Hi. I bet if you're like me, you have obstacles to overcome in ministry. Here are 12 great tips that I have seen work when it comes to ministry.

1. How do I get better at motivating others intrinsically rather than blasting them with truth or shoulding them into doing things?
I love that all wisdom comes from God. He is not partial but gives wisdom freely to those who search for it, which brings about humility since we can learn from all sorts of people. (Of course weighing what people say against God's Word). On that note, here is a TED talk recommended by a national staff Cru guy I highly respect. It's called, "How Great Leaders Inspire Action", something we all can continually grow in. 


2. How can I grow in my heart for the world to know Jesus?
Whatever we feed grows right, so like Prov. 4:23 says, "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it" we need to be intentional about what we are putting in front of our minds and hearts. JoshuaProject.net is a great website that shares where the world is at in terms of being reached with the Gospel. They also have an app that gives you a different people group to pray for each day. It lets you know everything known about that people group like how many believers and if the Bible is translated and such. Then when you pray for them, you can click a little smiley face and see how many other people prayed for them that day. It's free. Get it here. 


3. How do I help others become life-long learners?
Have you ever had your disciple tell you something someone else told them and it's the very thing you've been trying to explain to them for months? We never know what God will use to help others actually understand a spiritual truth. And when we don't meet with them anymore we want them to continue to grow because they are not only able to feed themself from God's Word personally but also able to make an effort to get wisdom from other goldly people. The more we can give them wise people to learn from now the better. And really how great would it be if they got to sit down with Lee Strobel and Josh McDowell! Well, they can. Have you heard about the overflow show? It's a podcast and website with videos of wise people talking about important things. You might want to pull it up during a discipleship time to show them and help them bookmark it on their phone to listen/watch when they have time between classes. Here it is overflowtoday.com.


4. How do I help others overcome the entitlement mentality?
My husband Austin posted a great article on facebook the other day from the Covenant Eyes website that made the connection between thankfulness and the basic entitlement/greed mindset so many struggle with. It's a great read, here it is, Why Porn and Thanksgiving Don't Mix. Basically the writer uses Eph. 5:3-4 “But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving”  to point out "greed isn’t just about money. You can be greedy for food, power, and in this context, you can be greedy in your sexual appetite. Greed is being focused on what you do not have."  So if we can help foster in the people we are ministering to an attitude of thankfulness it will go a LONG way in helping them overcome so many other issues. So of course the Lord would say, "...in all things give thanks for this is God's will for you." 1 Thes. 5:18  So it might be a good practice to start discipleship appointments asking what they have been thankful for in the last week and/or help them think of ways to foster an attitude of gratitude in their daily life.


5. How do I balance family and ministry?
Tyranny of the urgent (doing whatever comes up because it's urgent) robs our family and ministry of effectiveness and efficiency. That's why it's so important to have Christ on the throne and make  a clearly defined purpose statement and long term goals broken down into short term goals. (Things we are suppose to steward, our behavior and gifts, not things we can't control like other peoples decisions). Then we are able to make decisions not based on impulse but by faith of what the Lord has called us to. Then we are able to say no to good things because though something may seem good, it is actually squishing out the best. A purpose statement and long term goals broken down into short term goals helps us discern good from best. 

Besides having a purpose statement and long and short term goals to help us live out our purpose statement, we need to put big rocks first (From 7 habits of Highly Effective People) in our daily life. Big rocks are the most essential things (things like spending time with the Lord in His Word, spending time connecting with spouse and kids etc.)  Here's a video explaining the big rocks first analogy.


6.  What do I do with someone who thinks they know it all?
Perhaps you've discipled someone who thinks they have it all figured out whether it be ministry or the Bible or just life in general. It's easy to respond in unhealthy ways to these people of trying to one up them, humble/humiliate them, ignore them and so on. 

So what really is a healthy way to respond to them? How can we really love them (do what's in their best interest)? First we need to realize if someone struggles with arrogance or pride, just teaching them something is not really going to work. They need to discover it for themselves with the help of the Holy Spirit. We get the privilege of creating opportunities where the Holy Spirit can work. If we provide them with opportunities to step out in faith, it causes them to depend on the Lord (which depending on the Lord only happens when we see or feel our need to). 

One thing you can do with them is put them in situations to teach action-oriented things (not theory). For instance, you can affirm them and then suggest and help them set up a time to take so and so young Christian out to share the Gospel. 

Asking them questions also does wonders. Things like, "How would you help someone overcome doubt?" "How would you help someone take a step to go on a missions trip?" "How would you help someone be confident in raising support for a missions trip?" "What key things does a Bible study need to thrive?" How would you help a new believer have a quiet time?" "What would you do to help a new believer know how to share the Gospel?" "How would you help someone prioritize their relationship with God?" If their confidence is really unfounded, these questions (as well as others you think of) will help them humble themselves and become learners. However sometimes someone has an appropriate level of confidence we can assume is arrogance. If they can answer these questions perhaps we just need to give them more opportunities to lead. Sometimes perceived arrogance is not really arrogance but someone not being appropriately challenged.


