Have you ever been discipled or mentored by a lady? I was trained/coached on how to do college ministry by the President of Master Plan and that was a great privilege. But there is just something different about learning from the godly wisdom of other ladies. I asked I think 3 different ladies during my college years but it just never worked out. So I am not sure if it was a result of that or what but I kinda just had this arrogant mentality that not many people really loved Jesus passionately like I did. I assumed if a lady was older then Jesus was just one of the things in her life, not her life. Oh my arrogant pride!
Austin and I are in transition right now. We pulled back from college ministry for a couple months to raise support (it's been 5 years and we've had 3 kids since then, so it's about it). The transition is not easy and pain has a way of driving you to your knees. Ministry and alone/writing time refreshes me. It enables me to be all in for my kids instead of a lady yearning to get a few minutes alone. But that time is not going to be possible during these next few months. Instead I will spend 12 hours a day with my incredible, love them dearly but super exhausting kiddos and that drives me to my knees in desperation for God's grace. This new season has driven me to ask questions of ladies who have been where I am at. Ladies who are in ministry, love ministry, are not kid people and have survived the preschool years. And God pretty much put some ladies in my face, so I asked. I was overwhelmed with their encouragement and wisdom. How is it that I have never asked!? For so many years I have missed out on gaining from the wisdom of the ladies right around me because of my assumptions.
This hit me today, "Whoever isolates himself seeks his own desire... A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion."(Proverbs 18:1-2) By not seeking, by drawing out and trying to understand other women I isolated myself for many years.
Not seeking to understand leads to isolation which leads to pursuing self and only delighting in revealing our own mind. Ouch!
Using questions helped me push back against my assumptions of other women. My pride and guilt inducing assumptions that they thought they had it all together and thought they knew it all. My assumptions that they were super mom and super wife. My assumptions they didn't love Jesus like I did. My assumptions that everyone loved every second of being a mom and that everyone cleaned their house and didn't have help.Through asking women questions the Lord broke down my misconceptions and encouraged me and comforted me. I have learned that when that tinge of jealousy, arrogance, comparison or assumption comes, kill it with questions. Kill it with sincere question smack in the face of what I'm thinking. Offer push back and see what's there because it's probably something beautiful.
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