More Important than "I Do"

About 3 years ago, as I stepped out in faith to trust God to do full time ministry, I raised support and began working with and loving on college students. I adore my job. It gives me joy in so many ways. I remember telling Laura just a few weeks in how I felt like this was exactly what God created me for. 

At first, as I was raising support, people would ask what my long term plans were. They wanted to know if I was in it for the long haul. My response was always, “Well, as far as I’m concerned, I’m here forever but I don’t know what God has planned!”

To be honest, it was my cop-out answer. What I really wanted to say was, “If I stay single, then yes, but if I get married and my husband wants to do something else, then I’m out.” 

My desire to get married was stronger than my desire to please God. I was ready to bail on this beautiful ministry that God had given me just to get married.

I was ready to give up the eternal for the temporary. I was willing to disobey God just for my own desires.

That last sentence is painful to even type. My heart, deceitful above all things, had convinced me that it was totally okay to jump ship so long as I got what I wanted.

I thought that if a man entered my life that it would be a good enough reason to give up on God’s direction in my life. Pleasing God wasn’t enough for me if I couldn’t also get what I wanted.

My eternal view was so small. I couldn’t see past being single. I couldn’t imagine a life well lived would not include a husband. It didn’t seem worth it if I didn’t get married.

But God. God is so much bigger. God, seeing the end from the beginning, knew the plans He had for me. He loves me and blesses me even when I am undeserving of Him.

In His grace, He showed me heaven. Not in one of those weird I died and came back knowing the secrets of the world ways. But through His word. He reminded me that marriage is temporary. That no matter when or if I get married on earth, it will dissolve away in heaven. He reminded me of Mark 10 and the promise that no one who leaves their family will fail to be rewarded in heaven and how that included my non-existent family.

He showed me that my desires for love and intimacy can only be found in Him. And on the couch talking with my wonderful roommate, I finally realized that God was worth it.

Through tears it clicked. One second in the presence of God will make up for it all. {Tweet This} Hearing, “Well done, good and faithful servant,” became more important than, “I do.”

I’m not sure what things God is calling you to today. I’m not sure where he wants you to simply obey, or what things he may be asking you to give up or hold onto. But this I know- God is worth it. He is worth the hard and the messy, the things we don’t want to do and the excuses we want to make. And we’re in it together, friends. 

About Angi

Angi loves Jesus, coffee, baseball and baking cakes. She is a missionary to college students and can't think of anything she'd rather do to serve God. Angi first met the Lord while climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro in Tanzania, Africa but really understood His love and grace as a freshman in college. Her heart is to invest in college students in the same way that many others invested in her. You can find her blogging over at Stuff Angi Does where she tells stories about Jesus, college students, and life. You can also find her on facebook, twitter, pintrest and instagram.

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