7. How can I get someone into the action?
When my sons we little they got Clubhouse Jr. (a cute little kids magazine from Focus on the Family) and it had an article about a little 8 year old girl who saw a homeless man eating out of a trash can. For the next couple days she was still shook up by what she saw so her parents suggested she do something about it. The girl didn't know what to do so she asked some friends and they came up with a bake and art sale to raise money to give to shelters and other places that help homelessness. Then seeing fruit she then thought of painting jars to give to businesses to have people put their change in to donate to shelters. By the time she was 10 years old she had raised so much money she had to start her own foundation. She is now 18 years old and has raised over 3 million dollars. 

I heard Ann Dunagan (author of Mission Minded Family and Mission Minded Child) speak awhile back and she told the story of how her and husband started an orphanage. They were doing open air preaching in another country and she saw a 12 year old boy with no pants. She looked around and saw kids without parents who didn't even have basic clothing. She saw. She felt. She acted. 

When we see the need for someone we are ministering to, we can easily resort to only telling them all the things they should do or guilt-ing them when they don't do it. But when they aren't wanting to do something we need to recognize their desires need fixing, not just their actions. And when the issue isn't sin, it may be a matter of not seeing. If they were to see, the Lord could use it to bring about compassion. And the fruit of compassion is action. And compassion led action breeds more action. People can easily get so wrapped up in themselves and in their life that seeing outside of themselves is a huge need. So if someone isn't in the action, think of what you can do to help them see the need. Perhaps a video, a story, a statistic, a book they can read with you or maybe it's just taking them with you to serve. 


8. How to spend a day with the Lord. It is a good practice to intentionally make arrangements to spend a day or half day with the Lord to reflect on where you are, where you've been and where you're going as well as reflect on how the Lord has revealed Himself and give Him opportunity to redirect and cast vision for where He wants you to go. Here is a resource to help you spend a half day connecting with Him.


9. How do I find someone to mentor/disciple me? How do I become a mentor? What does discipleship practically look like?
This Discipleship Series (the word mentor is used interchangeably with disciple in these posts) that talk about how to find someone to disciple you, how to find someone to disciple and what discipleship is and what you can practically do in a discipleship appointment.


10. What are some events for my women's ministry? Here's a helpful tool for women's ministry groups-10 Creative, Interactive Women's Ministry Events,  Prayer Mosaic,  12 Simple Outreach Events, Discipleship Mosaic.

11. How can I use events  to do the Great Commission? Here is a video that talks about how events fit into making disciples.

 
12. What are some resources to help me foster a heart for the world in my child?  Here are some ideas of how to keep God's global mission before your kids .

​Laura's desire is to point to Jesus and lead people to be in awe of God. She is married and has six kids, two of whom are adopted. Her and her husband have been in full time ministry since 2002. She serves with Master Plan Ministries as the Director of Women's Ministries and has extensive experience leading Bible studies, discipling women and speaking to groups and is the Founder of the internationally popular blog MissionalWomen.com that helps women live on mission for the glory of God. She has written seven books/Bible studies, designed 2 popular ministry tools and has made journals for quiet times for many books of the Bible. You can find her on facebook, twitter, pinterest, youtube, and Instagram.

​Are you familiar with this proverb?

When there are no oxen, the stall is clean, but when there is a strong bull, there is abundant produce. Proverbs 14:4

Strange huh. But it's really pretty powerful if you think about it. When you have livestock then you have yucky stalls to clean but reality (especially back then) is that more good comes from having the livestock than work. 

It's the same with people. Relationships are hard work. It is way too easy to make judgments about peoples motives and have mis-communication and mis-understanding.  But reality is that relationships with people are so much more valuable than the hard work it takes to maintain them. Basically it's worth it. 

Have you seen our free printable on how to communicate in a healthy way? Well, learning to walk the wheel has benefited my marriage, how I parent and how I lead in ministry. Watch the video to learn this fabulous multi-use tool.

And here's 3 more helpful tips that are super easy to remember.

A garden full of tulips, daffodils, and hyacinths burst forth in blossoms every spring, at our old house. These flowers didn’t grow by accident. Every fall prior, we’d move the soil, plant bulbs, and add to the assortment, already dormant.

There was nothing quite like watching those first sprouts peeking through the ground after a long winter. Hyacinth’s fragranced everything around. Yet, sadly, some bulbs never survived through the winter. Despite my efforts, there was no promise of which flowers would blossom, come spring.
Discipleship can be much like planting bulbs in fall. We invest, inspect the soil, work hard, but in the end, only time and God can reveal, any beauty from our efforts.

