Adoption Vs. Biological {Dispelling Myths}

So Austin and I have two boys who are adopted and a little girl who is not. I think there is probably a question in a lot of peoples mind, "Do you love your biological child more?" So, thought I would take just a minute to share.

Can you really love an adopted child as much as a biological one?

Before we had kids I heard many women say after birth you just have this sweeping love feeling where you think you just can't love anything else more. I wondered if that would be true even if I wasn't the one giving birth.

Asher has an incredible birth story (actually they all do). I was told I had unexplained infertility. And in my mind it was worse than being told we couldn't have children at all because I didn't know if it was possible to have kids. And there is no way to fix something when you don't know what to fix. So there was this weird lack of hope of being fixed but sliver of hope that it was possible. Strange feeling combination. So we started praying. I mean really, taking our heart before God, not holding back for fear He would let me down kind of praying. 

After 2 years, God brought Asher into our life through adoption. It seriously is the coolest adoption story I have ever heard. (If you've got a minute, click awesome adoption story and scroll way down till you see cute little Asher's face.) I wish I had all day to tell you. When he was born I was in the hospital room and I loved him but I was more terrified. I actually thought if his head fell his neck would break. I was a terrified first time mom. I worried more than I actually thought possible and totally understood overprotective moms. I kinda freaked out that I was going to be one, but then I didn't really care that much because the worry outweighed the fear of what people thought.

Anyway, I brought Asher home and I loved him and had a great affection for him. I was amazed at how God brought him into our family, but didn't know him. I wondered if biological moms knew their babies. You know, like that, "I know you, you did life with me for 9 months" type of thing. 

Uriah was born 13 months after Asher (they are biological brothers, how cool is that!) and since I didn't pray for 2 years for Uriah I didn't feel as connected at first. I had the same, "Who are you little guy?" feeling. Though I was excited to find out.

Then surprize, Eden. I am not sure what happened. Uh, well, I mean I know what happened, but I'm not sure how after 10 years of marriage we get pregnant. That was a whole story in itself, but to make it short, I was NOT excited (Just being real here. Story for another time I guess.) God did some heart changing in me and changed my mourning into joy before Eden burst onto scene. 

My awful pregnancy ended with an emergency c-section with the chord wrapped around Eden's neck 3 times and around her body. Without the c-section, the doctors say she wouldn't have survived. But there she was a healthy little girl. We took her home, laid her in her crib and had that same exact feeling/thought I had with the boys, "I don't know you. Who are you little girl?" And just like I didn't have the feeling of oushy-gushy love for the boys when they were born, I didn't have that feeling with Eden either. (Can you tell I am much more of a thinker than a feeler?)

I honestly don't have more of an affection for Eden over the boys. Isn't that crazy awesome! What a picture of God's love for us. When we admit our guilt before a sinless, perfect God and receive His forgiveness He adopts us. He loves us as His own. And I know it. No matter how a child comes to you, the love is the same. Eden is a girl, meaning she doesn't have to kill everything and be in constant motion and that's nice. But the boys and Eden are mine. God picked each of them for me. Graciously.  

And to be honest, hoping my kids don't ever read back this far in my blog 20 years from now, Uriah probably gives me the most enjoyment right now in life (when he's not throwing a 45 min. fit). I know there will be fazes where each one will be more enjoyable than the others. But I just share that to make it known that it truly is a lie to think that someone could never love an adopted child as much as a biological child.

Welp, that's it really. Here's another great read. Top 10 Reasons Adoption is Awesome. And obviously I am super open about this, so if you have questions, I am available to answer.

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