an effort to get wisdom from other goldly people. The more we can give them wise people to learn from now the better. And really how great would it be if they got to sit down with Lee Strobel and Josh McDowell! Well, they can. Have you heard about the overflow show? It's a podcast and website with videos of wise people talking about important things. You might want to pull it up during a discipleship time to show them and help them bookmark it on their phone to listen/watch when they have time between classes. Here it is overflowtoday.com.


4. How do I help others overcome the entitlement mentality?
My husband Austin posted a great article on facebook the other day from the Covenant Eyes website that made the connection between thankfulness and the basic entitlement/greed mindset so many struggle with. It's a great read, here it is, Why Porn and Thanksgiving Don't Mix. Basically the writer uses Eph. 5:3-4 “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving”  to point out "greed isn’t just about money. You can be greedy for food, power, and in this context, you can be greedy in your sexual appetite. Greed is being focused on what you do not have."  So if we can help foster in the people we are ministering to an attitude of thankfulness it will go a LONG way in helping them overcome so many other issues. So of course the Lord would say, "...in all things give thanks for this is God's will for you." 1 Thes. 5:18  So it might be a good practice to start discipleship appointments asking what they have been thankful for in the last week and/or help them think of ways to foster an attitude of gratitude in their daily life.


5. How do I balance family and ministry?
Tyranny of the urgent (doing whatever comes up because it's urgent) robs our family and ministry of effectiveness and efficiency. That's why it's so important to have Christ on the throne and make  a clearly defined purpose statement and long term goals broken down into short term goals. (Things we are suppose to steward, our behavior and gifts, not things we can't control like other peoples decisions). Then we are able to make decisions not based on impulse but by faith of what the Lord has called us to. Then we are able to say no to good things because though something may seem good, it is actually squishing out the best. A purpose statement and long term goals broken down into short term goals helps us discern good from best. 

Besides having a purpose statement and long and short term goals to help us live out our purpose statement, we need to put big rocks first (From 7 habits of Highly Effective People) in our daily life. Big rocks are the most essential things (things like spending time with the Lord in His Word, spending time connecting with spouse and kids etc.)  Here's a video explaining the big rocks first analogy.


6.  What do I do with someone who thinks they know it all?
Perhaps you've discipled someone who thinks they have it all figured out whether it be ministry or the Bible or just life in general. It's easy to respond in unhealthy ways to these people of trying to one up them, humble/humiliate them, ignore them and so on. 

So what really is a healthy way to respond to them? How can we really love them (do what's in their best interest)? First we need to realize if someone struggles with arrogance or pride, just teaching them something is not really going to work. They need to discover it for themselves with the help of the Holy Spirit. We get the privilege of creating opportunities where the Holy Spirit can work. If we provide them with opportunities to step out in faith, it causes them to depend on the Lord (which depending on the Lord only happens when we see or feel our need to). 

One thing you can do with them is put them in situations to teach action-oriented things (not theory). For instance, you can affirm them and then suggest and help them set up a time to take so and so young Christian out to share the Gospel. 

Asking them questions also does wonders. Things like, "How would you help someone overcome doubt?" "How would you help someone take a step to go on a missions trip?" "How would you help someone be confident in raising support for a missions trip?" "What key things does a Bible study need to thrive?" How would you help a new believer have a quiet time?" "What would you do to help a new believer know how to share the Gospel?" "How would you help someone prioritize their relationship with God?" If their confidence is really unfounded, these questions (as well as others you think of) will help them humble themselves and become learners. However sometimes someone has an appropriate level of confidence we can assume is arrogance. If they can answer these questions perhaps we just need to give them more opportunities to lead. Sometimes perceived arrogance is not really arrogance but someone not being appropriately challenged.


7. How can I get someone into the action?
When my sons we little they got Clubhouse Jr. (a cute little kids magazine from Focus on the Family) and it had an article about a little 8 year old girl who saw a homeless man eating out of a trash can. For the next couple days she was still shook up by what she saw so her parents suggested she do something about it. The girl didn't know what to do so she asked some friends and they came up with a bake and art sale to raise money to give to shelters and other places that help homelessness. Then seeing fruit she then thought of painting jars to give to businesses to have people put their change in to donate to shelters. By the time she was 10 years old she had raised so much money she had to start her own foundation. She is now 18 years old and has raised over 3 million dollars. 

