I saw at my computer in the basement that chilly Sunday evening in North Dakota pounding out a long email to my sister that could rival War and Peace. A missionary had visited our church and shared with us what the Lord was doing in the country where he and his family served. It touched a deep place in my heart, as I was preparing to leave for the mission field in a few months.
I was overflowing with excitement! In my mind’s eye I could see an amazing work of God: a revival, an awakening, a New Testament church arising to power and victory in Jesus and the Kingdom of God advanced with authority!
The passion of this vision surged through me as I sorted through my belongings; deciding what could fit into my limited luggage and what would have to stay behind or be given away. It wasn’t easy – but that vision in my heart enabled me to make the hard choices. And I embarked on a journey that looks nothing like what it did that wintery night in North Dakota.
When ministry doesn’t go the way we plan
This August will mark my 10th year anniversary on the mission field. And I can say with full assurance that nothing – literally nothing – has gone as I dreamed it would. Why, then, does God give us these visions and dreams, if He knows they will not come about as we thought?
As I look back on that night 10 years ago, and recall those dreams and ambitions, I can’t help but chuckle a bit. They were immature and filled with deadly pride. During my time here, I have struggled to hang on my those selfish dreams, been forced to let them go, cried tears of loss and disappointment, considered myself a miserable failure, and come to peace with the fact that I cannot - must not - live. It must be Christ who lives in me – and He must work through me. And the joy of death, the sweet aroma of that sacrifice, is worth the loss. Because in dying we live, and in being destitute of self we are rich in Him.
This is when ministry truly becomes ministry!
Rosilind is an American girl married to a Bosnian guy who lives in a small village just outside of Zagreb. They have two crazy boys 3 and under who are as opposite as boys can be. When Rosilind isn't writing, she is dreaming up recipes and searching for ways to organize her home better. You can find her at A Little R & R where she writes about missions, marriage and family, toddler activities, and her recipes. You will also find her onFacebook, Twitter and Pinterest.
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