These past six years, my husband and I have been discipling people in our home. Some seasons we have a house full; others time, just a few people. Sometimes, we see visible miracles. Other times, discipling can feel more discouraging.
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Here are 5 tips we have learned, while disicpling:

1. It’s all about the soil. We are called to disciple, but we are not responsible for the condition of the soil. Jesus explains in Matthew 13, the condition of the soil, or the heart, is a big indicator of what is produced in a person’s life. Jesus further explains, the seeds that fall on fertile soil can produce a crop of up to a hundred times as much as had been planted. Discouragement comes when we don’t take into account, the soil of another person’s heart. Let’s model soft and transparent hearts, trusting His Word to fall on the fertile soil of other people’s lives.
2. Never underestimate prayer. Jesus prayed for those He disciples, shouldn’t we also? We can pray, “Open his (her) eyes Lord, that he(she) may see” (2 Kings 6:17), “turn to light, from darkness”. (Acts 26:18) and that those we are discipling, “might be saved.” (Romans 10:1) We can teach and preach, live as a model, or give the most accurate Biblical information, but if people’s eyes and ears aren’t opened, those we disciple will struggle to blossom, fully. Discouragement comes from striving. Let’s watch lives blossom as we pray fervently, knowing He is the one who ultimately draws people.
3. Don’t judge. Disciple whoever God puts in front of you. God is no respecter of persons (Acts 10:34), God shows no favoritism. (Rom. 2:11) To my surprise, these past six years, we have found the tattoo artist and the biker were often more radically changed than the life-long Christian. His desire is that none would be lost, (2 Pet. 3:9), regardless of people’s past or appearance. Discouragement comes when we limit God, instead of trusting Him to bloom, however, and in whom He wants.
4. We disciple, but God does all the real work. Scripture says it like this; “I planted the seed in your hearts, and Apollos watered it, but it was God who made it grow.” (1 Cor. 3:6) Discouragement comes when take credit or try to force results. Beautiful things happen when we give him the freedom to move, trust Him, and rest in the fact that He is the one who ultimately makes every life bloom. Apart from Him we are nothing.
5. It’s not our job to witness the finished product. It’s our job to disciple well. Just like tulips, people often grow at different rates, flowers blossom in different seasons. We must trust God, to finish what He’s started. Perhaps we are just one chapter in the story of the lives of somebody we are discipling. Discouragement happens when we demand immediate results. Organic, genuine and lasting growth happens when we can rest in peace, knowing, “He who has begun a good work in you will complete it.” (Phil 1:6)

Be encouraged! Disicpling is worth it! Seeds will blossom when we trust, pray, rest, and keep investing in people. Following His call will reap a harvest that’s beautiful, if we don’t give up! (Galations 6:9)

As the mother to Isaac, who became one of three Patriarchs to the Israelites, Sara had once been an elderly barren woman grappling with desperation.

As the Vizier, the second most powerful man in Egypt next to Pharaoh, Joseph had once been unloved, despised, and thrown into a pit.

Known as the man most after God’s own heart, King David spent years on the run in the wilderness waiting for the day he would be crowned King.

Each spent years in preparation for a God-given purpose that didn’t come easy. A purpose still impacting our world today.

I wonder, over time, did Sara feel shame for being unable to bear children? Did Joseph question his worth when his own brothers inflicted evil upon him? Did David doubt whether he’d really ever assume the role as King?

I think most of us have been in this place at least once in our lifetime. A place where the season of waiting doesn’t make sense anymore. A place where our flesh is pushed to the edge of our emotions.
It’s in these times, when the dream is detoured, we hear the whispers of the enemy calling us unworthy.

But, sweet sister, if this is where you are, can I look into your eyes, and say, “Stop?”
Friend, you are in a season of preparation often ladled with mountains and valleys of emotion. Celebration, disappointment, success and failure.

But all perfectly aligned in preparation for life’s next chapter. The chapter God uniquely designed for you.

However, when we fail to lean into Jesus and grow in our knowledge of His Truths, we tend to allow the lies of the enemy past the doorways of our hearts.

Because, failure, rejection, secrecy, and sin without the cross lead us straight to an identity of shame. Instead of receiving the valleys as preparation, we wear them as labels of shame. Our worth becomes attached to our accomplishments and timelines.

But wearing shame is not what God has for us. He has so much more.

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. –James 1:12

Waiting is downright brutal at times, but God sees the whole picture and knows what we need.
He knows we must:

• Go through the hard to claim victory in our purpose.

• Embrace our God-given identity before He opens doors bearing judgement and rejection.
• Lay down our idols before He gives us a platform to glorify His name.
• Feel the pain of grief before we minister to the hearts of the broken.
• Suffer the chains of confinement before we point to freedom.

