Mixed

Sometimes it is interesting how you can  have such mixed emotions at the same time. Over the last year (maybe 2) God has really been shaping my heart to be more passionate for His glory. He has opened my eyes to the reality that we exist to glorify Him. Really, not just words. And that means to display Him, to make Him known. And that cant happen unless we know Him.

As a result of that I have longed for His return more than I ever thought possible. I want to see all of Him revealed. I want His character to be seen and known. And it seems like here in my country, we dont see Him or know Him as judge or as King. It seems there is an absence of His justice (I dont mean social justice, I mean real standing up for truth and punishing evil justice.) I want to know Him more, even the parts that are uncomfortable. I want to see Him bring evil to justice. (I think that is where my not so secret desire to be a spy comes from... well, that and my favorite but not airing anymore show, Alias.)

But in Rev. 19 when He comes riding "with justice he judges and makes war. His eyes are like blazing fire, and on his head are many crowns. He has a name written on him, that no one knowns but he himself. He is dressed in a robe dipped in blood, and his name is the Word of God. The armies of heaven were following him, riding on white horses and dressed in fine linen, white and clean. Coming out of his mouth is a sharp sword with which to strike down the nations. He will rulde them with an iron scepter. he treads the winepress of the fure of the wrath of God Almighty. On his robe and on his thigh he has this name written: KING OF KINGS AND LORD OF LORDS." I know I will be riding with Him (good thing I have 18 years of riding horses.  :) But riding bareback... you dont stay so clean and white... so that will be cool.) This verse is pretty 'no holding back'. God will reveal Himself as these things and all of us will be so incredibly grateful. Because we will care more about His glory being revealed than about the pain and uncomfort of those who denied Him. How harsh this sounds...  But that is the reality and we will see and feel and know it as reality. (This reminds me so much of Moses and Aaron.. caring about the Israelites but didnt value thier pain above letting God do His thing.)

Before this happens, a bunch of hard stuff is going to happen all over the world right. The tribulation. And part of that whole deal is that 1/4 of the earth will go hungry. And that just stinks. I understand that. I have a son who it seems like he is going hungry b/c he eats but is not gaining weight. It stinks. I cant imagine not being able to feed my kids. I cant imagine the discouragement and despair... hopelessness you would feel.

I just read a headline that was talking about how hunger is going to increase because of the economic crisis. I know it will and it will be devestating. And I know it breaks God's heart as it does mine... more than it does mine. Things are not functioning in the way He desires- we chose life apart from Him... which is ultimately not life but death. And we reap the consequences. But God will redeem, He will restore the years the locusts eat.

These two desires I have... people to not go hungry and for God to reveal Himself as He says He will by bringing the tribulation... seem at odds with each other. I know they are not because God desires them more than I do. But He sees them perfectly. Oh Lord, help me to see like You do. Help me to value time the way You do. That I would have an eternal perspective and wouldnt think and believe as though the time on this earth is the only thing that matters. Help me trust that You promise to redeem and restore. That when You come, You bring a kingdom where there will be no hunger and no pain and no crying and no injustice. Oh Lord Jesus, come.