I Want to Yearn

Ya know that feeling when you totally think you're right. Like deep down, you just know it in your core that you're right. Then it turns out your actually wrong. I hate that. 

I wish a had a great story to tell you vulnerably bearing my soul with how I was so wrong, but I can't think of one. Now doesn't that sound arrogant. Oh my. But maybe they've been just so traumatic I can't recall because I've suppressed the memories. ;) Well, ok. Since apparently my brain function is on LOW, let's move on.

Oh wait! I have one. Remember that cute little family picture the other day? Kinda like the top picture. Yeah, well I dragged and pulled Austin to do that, trying to convince him our kids were going to do great. They were older and would do much better than the last time we had a photo shoot. And after all these pictures were going to be cherished forever. Well, Uriah was a grump most of the time and Asher was spastic-out of control. And we ended up leaving because Asher fell and was dripping blood everywhere. Not great for pictures really. Yeah, Austin was right. We tried to squeeze too much in.

I love how the Lord knows our hearts, our motives and intents so well. And I love that coupled with that is that He takes action. I love that He is not passive. What a bummer it would be if He knew our hearts motives but was powerless to intervene when they were not in line with His.

In Mark 6 the people just saw Jesus feed 5,000 men, so that could be 20,000 people and it finally clicks that Jesus is God. How exciting, they get it! Jesus is God! But just like we so often do, they added their own assumption on to the truth. "Jesus, knowing that they intended to come and make him king by force, withdrew again to a mountain by himself." John 6:15 The intent of their hearts were to come and take Jesus and make Him King. Not God's idea/plan. 

But Jesus takes initiative and acts to do what is right. 
That is so comforting to me. I make a lot of unintentional mistakes. But to know that if I am stepping outside of God's will, not in rebellion but just because I'm a flawed person, God's got my back. His plans wont be thwarted. He wont let me mess up the beautiful masterpiece He is creating. I can't mess it up so bad that God gives up and says, "Well, there you go Laura. You just blew it for everyone. I give up." Nope. Instead He says, "My grace is sufficient." How beautiful!

So what does Jesus do when they intend to make Him king? "Immediately Jesus made his disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to Bethsaida,while he dismissed the crowd. After leaving them, he went up on a mountainside to pray." Mark 6:45-46 

He prayed. There was 20,000 reasons he "couldn't" pray. But He dismissed them all and sent them away. He did what needed to be done in order for Him to get alone with the Father. It begs the question, When I foresee a problem/issue am I that quick to withdraw to spend time with the Lord talking about it? Do I take the necessary actions to get alone with God? 

Jesus prays. But not just "I'm praying all day, throughout the day" type of distracted prayer. He gets alone, un-distracted and he prays for hours upon hours at the expense of sleep. He started praying after dinner, after He fed the 5,000 men. And then, "When evening came, the boat was in the middle of the lake, and he was alone on land. He saw the disciples straining at the oars, because the wind was against them. About the fourth watch of the night he went out to them." Mark 6:47-48 Jesus prayed from after dinner to shortly before dawn. He even saw He was needed, He saw the disciples struggling with the oars because of the coming storm but He kept praying. This begs the question, What do I let interrupt my alone time with the Lord? What keeps me from having extended time alone with the Lord? 

What a convicting few verses huh. But I guess that's what happen when you see God in the flesh, you see yourself as you really are, desperate, in need of a Savior. Good thing God is making more and more like Him everyday and wont give up the work is complete in heaven. Good thing that though outwardly we are wasting away, inwardly we are being renewed day by day. Good thing God's grace is sufficient for us so much so that we can boast about our weaknesses because when we are weak, He is strong! 

Oh Lord, give us hearts to pray like You have. Give us endurance, perspective, perseverance and desire to do what it takes to get alone with You. And Lord please help us not settle for measly minutes. Give us hearts willing to make sacrifices in our schedule to be with You, even if it's sleep. Oh Lord, we can do nothing apart from You but with You all things are possible. Cause us to yearn for You Lord.

PS You've probably noticed some changes around here. I have something fun in the works that I'll let you know about soon. 

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