10 Reasons I Gave Up Dreaming

I was born a dreamer; staring as a child, starry-eyed out the window at night, peering into the heavens of “what could be”.

And maybe it was to escape the vice tightening in my world?  Maybe it was the hope of another reality of some fantasy worth living for?

But I soon learned; dreamers don't make dreams come true…God does.

Still, for a long while, I became a doer of my own purposes.  Reaching my twenties thinking money and ingenuity could make anything happen.  

But I was wrong.

"A" type personalities have their own problems.  Problems I soon discovered could defeat even the strongest dreamers among us.

So eventually, I experienced that hour of confessing, “I am weak”, handing God the paintbrush and letting Him create in me the kind of Missional Life He intended for me from the beginning of time.

Giving up my dreams, it was then I learned most....

1. His plans are not our own.  His thoughts are far above anything I could ever hope for. (Isaiah 55:8-9)
2. I don't have to defend the armor of my own throne.  I have no throne.  I am not God.  He alone has the power to lie down and take up.  And He can resurrect even the most defeated souls among us. (Psalms 47:8)
3. The clay shouldn’t tell the potter what to create.  How audacious of me to think I could influence God.  My hope was in surrendering and letting God mold my image. (Isaiah 45:9-12)
4. When we dream, it only hurts when we put conditions on how we see things.  Expectations often put a wrench in the fulfilment of God’s plans, creating unexpected roller coaster rides of disappointment. (1 John 2:3)
5. All in all, we must trust God is good.  When I didn't see God as good, I wasn't about to lay my life down willingly in the hands of someone else who just might hurt me.  As people we can be self-preserving, vengefully persistent on doing things our own way. But like a child, God wants us to trust Him. (Psalms 100:5)
6. I viewed God as man. I wasn't about to give a carnal man my hopes and my plans.  They were mine.  I wanted to do with them what I could.  But after a while I learned....I couldn't do a thing without Him.  I needed Him.  And in a battle with my egos...I had to give up this God as a man-image I was holding...confessing He is God. (Numbers 23:19)
7. His dreams are better than mine. Yes, I have lived life in the fantasy of unrealistic expectations, but missional living about the following, not the leading. (Jeremiah 29:11)
8. Scripture tells us He wants to give us more than we could ever ask for, dream, or image.  I had never thought that applied to me, until now. (Ephesians 3:20)
9. God uses us most when we are all out of us. And I am tired of wrestling with God.  Quite frankly tired of wrestling for my hopes, my dreams.  To be quiet honest, I have just given up.  I don't want to keep kicking against the goads.  I can finally admit I want what He wants. (Genesis 32:22-32)
10. It is when we are weak, He is strong.  I want to fearless confess my shortcoming, admit that I am nothing without Him become that blank slate that our perfect and heavenly Father can write upon.  Don't you? (2 Corinthians 12:9-11)

So, what if the missional life isn’t about “finding our purpose”, but laying down our wills so that He can uncover that God dream He has already placed in us?

About Jen

Though born, raised, and still living only miles from where she grew up, Jen's heart lies in the nations. Jen loves the beautiful tapestry found in the wide diversity of people, different cultures, and all nations.  Jen and her husband have been married twenty years, and have parented fifteen kids and counting; twelve foster, one adopted, and two bios.  Her multi-racial family reflects her passion for unity, desire for faith without walls, and missional mindset to share both the gospel and the power of redemption to a world desperately needing the hope found in Jesus Christ. Jen and her husband have led in a variety of ministries; including prayer, small groups, children's, and women’s.  Jen advocates for the orphan as a board member for the non-profit, A New Song; and loves doing missions work internationally, along with her family.  You can find Jen writing about faith, while challenging her readers at her blog, Rich Faith Rising, as well as at tweeting faith-filled messages @Jen_Avellaneda .  Jen is also on facebook.  

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