Shame lurks everywhere. It lurks in the person who has never heard the name of Jesus and it lurks in those following hard after Him. You see, the enemy is a master of disguise. He’s cloaked in deception. He fools us into thinking our falling short is failure. And our failure proves we are unworthy and worthless.

So friends, the next time you are waiting on God remember you are in a season of preparation. God equips the called and right now is your time of that equipping.
Fight while you wait. Embrace the equipping and fight the enemy’s darts of shame with the Truth of your identity and with the Word of God.

Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me, for in you my soul takes refuge; in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, till the storms of destruction pass by. I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me. He will send from heaven and save me; he will put to shame him who tramples on me. Selah God will send out his steadfast love and his faithfulness! –Psalm 57:1-3
​

His bold shirt immediately caught my attention. He was patiently waiting in the long Customs line at the port. We’d both just returned home from vacation. The crowded room was packed with travelers from all over the world, but this one man stood out.

He kind of looked like an elderly Norwegian weight lifter. He was obviously in good shape, and his bright eyes and upturned smile quietly spoke of passion and purpose.
I wanted to cut through the throng over to where he was planted and ask him about his life. “What makes your heart come alive, sir?”

I was incredibly challenged by the message his attire declared.  
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The black t-shirt was emblazoned with 2 simple words in neon yellow. Two words proclaiming, “My life is going to make a difference.” Two words that tipped the scales from mediocre to magnificent:

Make History

The guy in the black t-shirt was a world changer, and I wanted to join his club. I want my life to make a difference in this world. 

I want to make history, not excuses. 

How about you? Are you ready to change the world for Jesus? In the New Testament, we see how God used simple, uneducated men to change the course of history. They weren’t talented or super geniuses. They just allowed God to use them and followed the leading of the Holy Spirit. 
If you want to “Make History,” I’ve got 4 suggestions on how you can start today right where you are.
 
4 Ways You Can Make History

• Be a Storyteller: Tell your redemption story and help someone step from death to life.  Speak the truth boldly.

“At the same time, pray also for us, that God may open to us a door for the word, to declare the mystery of Christ, on account of which I am in prison—that I may make it clear, which is how I ought to speak. Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person” (Colossians 4:2-6, ESV).
 

• Be a Prayer Warrior: Pray for revival and watch God show up in miraculous ways. Fight for world change on your knees.

“…if My people who are called by My name humble themselves, and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land. Now My eyes will be open and My ears attentive to the prayer that is made in this place” (II Chronicles 7:14-15).

• Be a Pseudo-Philanthropist: Use your finances to grow eternal investments.  You can support a missionary or give to ministries that share the Gospel around the world like Compassion International or Samaritan’s Purse.

 
“As for the rich in this present age, charge them not to be haughty, nor to set their hopes on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly provides us with everything to enjoy. They are to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share, thus storing up treasure for themselves as a good foundation for the future, so that they may take hold of that which is truly life” (I Timothy 6:17-19).
 

• Be a Bridge Builder: Remember you are called to be God’s Ambassador of reconciliation. Forgive as you have been forgiven and extend God’s grace to the hurting.  

“Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake He made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God. Working together with Him, then, we appeal to you not to receive the grace of God in vain. For He says, ‘In a favorable time I listened to you, and in a day of salvation I have helped you.’ Behold, now is the favorable time; behold, now is the day of salvation” (II Corinthians 5:20-6:2).

Let’s turn the world upside-down for Jesus. Make history, my friends. 

Lyli Dunbar loves teaching.  For 17 years, she mentored teenagers in the Christian school setting, and now she has serves as Associate Director of Curriculum at Trinity International University Florida. Lyli married her Prince Charming in her 40’s and has a heart for encouraging young couples and singles in God’s waiting room.  She enjoys road trips with her husband, connecting with women through Bible study, and reading way too many books. Lyli writes about life lessons and faith on her personal blog. You may also connect with her on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.

For almost a decade, I lived in a town of less than 10,000 people.  At first, I was a little leary of living in a small town, but as the years passed by, I grew to love it and the people that lived there.  When we moved to that town, our only son was a year old.  By the time our first born went to kindergarten we had another son who was about three.  As they were growing up, my workout routine had been to go to the gym in the morning while my husband was getting ready for work.  But now, with carpool to school, I knew this time would no longer be feasible.  
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I came up with a plan.  I would get up at 5:15 am and go for a run.  The only problem with this plan was that I did not want to go alone.  I thought and thought.  I prayed and asked God to give me a partner.  After asking several friends, I finally found someone, who I barely knew, that had the same schedule.  We agreed to meet every morning Monday through Friday at 5:15 am at our local high school to get a run in each day.  We did this rain or snow, sunshine or clouds…we ran.  You know why?  She knew that I was waiting on her and I knew that she was depending on me.  


