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 As I write this article, my husband and I are currently in a "tiffle." Ok, a big fight. I'm sulking in the corner of a local cafe with a big mug of coffee. That's ridiculous, isn't it? I flee from a marital issue and now you are supposed to read my thoughts on the subject? Ha! Oh, sweet Jesus help me. I really am not qualified to write this article. Don't ask my husband's opinion right now, he might agree... But even before this fight the Lord led my thinking to the reality that every decision we make, the patterns we set up, and the marriages we live... are all on display to the world. Even this fight I find myself in.  The truth is marriage can get ugly but it's one of the most public relationships we'll live out. It is God's intent to use our marriages to make us holy and glorify Himself. And that glory can be used to draw others near to Him. The dangerously humble and eternally significant thing about marriage is that everyone's watching how you do it. Believers, non-believers, family, friends, co-workers, other parents, your kids...you are on display and you can influence well or continue to pollute marriage's reputation. I love this: one time Jesus got a little crazy and bent down to wash his disciples feet. (That Jesus was always scandalizing people!) Feet washing was a job no one in their right mind wanted. In those times, foot-washing was reserved for the very lowest of servants. If you washed someone's feet and you weren't in a position of service, it was a great display of love. Feet-washing was a dirty job, a lowly job, and a very humble experience. Yet Jesus did it. And we are called as wives to love sacrifically as Jesus did and make Gospel-minded decisions for our husbands. I am called, no...required to wash my husband's big feet especially when he really makes me mad. Because the Lord is watching, because the world is watching. And because it makes much of God to be a servant. This marriage isn't about me. It's about His Glory. And it's about living out the Great Commission to one another and a broken world. To paint a picture of the gospel to anyone watching. Looks like I need to be willing to wash my feet as a ministry to my husband and my marriage's audience. I think I'll go call my husband now and see if he will forgive me...and yes, I would do that whether you were watching or not. :) If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another's feet. John 13:14  About Carly Carly is a husband-swooning, health-inspired, simplicity-loving, Jesus-follower. She and her hunky husband Ryan adventure wherever the Lord takes them and most recently that has been into the often scary world of chronic illness. Connect with Carly on her personal blog,Pinterest and at Reaching For Fringe, a resource for chronic illness and marriage. Very nice to meet you! Sharing this article over at these awesome blogs.
10 Comments
Sue Addington
3/4/2013 03:10:05 am
Married 35 years, I concur! Highs and lows are all on view. Along with washing our spouse's stinky feet comes another challenge. it is the balancing of our public displays of speaking of our spouse in an honoring way and being one who speaks with honesty about and to our spouse.
You're right Sue. It's a private and public relationship that challenges us deeply with its highs and lows. The last thing I often want to do is wash my husband's stinky feet (ha!) in times like these but there is long-term reward from the Lord; for myself, my marriage, future generations, and the world around me.
Richard Denny
3/4/2013 02:17:41 pm
Married 7 months, I concur! Love you two! Give Ryan my love. Great post Carly! Love the honesty and application! Our marriages really are one display for all the world to see. Its a picture of Christs love to the church, I wonder if our marriages accurately portray what God intended for them to? At least we know what our goal is!
Carly
3/6/2013 04:34:13 am
Vee that is a meaningful and legitimate question to challenge ourselves with: "Does my marriage accurately portray what intended it to?" 3/6/2013 05:15:06 am
This post reminds me of the idea behind the book Sacred Marriage: what if God intended for marriage to not make us happy, but to make us holy?
Kristen I have that book on my shelf but haven't gotten to it yet. I know it is one that as soon as I get to it will change my marriage and rock my world!
My husband and I live with my in-laws (his parents) and my brother-in-law (his brother) right now. Talk about audience! The pressure is on to live an even more godly life. Our arguments (we strive really hard not to make them so) but sometimes are very public...and everyone knows about it. It's hard because Adam and I have worked out ways to work through conflict, but my in-laws and my brother-in-law have very different ways of handling conflict. It feels like living under a microscope at times. Working to try to blend two different philosophies of life, love, marriage, conflict, communication, etc is hard enough between a husband and wife, but throw in the other family members we live with and it gets even more challenging.
Well said Hannah! There are many very close audiences that we are each stewarded to. Families, a work place, neighbors, friends, etc. It can be very hard to be responsible at times, but God makes us able! But dang can it be hard! Leave a Reply. |