I heard Ann Dunagan (author of Mission Minded Family and Mission Minded Child) speak awhile back and she told the story of how her and husband started an orphanage. They were doing open air preaching in another country and she saw a 12 year old boy with no pants. She looked around and saw kids without parents who didn't even have basic clothing. She saw. She felt. She acted. 

When we see the need for someone we are ministering to, we can easily resort to only telling them all the things they should do or guilt-ing them when they don't do it. But when they aren't wanting to do something we need to recognize their desires need fixing, not just their actions. And when the issue isn't sin, it may be a matter of not seeing. If they were to see, the Lord could use it to bring about compassion. And the fruit of compassion is action. And compassion led action breeds more action. People can easily get so wrapped up in themselves and in their life that seeing outside of themselves is a huge need. So if someone isn't in the action, think of what you can do to help them see the need. Perhaps a video, a story, a statistic, a book they can read with you or maybe it's just taking them with you to serve. 


8. How to spend a day with the Lord. It is a good practice to intentionally make arrangements to spend a day or half day with the Lord to reflect on where you are, where you've been and where you're going as well as reflect on how the Lord has revealed Himself and give Him opportunity to redirect and cast vision for where He wants you to go. Here is a resource to help you spend a half day connecting with Him.


9. How do I find someone to mentor/disciple me? How do I become a mentor? What does discipleship practically look like?
This Discipleship Series (the word mentor is used interchangeably with disciple in these posts) that talk about how to find someone to disciple you, how to find someone to disciple and what discipleship is and what you can practically do in a discipleship appointment.


10. What are some events for my women's ministry? Here's a helpful tool for women's ministry groups-10 Creative, Interactive Women's Ministry Events,  Prayer Mosaic,  12 Simple Outreach Events, Discipleship Mosaic.

11. How can I use events  to do the Great Commission? Here is a video that talks about how events fit into making disciples.

 
12. What are some resources to help me foster a heart for the world in my child?  Here are some ideas of how to keep God's global mission before your kids .

​Laura's desire is to point to Jesus and lead people to be in awe of God. She is married and has six kids, two of whom are adopted. Her and her husband have been in full time ministry since 2002. She serves with Master Plan Ministries as the Director of Women's Ministries and has extensive experience leading Bible studies, discipling women and speaking to groups and is the Founder of the internationally popular blog MissionalWomen.com that helps women live on mission for the glory of God. She has written seven books/Bible studies, designed 2 popular ministry tools and has made journals for quiet times for many books of the Bible. You can find her on facebook, twitter, pinterest, youtube, and Instagram.

​Are you familiar with this proverb?

When there are no oxen, the stall is clean, but when there is a strong bull, there is abundant produce. Proverbs 14:4

Strange huh. But it's really pretty powerful if you think about it. When you have livestock then you have yucky stalls to clean but reality (especially back then) is that more good comes from having the livestock than work. 

It's the same with people. Relationships are hard work. It is way too easy to make judgments about peoples motives and have mis-communication and mis-understanding.  But reality is that relationships with people are so much more valuable than the hard work it takes to maintain them. Basically it's worth it. 

Have you seen our free printable on how to communicate in a healthy way? Well, learning to walk the wheel has benefited my marriage, how I parent and how I lead in ministry. Watch the video to learn this fabulous multi-use tool.

And here's 3 more helpful tips that are super easy to remember.

A garden full of tulips, daffodils, and hyacinths burst forth in blossoms every spring, at our old house. These flowers didn’t grow by accident. Every fall prior, we’d move the soil, plant bulbs, and add to the assortment, already dormant.

There was nothing quite like watching those first sprouts peeking through the ground after a long winter. Hyacinth’s fragranced everything around. Yet, sadly, some bulbs never survived through the winter. Despite my efforts, there was no promise of which flowers would blossom, come spring.
Discipleship can be much like planting bulbs in fall. We invest, inspect the soil, work hard, but in the end, only time and God can reveal, any beauty from our efforts.