Accountability at it’s finest, right?  That accountability, over the course of about seven years, led us to run 5 half marathons, countless 5Ks, and a 15Ks…and it gave me one of the greatest friends I have ever had.  It all started with two people depending on each other…holding each other accountable.  


Accountability really is the key to discipline.  Want more accountability in your life?  Here are a few things to keep in mind:

First: Give the goal that you are trying to achieve to God.  Honestly ask Him if this is something you should pursue. I love the verse in Psalms 90:17 that says,
Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us; And confirm for us the work of our hands; Yes, confirm the work of our hands. (NAS)
God confirming the work of our hands really is the first step.  Is this something worthwhile?  Is this something that is pleasing to Him?  Are your motives pure?  Ask these important questions. 


Second:  Look for someone who is wanting to accomplish the same/similar goal.  Pray about it.  God will put someone in your path.  

Third:  Hold them accountable.  Hold up your end of the deal.  Ask hard questions.  Be honest when you are asked hard questions.  Just do it. 

Accountability doesn’t have to take place just while you are together.  Start a FB group.  Start a text string.  Meet for coffee.  Start an email string.  Just whatever works for you.  Whatever you decide begin the process today.  Your future self will thank you!  And who knows, you might just meet a running partner that turns out to be one of the best friends you’ve ever had. 

I didn't grow up any where near a Christian environment. So, now that I am walking with God it creates interesting conversations every time the family and I get together. One of the most common things that I hear...

And, let's be honest, from the outside looking in it could look like that. But the truth is, following Jesus is the furthest thing from easy. Walking obediently into the dark where you don't know the outcome... that's anything but a crutch. It's scary. It's rough around the edges. It's messy. 

Show me someone who is willing and obedient to what God has for them and I promise you'll see someone who isn't happy all the time, who is scared, who is for the most part, just trying to do the right thing that day. 

Our ultimate destination is Heaven, but here on earth the goal is becoming more like Jesus. Reflecting Him. Surrendering our desires and taking on His.

It's the process called sanctification. ​The process of being slowly changed by God to look, act and think more like Jesus. 

​For a lot of us, that is our prayer: "Lord, help me to be more like You!" We sing songs with lyrics like, "Break my heart for what breaks Yours!"  Or songs like Oceans or Captain and ask God to bring us to something amazing--pledging to follow Him where ever. 

Ministry is about service. Service to the Kingdom, to the women you minister to, to the people on your staff team or to your families. Serving others. We serve because Jesus served first. 

So, if our prayer is to become more like Jesus (and it is!). We can't be surprised when we are treated like a servant. 

When we feel used. When we feel discouraged. When we feel like a servant, we are feeling like Jesus felt. And while it doesn't always seem like a good thing, it truly is. If you're feeling like a servant it means that you've probably acted like Jesus recently. 

So put your shoulders back and look forward with ambition and determination. Jesus will come along side you, He will help you every step of the way. And take the feeling of being used and turn it into a sign to keep running in your lane.
​ 

​Jacque is the Missional Women Intern and a college student in Denver, CO who balances her time between trying to go to class and learning about His saving grace and perfect love as much as she can.  She is a twenty something, DIY attempting, Jesus loving, Denver living, small town rooted, Colorado sports fan.  She loves black coffee, long conversations and watching people do what God created them for. You can find her Christian Twenty Somethings blog at Desperately Dependent. ​

Have you ever had a light bulb moment that radically changed your life? That phrase, "changed my life" is drastically overused and I tend to get a little squeamish when I hear people say it because the reality is, not many things actually change our entire life. All that to say that when I say something changed my life, I'm not even a hint exaggerating. Okay, now that I've gotten that off my chest, let me tell you about a light bulb moment that changed my life. I was at a friends house and he made a comment about how he was unteachable. That's it. I'm sure he wasn't trying to be used by God and I'm not even totally sure he was walking with God at the time. But there it was, this statement that hit me in the chest. A short little sentence the Holy Spirit used to convict me deep. I didn't want to be unteachable. I wanted, desperately wanted, to be teachable. For years after that moment I prayed and asked God to make me teachable. God used that moment to change me. He birthed a desire in me, He drew me to talk to Him about it and then He produced the fruit of the prayer. Before that moment, I was unteachable. I was unreceptive to correction and thought I knew an awful lot. I had a hard heart. But God, in His gracious way soften it and made it soft and pliable in His hands. He turned my hard ground of a heart into good soil. (Mark 4)

Have you had a hard heart?
How did God soften it?

