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A Valentine's Day Grinch

2/7/2013

10 Comments

 
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I admit it. I'm a Valentine's Day Grinch.

I don't like the commercialization of love or the marketing scam that says that you can somehow make up for months of relationship neglect by spending a big wad of money at Zale’s. I do like chocolate (dark), but the last thing I need is a huge box of it around my house. I'm no big fan of heart jewelry or stuffed animals or lacy lingerie or cut flowers that die and have to be thrown away in a few days. I really don't like doilies or ruffles... and I especially don't like PINK anything!

I'm not your typical "girly" girl ... and I have struggled with that much of my life.
Especially in my marriage, I have often felt pressure to squeeze into a mold that does not fit me. Thankfully, that pressure does not come from my husband - just the opposite (!) - but it does come from others who assume - and promote - that certain generalities and stereotypes are - or should be - true for all. Some of the pressure I have put on myself.

Some seem to believe that there exists a sort of all-inclusive pink, ruffled, girly way that make all woman feel loved... and some definite blue, rugged, manly ways for all men to love.

Similar to how Valentine's Day is sold as the perfect version of love for all:
boy buys sweet card and pink flowers + girl feels loved = happily ever after. ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

It's just not like that for everyone - and certainly not for me or my marriage. After many years, I've finally realized that it's ok not to fit into all the generalities and stereotypes. God has created me uniquely and perfectly the way I am. Pink ruffles and jewelry and heart shapes are truly GREAT love gifts for some... just not for all women... and definitely not for me.

I prefer to use 1st Corinthians 13 as my love model:

Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous;
love does not brag and is not arrogant,
does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own,
is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,
does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth;
bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails.


(1 Corinthians 13:4-8a NASB)

No lace or doilies or stuffed animals mentioned. :)

My husband has worked very hard for almost 30 years to love me this way - kind and not seeking his own interests first, patient and not arrogant, forgiving and believing the best... and I try to do the same for him. Now that speaks love to me!

Have you ever felt pressure to fit a stereotype or role that didn't work for you? 
What demonstrates true love to you?
How can you use your uniquely perfect self to show love to someone today?
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About Terry

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Terry desires to love, live and lead in HIS strength and grace - with HIS passion and compassion - reflecting HIS wisdom and hope to others… preferably with a strong, black cup of coffee in hand. She writes from her heart journey as a wife, mom, ministry leader, and daughter of the King. Find her on twitter or blogging at MaturitasCafe.com

Sharing this article over at these awesome blogs.
10 Comments
judy douglass link
2/8/2013 04:44:20 am

You sound just like me, Terry!! Love it.

Reply
Terry Morgan link
2/10/2013 10:32:48 am

We are soul-mates, aren't we, Judy?! Love it... love you!

Reply
Nantawan Bennett link
2/10/2013 06:52:03 pm

Happy Monday.
I'm your follower,
Visit from Inspire Me Monday Blog Hop,
Would be great if you can visit and link up.
Have a nice day.
Nan
www.blogshe.net

Reply
Terry Morgan link
2/11/2013 03:05:53 am

Thanks, Nan, for visiting! How fun it is to learn from each other!

Reply
Becca
2/10/2013 11:34:22 pm

Going off of the 5 Love Languages... Quality Time and Words of Affirmation are two ways I feel loved. I don't need the "girly girl" stuff for Valentine's Day, but if I can get some quality time and sweet words, I'll be a happy girl. :)
ahumblebumble.blogspot.com

Reply
Terry Morgan link
2/11/2013 03:07:21 am

I love that you mentioned the Love Languages! That can be very helpful for speaking "true love" to each other!

Reply
Godscharacter link
2/11/2013 08:44:11 am

I'm not a girly girl either and I DO NOT celebrate valentines in no way form or fashion. God is my example for love not valentine...love is not just to be expressed 1 or 2 days a year, it is to be shown always

Reply
Terry Morgan link
2/12/2013 06:10:00 am

So agree! God is our example of perfect love... and His love is expressed every day of the year! Thanks for your visit!

Reply
Paola Daly
2/13/2013 07:44:59 am

I like this article!! Today I wrote a text message to Keefe (who was on his way to Costco) saying, "do not get me flowers." I don't feel too bad now ;)

Reply
Terry Morgan link
2/13/2013 07:58:45 am

Hahaha! It is so easy to get "pressured" by the marketing! I am sure you are both learning how to love each other well! Love to you both!

Reply



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  • Home
    • Ministry Resources for Women >
      • Beholding Him Freebie
    • Contributors
    • Statement of Faith
  • Blog
    • Ministry >
      • Evangelism {Win}
      • Discipleship {Build}
      • Living Missionally {Send}
    • God's Word >
      • Bible Study
      • Prayer
      • Devotionals
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      • Marriage
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      • Social Justice Issues
      • Internet & Social Media
      • Politics
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      • Science Revealing God
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      • Food
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  • Bible Study Resources
  • Prints
  • Stickers
  • Quiet Time Journals
  • Courses
    • Discover God's Calling
    • Women's Ministry Training Promo
    • How to Study the Bible
    • Women's Ministry Training Course
    • Growing in Your Faith Mini Course
  • Retreat
  • Video Bible Studies
    • Matthew
    • John
    • Galatians
    • Philippians
    • Know your Purpose
    • Creation Reveals
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    • Heart Growth
  • You Are Unshaken Book
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