These past six years, my husband and I have been discipling people in our home. Some seasons we have a house full; others time, just a few people. Sometimes, we see visible miracles. Other times, discipling can feel more discouraging.
​
Here are 5 tips we have learned, while disicpling:

1. It’s all about the soil. We are called to disciple, but we are not responsible for the condition of the soil. Jesus explains in Matthew 13, the condition of the soil, or the heart, is a big indicator of what is produced in a person’s life. Jesus further explains, the seeds that fall on fertile soil can produce a crop of up to a hundred times as much as had been planted. Discouragement comes when we don’t take into account, the soil of another person’s heart. Let’s model soft and transparent hearts, trusting His Word to fall on the fertile soil of other people’s lives.
2. Never underestimate prayer. Jesus prayed for those He disciples, shouldn’t we also? We can pray, “Open his (her) eyes Lord, that he(she) may see” (2 Kings 6:17), “turn to light, from darkness”. (Acts 26:18) and that those we are discipling, “might be saved.” (Romans 10:1) We can teach and preach, live as a model, or give the most accurate Biblical information, but if people’s eyes and ears aren’t opened, those we disciple will struggle to blossom, fully. Discouragement comes from striving. Let’s watch lives blossom as we pray fervently, knowing He is the one who ultimately draws people.
3. Don’t judge. Disciple whoever God puts in front of you. God is no respecter of persons (Acts 10:34), God shows no favoritism. (Rom. 2:11) To my surprise, these past six years, we have found the tattoo artist and the biker were often more radically changed than the life-long Christian. His desire is that none would be lost, (2 Pet. 3:9), regardless of people’s past or appearance. Discouragement comes when we limit God, instead of trusting Him to bloom, however, and in whom He wants.
4. We disciple, but God does all the real work. Scripture says it like this; “I planted the seed in your hearts, and Apollos watered it, but it was God who made it grow.” (1 Cor. 3:6) Discouragement comes when take credit or try to force results. Beautiful things happen when we give him the freedom to move, trust Him, and rest in the fact that He is the one who ultimately makes every life bloom. Apart from Him we are nothing.
5. It’s not our job to witness the finished product. It’s our job to disciple well. Just like tulips, people often grow at different rates, flowers blossom in different seasons. We must trust God, to finish what He’s started. Perhaps we are just one chapter in the story of the lives of somebody we are discipling. Discouragement happens when we demand immediate results. Organic, genuine and lasting growth happens when we can rest in peace, knowing, “He who has begun a good work in you will complete it.” (Phil 1:6)

Be encouraged! Disicpling is worth it! Seeds will blossom when we trust, pray, rest, and keep investing in people. Following His call will reap a harvest that’s beautiful, if we don’t give up! (Galations 6:9)

As the mother to Isaac, who became one of three Patriarchs to the Israelites, Sara had once been an elderly barren woman grappling with desperation.

As the Vizier, the second most powerful man in Egypt next to Pharaoh, Joseph had once been unloved, despised, and thrown into a pit.

Known as the man most after God’s own heart, King David spent years on the run in the wilderness waiting for the day he would be crowned King.

Each spent years in preparation for a God-given purpose that didn’t come easy. A purpose still impacting our world today.

I wonder, over time, did Sara feel shame for being unable to bear children? Did Joseph question his worth when his own brothers inflicted evil upon him? Did David doubt whether he’d really ever assume the role as King?

I think most of us have been in this place at least once in our lifetime. A place where the season of waiting doesn’t make sense anymore. A place where our flesh is pushed to the edge of our emotions.
It’s in these times, when the dream is detoured, we hear the whispers of the enemy calling us unworthy.

But, sweet sister, if this is where you are, can I look into your eyes, and say, “Stop?”
Friend, you are in a season of preparation often ladled with mountains and valleys of emotion. Celebration, disappointment, success and failure.

But all perfectly aligned in preparation for life’s next chapter. The chapter God uniquely designed for you.

However, when we fail to lean into Jesus and grow in our knowledge of His Truths, we tend to allow the lies of the enemy past the doorways of our hearts.

Because, failure, rejection, secrecy, and sin without the cross lead us straight to an identity of shame. Instead of receiving the valleys as preparation, we wear them as labels of shame. Our worth becomes attached to our accomplishments and timelines.

But wearing shame is not what God has for us. He has so much more.

