A Glimpse of Accountability

Do you know what you are capable of? I mean really, has God ever given you a glimpse of how far you can really fall?

No matter how long we have been Christians, and no matter where we have come from or what positions the Lord has given us, we truly are desperate for the Lord’s empowerment. Why?  Because we are far worse than we ever dared imagine.

There is nothing you and I are not capable of doing. Murder and adultery seem like the “biggies” in our culture.  So let’s use those as an example.  In Matthew 5:21,27-28, Jesus addresses these “biggies” as well.

“You have heard that our ancestors were told, ‘You must not murder. If you commit murder, you are subject to judgment.’  But I say, if you are even angry with someone, you are subject to judgment… You have heard the commandment that says, ‘You must not commit adultery.’  But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

The root of anger and lust are already in our hearts and given enough time and exposure to temptation, we would walk it out to the degree of committing adultery and murder.  This is what we truly are capable of.  If we live our lives as though we aren’t that bad and would never do anything “that bad,” then why would we live dependant on God’s strength instead of our own?  Why would we need Him, if we had it covered ourselves?

Not only are we in desperate need of Him because we are capable of doing what we never thought possible but also because we can’t do anything of eternal value apart from Him.  We can’t conjure up great motives, unconditional love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control apart from the Holy Spirit.

We not only need the Holy Spirit to enable us, we need others to walk along side of us. When we connect deeply with other believers, it helps us grow, brings health emotionally and mentally, reminds us of what's true, helps us not loose perpsective and a ton of other great things.

Meet my accountability ladies
(And their husbands)

On the left, Rhonda (and her husband Jesse), Erin (& Nate) and Austin and I

Accountability, in simplest terms, is answering the hard questions.  It's opening your life to a few carefully selected, trusted, loyal confidants who speak the truth – who you give the right to examine, to question, to appraise, and to give counsel. 

God tells us through James to "...confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, so that you may be healed." (5:16) 

The result of accountabiity, healing. I can totally understand that. When I admit my failure it reminds me  that I am not sufficient but that God's grace is. It reminds me to cling to the cross. When I hear the failure of my sweet friends, it reminds me that all are desperately dependant on the Lord's grace. We can walk in failure to be perfect together. After all "a righteous man falls seven times and rises again." Prov. 24:16


Here are four qualities that are helpful for accountability relationships.
•Vulnerability – a willingness to put self out there and being capable of being wounded.
•Teachability – a willingness to learn, and open to counsel. An ability to listen well is also a part of this.
•Honesty – committed to the truth regardless of how much it hurts, a willingness to admit the truth no matter how difficult or humiliating the admission may be. 

All of these qualites are rooted in humilty. Accountability requires being real about who we really are. It requires submitting ourselves first of all to God and then to others trustworthy.

Other Advantages

When we are regularly accountable, we’re less likely to fall into a trap. (Prov.13:10,14,18,20; 15:31-33)
When we are regularly accountable, we’re more likely to see the whole picture (Prov.27:17,19)
When we are regularly accountable, we are not likely to get away with unwise actions. (Prov.27:6). 

Where are you at?

Can you name one or more people outside your family to whom you have made yourself regularly accountable? Are you aware of the dangers of not having accountability? When was the last time you gave an account for the “private areas” of your life to someone outside your family?

I prayed for a long time for God to provide some ladies I could be accountable to. Turns out they have been around for quite awhile, I just didn't think to ask them. Good thing God is good at answering when we ask.

Ask God to provide an accountability partner for you. And when He brings someone to mind, take the initative to ask them.

In case you're wondering

You may be wondering what exactly you do in an accountability relationship. Here is what we have fleshed out just as an example. Each of us came up with some questions we are to answer for ourselves each week. We all have different questions, but here are some of them. Each of us lives in a different city, so we use facebook to connect every week.

* Have I connected with God everyday this week?
* Did I take initative to share the Gospel this week?
* Are there ways I've dishonored or disrespected my husband this week?
* Have I been fully engaged with my family with the time I have with them?
* How have I done submitting my shame to Jesus this week?
* Have I been motivated by my love for Christ and a desire to glorify him?
* Have I challenged myself to do something that will promote my growth in the areas God has gifted me?
* Have any other issues come up this week?

Laura, the creator and host of Missional Women is married and has four kids, two of whom are adopted. Laura and her husband have been missionaries to college students for 11 years serving with Master Plan Ministries. Laura is the Staff Women's Development Coordinator and has discipled over 150 girls, led over 30 Bible studies and speaks 10-20 times a year. Laura is an award winning author of a 12 week Bible Study on First Samuel, Beholding Him, Becoming Missional, recently released Reach; How to Use Your Social Media Influence for the Glory of God, and A Devotional Journey through Judges, a devotional to accompany the free online Bible study at TheBookofJudges.com. You can find her on facebook,twitter, pinterest and youtube.

---