Did you know when the Lord tells us we are the salt of the earth that it means we are heart softeners? It does! "According to specialists in environmental science and soil chemistry, salt has been a major method of fertilizing soil for centuries." So when Jesus was talking about us being salt and light in Matthew 5, He was speaking more about the agricultural use of salt rather that the addition of flavor. The fertilizing salts in Jesus' day were not like our modern table salt (sodium chloride). Instead they were mixtures of chlorides of sodium, magnesium, and potassium, with very small amounts of calcium sulfate (gypsum). Some salts would dissolve faster than others, while others withstood the elements much better. These hardier/saltier salts were generally more valuable agriculturally because their benefits would last longer.

So when Jesus talked about salt losing its saltiness, He's referring to a process where the salts naturally disintegrates over time as it loses a small amount of gypsum. This change in saltiness makes it a less effective fertilizing agent. Basically, the salt looses it's ability to soften and enrich the soil.

Anthony B. Bradley in an article for Christianity Today, discovered and wrote, "not only did the ancient Hebrews use salt in this way, but so did the Chinese and early Romans. Salt was used in arid places to help soil retain moisture, destroy weeds, make stubborn soils easier to till, and make sour grass sweeter and more appealing to cattle. In some soils, salt keeps rust from wheat, and blight from potatoes. When applied properly, salt will kill surface weeds while allowing more deeply rooted plants and grass to thrive. And when rain or irrigation allows salt to permeate soil, the salt chemically frees vital minerals and nutrients in the soil, allowing them to nourish plants.

While this may be a foreign concept to us in the West, it is still well-known in other parts of the world. For example, the Philippine Coconut Authority recently released a technology guide sheet for farmers titled, “SALT (Sodium Chloride): An Effective and Cheap Fertilizer for High Coconut Productivity.” The guide notes that salt accelerates crop growth and development, increases crop yield, minimizes damage to plants, and promotes environmental sustainability. According to the guide, between 1991 and 1997, farmers who fertilized with salt had a yield increase of 125 percent over unfertilized coconuts." 

So as we think about salt softening soil, it makes me think of when Jesus compared the human heart to soil. He describes our hearts in four different ways. 
 
1. Hard heart like soil along a path, where the seed of truth comes but is immediately snatched up by birds. There is no time or ability to absorb the seed.

2 Rocky, a heart that hears truth and immediately receives it with joy but because there is no root, when pressure or persecution come, they immediately stumble.

3. Thorny soil. These are the ones who hear thee word, but worries of this life and desires for wealth
and other things in this life choke out the truth.

4. Good soiled hearts that hear God's Word and produce a crop of 30, 60, and 100 times what was sown. 
​
The more good soiled people, the more fruit we will see. How awesome to be investing our life and time into good soiled people. (That's another topic covered in the discipleship/mentoring series- choosing the right people to invest in). But how can we help people with hard, rocky or thorny soiled hearts get a little bit softer, good soiled hearts? 

If God calls us to be heart softeners, how do we partner with Him in this impossible task?

6 Ideas of How to Soften Hearts

1. Pray for them. Only God can change hearts but He desires to use us in peoples lives. Many times in Scripture we see Him wait to move in people lives until people prayed. And the incredible thing about prayer is that He not only changes other peoples hearts through us talking to Him about them, but He changes our hearts. When we pray the best things we know how for people, He begins to align our heart to His. As we delight in Him/yield to Him, He gives us the desires of what to pray for and then we get to see Him answer them. 

2. Communicate. It's just way too easy to assume things. And that little easy thing to do can bring about so much pain and frustration. Yet on the other hand, asking questions brings so much health and perspective. it is wisdom to draw someone out, to pursue their heart. Asking questions and getting to know someone shows care and love and softens hearts. When was a time you felt cared for? I wonder if it can be traced back to someone pursuing/drawing you out and asking you questions and then did something about it. On the other hand, do you have an example of how someone assumed something and did something about it. How did that affect your heart? Probably the opposite of softening.

3. Love the way they understand and experience love. The book, The Five Love Languages talks about this and how we miss people when we are loving them in a way they receive love. It takes being intentional to figure out how someone feels loved. But when you do love someone in a way to can experience it, it's a home run in terms of seeing hearts softened.

4. Use your gifts to serve.
God created you unique, with a contribution to the world that only you can give. Others may have the same gift as you, but they don't have the same combination of personality, gift and relationship with God that you have. You are a unique salt crystal that has a part to play in softening hearts. The way you serve others doesn't have to look the same way as everyone else. What has God given you and how can you use that to serve others around you? By giving of yourself, it is an example, a testimony to the world of what God can do and what He loves.

5. Do what's right. It doesn't necessarily feel like it, but the world is watching. So when we do what's right even when it seems like a loosing battle, even when we look silly and know that it will bring persecution, it speaks volumes. When others look at us and see something different, when they see people willing to do hard things, uncomfortable things, it sparks curiosity and gives room for God to work in hearts.

