Longing Just to Bring

Here I am to worship, here I am to bow down, longing just to bring something that's of worth...
This my desire.

But what can I bring?

This week I made a bad judgement call and ended up loosing us $500 (booking the wrong hotel rooms), got angry at some guy I don't even know on facebook (for calling my husband names) and publically said rude things to him and then tried to justify it in my heart, and didn't speak up for myself in a situation I should have.

What can I bring? All I have and am is tainted by the flesh.
Longing just to bring, something that's of worth, that will bless His heart...
Something more than a song, something He desires...  What can I bring?

I come with my Myrrh.
A small scraggly tree with flowers that only bloom as they remain connected to the branch. Mhyrr, nothing great in and of itself but when put to the ax and the fire it has great value. An entire page full of benefits, including guarding against fever, food poisoning, cough & cold, mumps, measles, pox and infections on wounds, stimulating the mind, blood circulation, digestion and nerves.

But it's most notable use is for embalming, preserving the dead. The wise man presented Jesus as an infant the embalming ointment symbolizing He was to die for the world.

But isnt that what I want? To be a living sacrifice? A servant of the Almighty, yet daughter of the King dead to myself and alive to Him? And as Jesus died for the world, you and I die to the world. Laying down our life to take up His.

This is what He desires. To take frailty and imperfect and refine it, to redeem it, to make it into the aroma of Christ. He doesn't want my self-made perfection. He wants Mhyrr. He wants our imperfections, our inadequacies and failures laid at His feet, following the example of the wise men. 

Something that has nothing of worth, but once it runs through His fingers it becomes something of great worth.  

I have nothing in an of myself to bring. Nothing that is fit for a King.
But what I do have, through the embarrassment and sadness I bring my failures and insecurities.

He sets them to the ax and the flame and makes a beautiful offering to Himself, bringing redemption, bringing healing. I havent seen fully how. But I trust His Word. That He knows I am but dust and asks me to come.

So here I am laying all of me at the foot of the cross. Waiting for my tainted scraggly tree to be turned into something of worth.

This is my desire.