Stressed?

Divorce, abuse, joblessness, infertility, miscarriage, troubled relationships, financial problems… we all battle stress, however, is it possible to change the way we respond to it?  We have our natural responses to stress, but are there ways that God wants us to respond? 

I highly doubt that I am the only one who is dealing with ridiculous amounts of stress; which is making me increasingly aware that my natural responses are ungodly. So the question remains, “By submitting our responses to God in prayer are we able to overcome our unhealthy responses to stress?  Is it possible for the Lord to radically reshape the DNA of our hearts in how we respond?” If we want to become stronger warriors for Christ we must learn how to cope with stress in a Godly way.   I believe that the One who knit us together in our mother’s womb, the One who spun the planets into orbit and the One who gave His life for us so that we may experience the “abundant life” through our relationship with Him, not only can but He wants to. He wants us to experience His presence in all areas of our lives; even how we respond to stress. Let’s face it, if we’re making an impact on the Kingdom, the enemy is ready to make an impact on us, and that is cause for a lot of crazy circumstances in our lives. 

Consider Job, an upright and Godly man who could easily be considered the most patient man in Scripture with the exception of Jesus Himself. Job became a target for the enemy and while he endured for a while, his circumstances finally broke him and “stressed him out”. If stress could consume him, isn’t this something that we should take seriously and look into from a biblical perspective. How do we respond to these situations and use our responses for the glory of God?

First of all, we must identify the specific cause of the stress:
In honesty, discover the root of the stress. Acknowledge the source and bring it to God. He knows the deepest recesses of our hearts; why is it so intimidating for us to say it out loud? We cannot realistically take our stress to God until its source becomes real and tangible to us.

After we clear our hearts, pray for Him to give us His eyes in the specific situation. Write down what we are specifically bringing to God and wait for His response. Ask how He would want us to respond.

Acknowledge the things that we have absolutely NO CONTROL over – He holds them in the palm of His hand - you know.  Surrendering to His control is a huge step toward freedom from our control issues, because isn’t “feeling out of control” the trigger of our stress in the first place?

Sometimes He will change the circumstances but more often His desire is to change our heart through the circumstances as we continuously submit to His authority over our hearts and our reactions. {tweet this}

Secondly, we need to be honest with God and with ourselves about how we are responding to the stress.
Let me be transparent with you. My natural responses to stress are ugly and not in any way Godly.  I am a stress eater - I can gain weight like nobody’s business when life gets rough.  I also consider myself a stress head banger – meaning I feel the need to bang my head against the wall until the circumstances pass (not literally, it’s just tempting). Stress causes me to want to hermit (sleep until it passes) and sometimes even withdraw from life’s most precious relationships – even my children. 

The other week, when I was praying my ugly heart prayer, broken, frustrated and asking God “Why and how much longer?”  I was frustrated because these circumstances felt never ending.  I felt like I was missing months of my children’s childhood because my mind and my vision were so clouded by overwhelming circumstances.  When worry consumes us it makes it hard for us to enjoy the preciousness of life happening all around us.

Yes, Jesus says, “Do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow has enough troubles of its own”.  That is a fact.  That is a promise of God that, “He clothes the fields and feeds the birds, how much more will He take care of his own” (Matthew 6:25-34).  However, it is possible to “know” that, yet when we’re riding the faith roller coaster - there are good “faith” days and there are difficult “faith” days.

I know of a Pastor who lost his 6yr old son in a horrible playground accident.  One Sunday he mentioned how his heart still grieved the loss of his son, and a church member scolded him for his lack of faith. 

Friends it breaks my heart when brothers and sisters in Christ criticize one another, rather than holding each another up to the Lord in prayer.  We’re in this race together and faith is a daily battle!  The Lord promised us that our time on earth will be filled with trouble.  As brothers and sisters in Christ we are told to bear with one another and build each other up – never tear each other down.

The fact that we don’t have to fear is a promise, but it is a promise that we learn we can cling to as we walk with Him daily and experience His grace.  It happens on the roller coaster of faith that we finally learn we can truly trust His goodness.

After my long, repetitive ugly prayer is when He so graciously responded, I want you to surrender the way you handle stress to Me.  If you want to be strong for my Kingdom, if you want to be able to withstand the obstacles the enemy is throwing, and will throw, at you, you have to learn to cope My way. What I have planned for you will require you to understand what it means to totally depend on Me alone, not your ability to “fix” things. You must learn to trust, embrace, and lean upon ME!!

The thing is, I thought I was depending on Him fully.  These past 2 years it seems that my family has been learning how to literally “walk by faith and not by sight”.  When living by faith - life is completely out of our control (which is where it should be, isn’t it).  There’s a big difference, however, between walking by faith in contentment and walking by faith while holding on for dear life and praying this ride will be over soon.

Jesus wants us to run to Him, with everything, instead of scrambling to get circumstances back under our control – circumstances that are meant to be out of our control – Run to Him!

Instead of running to food - run to Me! On the treadmill while listening to worship music.

Instead of taking a nap to avoid the stress, hiding from life – run to Me, rest if it’s needed but not to escape reality.

Instead of avoiding household responsibilities - turn on a sermon podcast or worship music and clean while you spend time with Me.

Instead of being overwhelmed by your children – Be intentional, Fight it.  Fight with everything you have to see them in the moment. Run to your room and beg God to give you the strength to focus on them.  The Lord cherishes our honesty of heart in admitting our weaknesses and rewards it every time!

Instead of worrying, crying, panicking – refocus your attention on Me.  Look for My hand at work around you.  I am always with you.  I will never forsake you.  Seek me and you will find Me.  Run to ME!

Instead of running to a friend to vent or addictive things of this world to cope – Run to ME!  Be addicted to ME! Cry ugly tears to Me! Ask Me! Seek Me!  Don’t be afraid to fall on our faces, acknowledging how helpless we are, believing - remembering how capable He Is! 

“Sorrow may last for the night but Joy comes in the morning!”  That is a promise when we take our tears to Jesus, when we wrestle our hearts out with Him for the night – He brings new, HIS insight into our circumstances by Morning!  He does! A night spent in tears with Jesus is never a night wasted!

This, like all battles, is not something that we can conquer overnight, it is our nature to cope in our own strength – but God wants us to learn how to cope in His strength. No matter what things you may be running to in order to cope with your stress – He is patient with us!  Praise the Lord, He is abounding in grace as He graciously peels away layer after layer of our sinful flesh in the process of learning to follow Him with our coping.  Through constant submission we will learn how to allow His grace to prevail through life’s trials.

Stress is a fact of life, something with which we will always be in battle. The difference is whether we will choose to face it on our own or take it to God.  God is after His glory and I want God to receive all of the Glory from my life, even my greatest pain.  If I am constantly whining, complaining, and fussing with fear while following Him, how am I any different from the Israelites in the desert?

The most exciting thing about this process is –the way the Lord will teach us to respond will build within us a living, tangible example that will show others beautiful glimpses of the character of our God. We will be showing a world that is full of sorrow, pain and worry -we serve a God who cares, loves, and jealously desires to replace the deepest grief in our hearts with His peace that passes all understanding. 

About Melissa Bradley

Melissa Bradley is married with two small children. She is a co-founder of a City-Wide Women’s Ministry, The Well. She currently serves and assists in various churches around her community. The burden of her heart is to see the churches in her city come together to be the hands and feet of Christ. She is passionate to live every day missionally. You can also find Melissa at www.Melissa-Bradley.com.

---

Want to read more from this contributor? Put her name in the search box at the top.  
Sharing this article over at these awesome blogs