Not About Me November {Day 15}

Promoting is Not About Me

Why is it so easy to keep desires hidden. Sometimes it seems sharing hopes and dreams brings on a feeling of being exposed. But in order for me to brag on God today and talk about how it's not about me, I have to share. So here I go, cautiously bearing my heart. Vulnerable and scared.

Perhaps it would be easiest for me to step into this scary place by sharing what my prayer time with the Lord was like the other day. 

"Lord, here's my heart, align it to Yours as You please. My blog, I get to brag on You and encourage others in the truth of Your Word. Thank You. I love it. And it helps people know about Beholding Him Becoming Missional-which I believe helps people know and walk with You and make You known. I want to be a voice declaring Your greatness. Be part of  making You famous. So Lord, I really desire for it to be visited often. Is that ok? I want to put You on display and play the background, setting the stage. 

I know You don't need me, or anyone, to make You famous, but Lord I want to promote You. I want people to see You. Please let me. Is that weird? To ask You to do something only You can do, promote Yourself. So why not just do it Yourself Lord, instead of using someone who will probably mess up? I know it's not because I'm so great or anyone else. It's not because anyone earns it or deserves it. Our resumes are splattered with sin. But it's because You like to show Yourself great through the not-so-great. It's like You say, "Look what I can do, I can make top-notch wine with stinky foot cleaning water."

So Lord, I have 2 feelings. Excitement that You can and want to use me, a stinky foot cleaning vessel to show Yourself to be Greater. But also sadness, wishing I could give You something without You giving it to Yourself through me. Because You are so worthy. 

And Lord of course! You would say, "Giving to myself is what I'm worth. What I give myself through you is greater than anything you could give me apart from me."  

Yes Lord! Remove my arrogance. Help me see and feel in line with reality, with what's true. I want to want to give you what Your worth... " 

Again my small view of God exposed. So here's a tangible reminder of how big God is. This creation of His, spoke into being. If this vastness is mind-blowing, how much more incredible the Maker of it all?! Oh Lord, Your vastness keeps me running after You.

The Lord doesn't need us. But He chooses to let us be part of His production to show how Great He really is. He doesn't need us to play the background/set the stage for Him anymore than He needed those dirty foot washing vessels at the wedding. But, willing we are. Getting to make Him famous. The imperfect putting on display the perfect.

Just in case you just can't stand rap...

I could play the background
I could play the background
Cause I know sometimes I get in the way
So won't You take the lead, lead, lead?
So won't You take the lead, lead, lead?
And I could play the background, background
And you could take the lead

[Verse 1:]
It's evident you run the show, so let me back down
You take the leading role, and I'll play the background
I know I miss my cues, know I forget my lines
I'm sticking to your script, and I'm reading all your signs
I don't need my name in lights, I don't need a starring role
Why gain the whole wide world, If I'm just going lose my soul
And my ways ain't purified, don't live according to Your Word
I can't endure this life without Your wisdom being heard
So word to every dance, a foe, a pop star
'Cause we all play the background, but mine's a rockstar
Yeah, so if you need me I'll be stage right
Praying the whole world will start embracing stage fright
So let me fall back, stop giving my suggestions
'Cause when I follow my obsessions, I end up confessing
That I'm not that impressive, matter of fact
I'm who I are, a trail of stardust leading to the superstar

[Verse 2:]
I had a dream that I was captain of my soul
I was master of my fate, lost control. and then I sank
So I don't want to take the lead, 'cause I'm prone to make mistakes
All the folks who follow me, going end up in the wrong place
So let me just shadow you, let me trace your lines
Matter of fact, just take my pen, here, you create my rhymes
'Cause if I do this by myself, I'm scared that I'll succeed
And no longer trust in you, 'cause I only trust in me
And see, that's how you end up headed to destruction
Paving a road to nowhere, pour your life out for nothing
You pulled my card, I'm bluffing, You know what's in my hand
Me, I'm just going to trust you, You cause the dice to land
I'm in control of nothing, follow you at any cost
Some call it sovereign will, all I know is you the boss
Man, I'm so at ease, I'm so content
I'll play the background, like it's an instrument

[Bridge:]
I know I'm safest when I'm in Your will, and trust Your Word
I know I'm dangerous when I trust myself, my vision blurred
And I ain't got no time to play life's foolish games
Got plenty aims, but do they really Glorify Your name
And it's a shame, the way I want to do these things for You
Don't even cling to you, take time to sit and gleam from You
Seems You were patient in my ignorance
If ignorance is bliss, it's 'cause she never heard of this

And as much as I long to promote Jesus and make Him famous, His desire for the same with always be much greater. There is nothing I can give the Lord for all comes from Him through Him and to Him. All for the display of His heart and character. But the joy of talking about how great He is! It's just so not about me and all about Him.

So Lord, will You increase traffic to my blog for the display of Your Greatness. From You, through You and to You. And Lord, the Bible study on 2nd Samuel I am writing, will You do the same.  Will you provide a publisher, make Your name, Your character known more through it. Can I play the background for You? Can I be a part of making You famous, a part of promoting Your incredible-ness? Here am I, willing. Willing to receive a yes or no. All for Your glory Lord.

Only 2 more days of It's Not About Me November. It's kinda sad really. I am absolutely loving this! Lord, thank You for the transformation You've been doing in my mind and heart through this. Lord, continue to shape us to think how You think and see how You see. Let us forever be people who know and live life as though it's Not About Me.
Matter is not about me {Day 14}
Luxury or Poverty, it's just not about me {Day 13)
The Mission is not about me {Day 12}
God Showing His Greatness is not about me {Day 11}
Rawness is not about me {Day 10}
Family is not about me {Day 9}
Mess is not about me {Day 8}
My Identity is not about me {Day 7}
Technology is not about me {Day 6}
My Curiosity is not about me {Day 5}
My emotions are not about me {Day 4}
My reputation is not about me {Day 3}
What I know is not about me {Day 2} 
My ministry is not about me{Day 1}

If you're participating in the Not About Me November Challenge, link up your post for the day and tweet with #NotAboutMeNovember hashtag.  

In my journey to one thousand gifts with the incredible Ann Voskamp.#274 Challenges, like being vulnerable with my desires for the purpose of showing the Lord to be the One who Promotes Himself.
#275 A great new little coffee shop I found that reminds me of bloom cafe in Cambodia.
#276 The railroad museum we got to take the kiddos to this morning
#277 Rachel, a sweet girl I disciple who gave up a ticket to a concert to watch our kids for free. Amazing girl!
#278 New Hope publishers that is concerned about the mission of God and displaying His heart and character. And partners with helping victims of sexual exploitation. Amazes me.
#279 My mom and the 1,000 things about her that I love. 
#280 Anticipation of what the Lord is going to do with this blog and upcoming Bible study.


I'm linking up with A Holy Experience, A Pause on the Path, The Beauty in His Grip, Nebraska Graceful, The Wellspring