Why Comparing Yourself is so Dangerous

Comparing yourself to others is dangerous. Here’s why. 
Paul says in 2 Cor. 10:12 that when you play the comparison game you are guilty of pride.  “For we dare not class ourselves or compare ourselves with those who commend themselves. But they, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise.” 2 Cor. 10:12

You’re probably thinking, “Pride? But when I compare myself and find myself lacking, I don’t feel boastful at all – I feel depressed!”  It happens to me all the time. Like when I see: 
* another writer’s blog, e-book, or article get picked up  
*  another family’s well-behaved and well-spoken kids
* another mother’s pin-worthy outfit or well-styled hair

But here’s the tricky condition of our hearts: pride is born in the act of comparison not in the result. {Tweet this}

So even if you find yourself not measuring up, pride is still at play. Pride is what keeps you depressed for the rest of the day. Pride is what makes you harbor those yucky feelings of envy over successes or blessings received by friends.

A prideful heart commends itself. 
Comparing yourself is commending yourself. Here’s how it works: you are setting yourself up to feel better about yourself, your actions, or your accomplishments as based on something other than Christ.

Interestingly, this passage appears in the context of a rife-filled church. In chapters 8-9, Paul urges the Corinthians to collect an offering for the smaller and much poorer Macedonian churches. He is urging them to give out of generous and grateful hearts.

So, here is the key. Pride commends itself, but grateful and generous hearts commend others. {Tweet this} I want to have the kind of heart that is liberal with praise and encouragement. I want to have the kind of heart that takes joy in the divine blessings and successes experienced by friends. 

A prideful heart is unwise
In vs. 17-18, Paul reminds us that a prideful heart is also unwise. It makes the woman the measurer of accomplishment instead of the Lord. In our pride, we set ourselves up as our own authority.

And here’s the result of that unwise choice: whoever compares herself or commends herself will not be approved. “But ‘he who glories, let him glory in the Lord.’ For not he who commends himself is approved, but whom the Lord commends.” 2 Cor. 10:17-18

Ladies, let’s be women busy about the work of the gospel and not the work of our own hands! Let’s be women who “glory in the Lord” above all things and lead others to glory in him as well.

Do you struggle with comparing yourself to others? Does it make you feel depressed at the end of the day? Do you struggle with envy over blessings you wished you had? Take a moment and ask God to give you a generous and grateful heart. We have much to thankful for, namely our salvation in Jesus Christ, and the privileged role of leading others to his gracious blessings.

About Melissa

Melissa Deming is the creator of HiveResources.com–a site that helps women sweeten their walk with Christ through devotional articles, book reviews, and more. Melissa holds a Masters of Divinity in Women's Studies from Southeastern Baptist Theological Seminary, Wake Forest, N.C. She and her husband, Jonathan, have four-year-old twins, Zach and Jonah. They are part of the core team of a new church plant in Pittsburgh.

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