Is it even possible to be a bridesmaid five times and a personal attendant three times as a single woman and not be completely embittered? At least I don’t have “27 Dresses,” but still… So many times I have gone to weddings where the bride and groom were ten years younger than me. I was excited for them, mostly, but in the depths of my heart I was asking questions. Will it ever be my turn? Am I abnormal? Will anyone ever find me attractive? Will holidays always be a struggle? Will I always feel on the outside looking in at other families? Will there ever be a guy who truly understands me and likes me for who I am? Is God displeased with me and holding out? Just thinking through these questions would have me in tears. For whatever reason, my “favorite” place to cry is in the car when I’m alone driving home from church. The truth of the matter is that I hate to cry, but when I am in the car alone and thinking, I seem unable to stop the overflow of tears. Tears are healing, right? Not always… My tears were from hurt, anger, despair, and bitterness. So many times I would release to God my status of singleness. I would tell Him that He was in control, that He was sovereign, and that His love for me was enough. Yet, a few weeks later, I would find out that one of my friends was having her second child at the age of twenty-five, and I would again bitterly ask God, “Why not me?” No matter what stage we’re at in life, there will always be unanswered questions. Ask the wife who has just had her third miscarriage or the mother of a hardened and rebellious teenager or the veteran missionary who just found out that she has stage-four cancer, if they have any questions for God. We will go through hardships in every stage of life. As a recently married woman, I now have different struggles. I must realize that life will never be perfect. My struggles keep me longing for another world. {Tweet this} God uses my pain for good, in my life and in the lives of others. Constantly, I need to remind myself to look at hardships through God’s eternal view instead of my temporal view point. Trusting God can be such a hard thing for me. Sadly, I’ve put God on trial so many times and judged Him to be powerless, unloving, and unjust. I have struggled to accept that God knows best, always. Please realize that God is not holding out on you because He is mad at you, doesn’t care, or because you screwed up and He is still trying to come up with “Plan B.” God cannot act outside of His love for you. {Tweet this} He loves you so completely. Psalm 103:8 says, “The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love.” If you need to be encouraged in God’s love for you just read Psalm 103. Let those verses wrap around you and fill you with comfort. The everlasting Lord desires to have a close, personal relationship with you. Ask God to forgive you for desiring your own way, trust that He truly knows best, accept His deep, abiding love for you, and daily seek to delight in Him! May you fall deeper and deeper in love with the God of the universe who loves you, pursues you, and is able to fill you with peace, joy, and purpose! About ShellyGrowing up with a strong Christian family, Shelly has had the privilege of having many godly, influential people in her life. Besides going to college in Indiana and teaching school for 1 year in Texas, she has lived in Minnesota her whole life. Recently, she moved to Colorado after meeting her husband on E-Harmony. She is extremely humbled by how the Almighty God works in our lives in such personal ways. Shelly is now a missionary to college students. She is thrilled with the opportunity to share the gospel with college students, to help them grow in their faith, and to encourage them to be sold out servants for God. She enjoys coffee, books, volleyball, bike rides, movies, long walks, and playing games. Sharing this article over at these awesome blogs.
5 Comments
2/28/2013 11:23:14 pm
The beginning lines of your post caught my eye, because of my daughter. She is 28, ...and may have just met someone. Thank you for your encouraging post!
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Shelly Akins
3/2/2013 06:40:29 am
Thanks for your reply, Esther! At times my mom struggled with the fact that I was single. I am so grateful that God used my circumstances to work in my mom's heart, also. Both of us needed to grow in trusting our sovereign, loving Heavenly Father! May God work in clear and amazing ways in your daughter's life!
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3/1/2013 02:57:52 am
A lot of our struggle with singleness is related to a church culture focused on marriage. It's mind blowing to remember that for 1,000 years, the church was focused on single people. Here are 7 things singles need from the church. http://www.chrismorton.info/2013/02/14/7-things-single-need-from-the-church-a-valentines-post/
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Shelly Akins
3/5/2013 07:11:37 am
Hi Chris,
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Tori
4/23/2013 12:53:55 am
It was like you were writing for me. I'm 33 and still single. There were so many times I had to deal with hurt, anger, and bitterness. Recently I've come to realize that if I had found someone years ago, I would not be the Godly wife I would need to be. I was not making God the center of my life. My relationship would have been in ruins. By being single today, I can be very involved in church and the youth group I volunteer in. I still long to be married and want the Godly man God has created for me. I still believe he's out there somewhere.
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