6. Yield to the Holy Spirit. The last and yet the very most important is yielding to the Lord. The beautiful fruit of the Spirit; like gentleness, patience and self-control are not a fruit of trying really hard to produce them in our life. They are a result of yielding to the Lord and letting Him produce His fruit through us. And the fruit of gentleness, grace and truth and patience is perhaps one of the most beautiful things there are. When you are on the receiving end of grace, of truth spoken with great gentleness, it softens. And since this thing the Lord says we will be, heart softeners, can only be as we walk dependent on Him. Here's a video explaining how you know if you're walking in the Spirit.

Once in awhile (most recently a couple weeks ago) the thought, "Why am I even doing this!? They are not learning." completely discourages me. This time it was in context of my strong-willed kiddos. They have heard and been trained and disciplined for the same thing over and over and then over some more. I'm talking years here. And yet, they still do the very thing I said not too. 

And though this time my frustration of lack of growth was with my kiddos, I've also thought and felt the same thing with people involved in our ministry in the past. Sometimes it's been something I've been trying to teach that is just not getting through. But then someone else will say the same exact thing and the person will come up to me and say, Guess what so and so said...! and it's the very same thing. (This is something called third person credibility. A very cool thing really but at times it can be discouraging when you're perspective is skewed). Other times it's when someone is caught in sin or just wont take a step of faith no matter how much you cast vision and take them with you. Not seeing growth can be very discouraging.

Investing in people is hard. It has brought about some of the most rewarding and also some of the most painful experiences I've ever had. And not only that, but investing in people has no end. It's not like the mailman who has his bag of mail which he delivers door to door and then his job is done. Investing in people can be very slow going and completely out of our hands, for the Lord is the One who brings growth, not us.

Then I remember years and years ago a time when God whispered to me as I was standing at the drinking fountain of a new church, I'm going to use you here. And He did. He used me to play a significant role in seeing the church grow from 30 older people to about 200 in a very short amount of time through many young girls coming to Christ and getting plugged into the church and bringing their families. But the thing is, HE used me. And HE is the One who changed lives and drew girls to Himself. I couldn't even choose the time or the place. Now that I have moved back to the very town where that church is, 10 years later it is thriving and I'm overwhelmed with what God is capable of. His plan is so much bigger than our present day worries.

We don't need to get discouraged because God will complete the good work He started (Phil. 1:6). And He tells us that our labor in the Lord is not in vain (1 Cor.15:58). 1 Corinthians 3 talks about how some people plant and some water but God is the One who brings the growth. So though we might go through seasons where we do not see the kind of growth we'd like to, that doesn't mean it's not happening. God's growth is often slower than we might expect.

So for those seasons when you feel like it's not worth it, hopefully these 4 things will help:
4 Things to Remember When you Feel Like it's Not Worth it.
1. It's Not your Job to Change Hearts. It is so freeing when it sinks in that we can't change peoples hearts and that God doesn't expect us to. But not only is it freeing to us, it frees the other person. We can begin to accept personalities rather than make them who we want them to be. 


2. Enjoy the Lord in the process. CS Lewis once said, "Stop regarding all the unpleasant things as interruptions of life" This is crazy hard for me, a lazer focused person. I want to accomplish and be effective in everything the Lord has put on my plate (and things I've put on my plate). 

I once read a story of a man who every morning would get up and say, God what do you want me to do today? And each morning the Lord would say I want you to push on the big rock outside. I want you too push with all your might. So day after day the man would push the rock and finally he got so discouraged that he had been working so hard and the rock hadn't even moved an inch. He finally broke now to the Lord feeling completely defeated. The rock hasn't even moved and inch, I am so sorry! I am such a failure! But God lifted his head and gently said to him, I never intended you to move the rock my son. Puzzled and a little frustrated the man asked why in the world God had told him to push the rock every day. Then God said, Look at you. You are strong. Your muscles have grown as well as your perseverance. My intention all along was for you to get stronger, not for you to move the rock.

The Lord is wanting to shape us through this in a variety of ways. At times it could be to grow in compassion, perseverance,  or even the ability and skill to do the things He wants us to do.  This was what He was doing in the Israelite's but didn’t really enjoy their testing in the wilderness. They grumbled and complained. They even talked about going back  to being slaves in Egypt thinking it was better than what they were presently experiencing. They did not delight in the Lord through the process. The regarded the unpleasant desert as an interruption. How often I do the same! Ugh.


3. Be willing to not see the end product. My personality is one that keeps focused on the end result and checking things off the list until I get there at the expense of delighting in the Lord on the way there.

The builders of medieval cathedrals knew what it meant to work their entire lives to please God without ever expecting to see their work completed. Many cathedrals would take more than a hundred years to build! One hundred years! Can you imagine! Talk about slow going and never experiencing the blessing of accomplishment.  