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. –James 1:12

Waiting is downright brutal at times, but God sees the whole picture and knows what we need.
He knows we must:

• Go through the hard to claim victory in our purpose.

• Embrace our God-given identity before He opens doors bearing judgement and rejection.
• Lay down our idols before He gives us a platform to glorify His name.
• Feel the pain of grief before we minister to the hearts of the broken.
• Suffer the chains of confinement before we point to freedom.

Shame lurks everywhere. It lurks in the person who has never heard the name of Jesus and it lurks in those following hard after Him. You see, the enemy is a master of disguise. He’s cloaked in deception. He fools us into thinking our falling short is failure. And our failure proves we are unworthy and worthless.

So friends, the next time you are waiting on God remember you are in a season of preparation. God equips the called and right now is your time of that equipping.
Fight while you wait. Embrace the equipping and fight the enemy’s darts of shame with the Truth of your identity and with the Word of God.

Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me, for in you my soul takes refuge; in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, till the storms of destruction pass by. I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me. He will send from heaven and save me; he will put to shame him who tramples on me. Selah God will send out his steadfast love and his faithfulness! –Psalm 57:1-3
​

His bold shirt immediately caught my attention. He was patiently waiting in the long Customs line at the port. We’d both just returned home from vacation. The crowded room was packed with travelers from all over the world, but this one man stood out.

He kind of looked like an elderly Norwegian weight lifter. He was obviously in good shape, and his bright eyes and upturned smile quietly spoke of passion and purpose.
I wanted to cut through the throng over to where he was planted and ask him about his life. “What makes your heart come alive, sir?”

I was incredibly challenged by the message his attire declared.  
​
The black t-shirt was emblazoned with 2 simple words in neon yellow. Two words proclaiming, “My life is going to make a difference.” Two words that tipped the scales from mediocre to magnificent:

Make History

The guy in the black t-shirt was a world changer, and I wanted to join his club. I want my life to make a difference in this world. 

I want to make history, not excuses. 

How about you? Are you ready to change the world for Jesus? In the New Testament, we see how God used simple, uneducated men to change the course of history. They weren’t talented or super geniuses. They just allowed God to use them and followed the leading of the Holy Spirit. 
If you want to “Make History,” I’ve got 4 suggestions on how you can start today right where you are.
 
4 Ways You Can Make History

• Be a Storyteller: Tell your redemption story and help someone step from death to life.  Speak the truth boldly.

“At the same time, pray also for us, that God may open to us a door for the word, to declare the mystery of Christ, on account of which I am in prison—that I may make it clear, which is how I ought to speak. Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person” (Colossians 4:2-6, ESV).
 

• Be a Prayer Warrior: Pray for revival and watch God show up in miraculous ways. Fight for world change on your knees.

“…if My people who are called by My name humble themselves, and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land. Now My eyes will be open and My ears attentive to the prayer that is made in this place” (II Chronicles 7:14-15).

• Be a Pseudo-Philanthropist: Use your finances to grow eternal investments.  You can support a missionary or give to ministries that share the Gospel around the world like Compassion International or Samaritan’s Purse.

 
“As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy. They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, thus storing up treasure for themselves as a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is truly life” (I Timothy 6:17-19).
 

• Be a Bridge Builder: Remember you are called to be God’s Ambassador of reconciliation. Forgive as you have been forgiven and extend God’s grace to the hurting.  

“Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake He made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God. Working together with Him, then, we appeal to you not to receive the grace of God in vain. For He says, ‘In a favorable time I listened to you, and in a day of salvation I have helped you.’ Behold, now is the favorable time; behold, now is the day of salvation” (II Corinthians 5:20-6:2).

Let’s turn the world upside-down for Jesus. Make history, my friends. 

Lyli Dunbar loves teaching.  For 17 years, she mentored teenagers in the Christian school setting, and now she has serves as Associate Director of Curriculum at Trinity International University Florida. Lyli married her Prince Charming in her 40’s and has a heart for encouraging young couples and singles in God’s waiting room.  She enjoys road trips with her husband, connecting with women through Bible study, and reading way too many books. Lyli writes about life lessons and faith on her personal blog. You may also connect with her on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.

