Doubting His Goodness

Today I am honored to have Julie from Journey to Beloved share her passionate heart for the Lord.

There are some things that I don't share,
some hurts too painful,
some wounds too deep.
Though Jesus is bringing me healing, there are days when just a light brush of my bandaged wounds causes me to flinch, a reminder that some things are still too tender.
While on my journey to heal and discover the true heart of the Lord Jesus I must admit, 
I've questioned His goodness.

I've questioned His nature when I look back at the pain I've walked through.

I've looked at His creation in all its realness (Myself and others.) and I have doubted His character.
 "If You are good then why would You allow your creation to hurt, kill, abuse, reject and destroy each other?" 

In my questioning I've been prone to take my eyes of His nature and worship a god I've created in my own mind.
A god who is flawed, makes bad decisions, a god who 
I've kicked off His throne for his failure to me.
Instead I put myself, my finite mind on the throne-
and I create my own personal Jesus.
The thing about His throne is, it will not remain empty.
Either He is on it or someone or something else is.
Every religion in this world starts with someone who takes God off of His throne
and worships another-
money, sex, power, knowledge, other gods, your own works of goodness, the possibilities are endless. 

The crisis here is one of identity- I forget that I am God's precious child,
I do not know who my enemy is.
I lose sight of who God really is, therefore I judge God's character based on my own experience.
Some of us have even made a choice to reject God because of those experiences and our belief that He is not good,  
but if truth be told, we've rejected a god who isn't even real,
we haven't rejected the One True God,
we don't even know Him.

God is good.
Simple concept.
But there are days when I have not held on to that truth when the world throws dirt in my face, when my prayers may seem unanswered and God seems distant-when I am rejected and judged by those who I thought were my friends or family.

Can I be real with you for a moment?

I've been in very dark places when I've taken my eyes off of Jesus and looked at those Christians who have hurt me and I've thought, If it were not for the saving grace of the blood of Jesus I would join Ghandi in his statement, " I would be a Christian if it were not for Christians."

But Jesus reminds me, through His Words of Truth,
If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! Matthew 7:11
The truth is that the Creator of all things wants good things for us.

How may times have I agreed with the demonic whispers that speak into my ear, "God failed you."
Child of God, we are not wrestling with flesh and blood.
We are not wrestling with a hurtful family member or hateful coworker.
Our enemy is roaming to and fro, across the earth seeking whom He may devour. Our enemy wants to chew us up and spit us out.  
He will use every circumstance, every opportunity to have us doubt the goodness of God.

I must remember to look up to our Redeemer and our Savior, the true Lord Jesus Christ, not out or within.
Put blame where it belongs-on an enemy that distorts truth, that blinds our eyes,
that convinces others to treat us poorly.  
Your enemy does not have flesh.
Stand in the truth sweet, broken one, that God is good and that you are a treasure of great price.
That He wants good for you, He adores you, He hears your cry.
You are His beloved.
 He weeps with you,
He fights for you,

He will not stop  from pursuing your heart with His unfailing love and radical grace.
Not until your last dying breath.
He stands at the door and knocks.
Its your choice if you answer Love's call.
He is good.
He loves you.
Absolute. Truth.

This post was a collaboration of truths, words and thoughts between me and my dear truth telling friend Andrea Rynberk who I am so grateful for. We all need truth telling friends in our lives.

My name is Julie but to Jesus, I am His beloved-
Fought for, loved unconditionally, pursued by His grace,
Redeemed and Priceless...and so are you!

Journey to Beloved is in the Circle of Moms Top 25 Blogs Contest. Will you head on over to vote for it?

Will you join me in a LINK UP tomorrow for Brag on God Friday's?
Just link up your stories of how God has shown Himself to be good or any of His other attributes and include a link or my button within your post.