The Lord wants us to keep focused on the end result-the end as He sees it, not the end of where the list is crossed off. He wants us to fix our minds on things above, on eternity, living for then all the while walking with Him till then. Another way to say it is to keep your mind fixed on the things to come in heaven but walking by the power of His strength till them. This will allow us to enjoy Him through the process, though it might be difficult.


​4. Taking initiative in the power of the Holy Spirit and leave the results up to God. Just because we can't change hearts, doesn't mean we shouldn't make effort in people. Or just because it's hard or because it's a very slow process often times that dowsn't mean we shouldn't make effort and plan and prepare for helping others grow. it just means we need the Lord who gives wisdom. We can not do this impossible task by our own strength. 

Often times when meeting with girls I would feel inadequate or unsure of what they really needed but as I would go to the Lord and ask Him (sometimes before hand when preparing what I was going to do with them, and sometimes in the moment), He would put an idea in my mind and if it didn't contradict Scripture, then I would pursue it. And so often it was just what the girls needed to hear. There was absolutely no way I would have known. But we have God who knows His people and wants to interact with them. A generous God who can lead us as to how to teach and disciple. 

Though we can't change lives or hearts, God can and wants to use us. Our part is to live dependent on Him. To take initiative in the power of His Spirit and leave the results up to Him. 

For everything we do, is for God. For His glory and His pleasure. As crazy as it sounds, my goal is not them learning and changing, though I hope they will. My goal is to please God. I am not in charge of making them learn. I just need to be faithful to teach the best I can by the power of His strength. 

​Laura, the founder of Missional Women is married and has six kids, two of whom are adopted. Laura and her husband have been missionaries to college students for 14 years serving with Master Plan Ministries where she is the Women's Development Coordinator. Laura has authored 5 books, including an award winning 12 week Bible Study on First Samuel, Beholding Him, Becoming Missional, Reach; How to Use Your Social Media Influence for the Glory of God, A Devotional Journey through Judges, and Discover God's Calling for Your Life. Most recently her resource for Bible studies, The Connect Cards was released by Cru Press. You can find her on facebook, twitter, pinterest, youtube, instagram, periscope, blab and her author site.

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​Nearly every weekend this last year, our daughter made her way over to her friend Carol's house. Carol lives in the neighborhood, and the two of them played board games, colored in new coloring books (my favorite is Megan's, called "Unicorns are Jerks") and ate fruit snacks. Sometimes I got the feeling Megan would rather spend time with Carol than me. That's normal for a 14-year-old, right? But see, Carol is older than me.

Carol and Megan's relationship began because Carol is a gifted musician who graciously agreed to teach Megan guitar. After awhile, she started inviting our girl over to play outside of lessons. At first, I thought, "I hope Megan isn't a bother," and, "I can't believe she wants to give up her free time to spend time with my teenager!" But I have come to see that Carol is simply a woman who loves well. She loves our daughter, and enjoys spending time with her, and that is precious to me.

Reflecting on this, one night I asked some women who were over for dinner if they had a "Carol" in their lives growing up. What followed was stories of grandmothers, aunts, neighbors, family friends, Sunday school teachers - women who chose to invest in us for the simple reason that they loved Jesus and loved us.

My “Carol” was a woman named Marsha. She was our high school Sunday School teacher. In her job as manager of a women’s clothing store, she intentionally hired people who did not know Jesus so she could share with them. When I came to her with issues, she showed me how to take them to Jesus. She asked me about my relationship with God, and shared hers with me. She showed me what it looked like to be a woman who walks with Him.
These women transformed us, through teaching us life skills, being silly with us, praying with us, modeling a love for Jesus, building us up. They invested in us wholeheartedly.
​
Carol convicts me. She says she adores Megan and absolutely delights in spending time with her, but I know that it is an investment of her time, a sacrificial pouring out. She makes me want to look around and ask, "Who is God calling me to build up? Where could I invest more?"

Recently, I've had the opportunity to begin pouring in to the lives of a few young leaders in our church. I am amazed not only at how open and trusting they are, but also how encouraged and energized I am after spending time with them. It's a joy to pray for them regularly and learn specific ways I can help them in their journeys. We've talked about everything from leading well to dating, from the lies we believe to how we hope God will use us. I'm excited to see what He will do in them in the next few years, and that I will hopefully be able to witness and participate in it. 

One of my favorite verses as a young leader was Hebrews 13:7, "Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith." Wherever we are in our walk with God, we can ask Him who in our lives He wants us to disciple. We can all be a "Carol" to someone - a person who invests wholeheartedly into the life of another, loving and leading them on their journey. 

​Gina Butz has served in full time ministry for over 20 years. She and her husband planned to spend three or four of those years overseas, but stayed for 13 instead. They are currently raising two third culture kids and an imported dog in the exotic land of Orlando, Florida, where they serve in global leadership for Cru. She blogs about being wholehearted at www.ginabutz.com and you can follow her on twitter @gina_butz