For almost a decade, I lived in a town of less than 10,000 people.  At first, I was a little leary of living in a small town, but as the years passed by, I grew to love it and the people that lived there.  When we moved to that town, our only son was a year old.  By the time our first born went to kindergarten we had another son who was about three.  As they were growing up, my workout routine had been to go to the gym in the morning while my husband was getting ready for work.  But now, with carpool to school, I knew this time would no longer be feasible.  
​

I came up with a plan.  I would get up at 5:15 am and go for a run.  The only problem with this plan was that I did not want to go alone.  I thought and thought.  I prayed and asked God to give me a partner.  After asking several friends, I finally found someone, who I barely knew, that had the same schedule.  We agreed to meet every morning Monday through Friday at 5:15 am at our local high school to get a run in each day.  We did this rain or snow, sunshine or clouds…we ran.  You know why?  She knew that I was waiting on her and I knew that she was depending on me.  


Accountability at it’s finest, right?  That accountability, over the course of about seven years, led us to run 5 half marathons, countless 5Ks, and a 15Ks…and it gave me one of the greatest friends I have ever had.  It all started with two people depending on each other…holding each other accountable.  


Accountability really is the key to discipline.  Want more accountability in your life?  Here are a few things to keep in mind:

First: Give the goal that you are trying to achieve to God.  Honestly ask Him if this is something you should pursue. I love the verse in Psalms 90:17 that says,
Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us; And confirm for us the work of our hands; Yes, confirm the work of our hands. (NAS)
God confirming the work of our hands really is the first step.  Is this something worthwhile?  Is this something that is pleasing to Him?  Are your motives pure?  Ask these important questions. 


Second:  Look for someone who is wanting to accomplish the same/similar goal.  Pray about it.  God will put someone in your path.  

Third:  Hold them accountable.  Hold up your end of the deal.  Ask hard questions.  Be honest when you are asked hard questions.  Just do it. 

Accountability doesn’t have to take place just while you are together.  Start a FB group.  Start a text string.  Meet for coffee.  Start an email string.  Just whatever works for you.  Whatever you decide begin the process today.  Your future self will thank you!  And who knows, you might just meet a running partner that turns out to be one of the best friends you’ve ever had. 

I didn't grow up any where near a Christian environment. So, now that I am walking with God it creates interesting conversations every time the family and I get together. One of the most common things that I hear...

And, let's be honest, from the outside looking in it could look like that. But the truth is, following Jesus is the furthest thing from easy. Walking obediently into the dark where you don't know the outcome... that's anything but a crutch. It's scary. It's rough around the edges. It's messy. 

Show me someone who is willing and obedient to what God has for them and I promise you'll see someone who isn't happy all the time, who is scared, who is for the most part, just trying to do the right thing that day. 

Our ultimate destination is Heaven, but here on earth the goal is becoming more like Jesus. Reflecting Him. Surrendering our desires and taking on His.

It's the process called sanctification. ​The process of being slowly changed by God to look, act and think more like Jesus. 

​For a lot of us, that is our prayer: "Lord, help me to be more like You!" We sing songs with lyrics like, "Break my heart for what breaks Yours!"  Or songs like Oceans or Captain and ask God to bring us to something amazing--pledging to follow Him where ever. 

Ministry is about service. Service to the Kingdom, to the women you minister to, to the people on your staff team or to your families. Serving others. We serve because Jesus served first. 

So, if our prayer is to become more like Jesus (and it is!). We can't be surprised when we are treated like a servant. 

When we feel used. When we feel discouraged. When we feel like a servant, we are feeling like Jesus felt. And while it doesn't always seem like a good thing, it truly is. If you're feeling like a servant it means that you've probably acted like Jesus recently. 

So put your shoulders back and look forward with ambition and determination. Jesus will come along side you, He will help you every step of the way. And take the feeling of being used and turn it into a sign to keep running in your lane.
​ 

​Jacque is the Missional Women Intern and a college student in Denver, CO who balances her time between trying to go to class and learning about His saving grace and perfect love as much as she can.  She is a twenty something, DIY attempting, Jesus loving, Denver living, small town rooted, Colorado sports fan.  She loves black coffee, long conversations and watching people do what God created them for. You can find her Christian Twenty Somethings blog at Desperately Dependent. ​