Less than one percent. That was it. I couldn’t understand it, but facts never lie. From the time I was a little girl, I was saturated with the understanding that my Grandparents migrated from Norway. My parents owned the leather trunk my ancestors brought over, made krumkake, dangled red flags with indigo blue and white lined crosses, to prove it. I could even recite a Norwegian prayer, the same one my Norwegian Grandmother prayed on holidays.

About a year ago, my whole identity shifted. For a present I was given Ancestry.com’s dna test; a plastic container you spit in, send in, then a few weeks later receive a link giving you your entire genetic history, based on your DNA.

I scanned the list for “Norwegian”. What I found was, “< 1%”....basically nothing. How could that be?
In scripture I wonder if the disciples had the same identity crisis I did. Before Jesus, their identity centered around who they had always sailed the seas, conversed, and ate with.

But then, Jesus came and revealed a whole new identity apart from everything they knew.
They walked in faith and obedience, while hearing Jesus teach, witnessing His miraculous power and healing.

Still, when Jesus was taken and crucified, the disciples seemed to shrink back in question, returning to salty water drying out their skin, the stench of fish, like those gathered in the days before Jesus instructed them, “Come follow me”. (John 21:3)

And I wonder, was resting in their old identity easier than embracing their new? Was living their lives balancing on the wooden planks of the boat, more comfortable and less controversial than rising to their new, God-given identities?

As I opened up the map of my DNA that day, I not only was taken back, but discovered something I had never known before. I was nearly 10% Irish and almost 10% Finnish. I honestly knew nothing about either. I got online, researched and had to map out what it looked like to be the unique combination God had created me to be.

And whether we are new Christians, or have been believers for decades, God has given us a DNA of unique characteristics and gifts to use as He desires and pleases.

Living as Missional Women means we not only get to navigate our God-given identies, by searching scripture and asking God to reveal them to us, we also get to walk by faith and grace, using those gifts to draw others to Him.

Jesus waits for the disciples as they float in their oblivion, up all night, catching nothing, wallowing in regret through an evening of darkness. (John 21:4)

And I wonder if after we have tasted our new identities, can we sometimes just want to return to what we originally knew….or does our old, carnal selves taste bitter after we have heard His gentle whisper…looked upon His face?

Morning came. A figure from the shore instructs the disciples to throw their net to the other side. (John 21:5-6) Fish fill the boat rocking from the tide. Peter recognizes The One in whom His identity resides…..

“It is the Lord.” He puts on his outer garment and plunges into the sea. (John 21:7)
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And can’t you just imagine the aching and longing to be reconciled with The One who calls Peter to his full, God-given identity….The Rock of the Church (Matt. 16:18), the Feeder of the Sheep (John 21:17), the servant of Christ who later model’s Christ through healing (Acts 9:32-43) and teaching? (Acts 2:14) 
In the world of so many influences trying to shape our identity, I am so grateful, Christ alone defines our identity. God alone has the authority to tell us who we are.

Let’s rest, eat from scripture, and sit at His feet, while He calls us higher into our true, God-given identity. His blood runs through our veins, and I know I am grateful….that DNA never lies. 

​Though born, raised, and still living only miles from where she grew up, Jen's heart lies in the nations. Jen loves the beautiful tapestry found in the wide diversity of people, different cultures, and all nations.  Jen and her husband have been married twenty years, and have parented fifteen kids and counting; twelve foster, one adopted, and two bios.  Her multi-racial family reflects her passion for unity, desire for faith without walls, and missional mindset to share both the gospel and the power of redemption to a world desperately needing the hope found in Jesus Christ. Jen and her husband have led in a variety of ministries; including prayer, small groups, children's, and women’s.  Jen advocates for the orphan as a board member for the non-profit, A New Song; and loves doing missions work internationally, along with her family.  You can find Jen writing about faith, while challenging her readers at her blog, Rich Faith Rising, as well as at tweeting faith-filled messages @Jen_Avellaneda .  Jen is also on facebook.  


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Politics, powers, influences, and opinions pile as high as Everest on the pages of my computer. Chaos taunts, schedules pressure like a tsunami out of control. Online "experts" promise answers, news anchors share opinions, books pile so high, they start resembling The Leaning Towers of Pisa. Yet, so many are left empty asking, “How do we not just survive, but thrive in this chaos?”
 
I open Scripture and read the story of the seeds in Mark 4. Seeds scatter in four places…

1. The path where birds come to eat them.
2. On rocks where soil is sparse. There’s some growth, still the seeds begin withering.
3. Among thorny plants, where thistles grow. The seeds get choked out and eventually suffocate.
4. And lastly, on good, "well-adapted soil", bringing forth grain, growing increasingly and yielded up to thirty, sixty, and even a hundred times as was sown.

 
And in a world of vultures eager to take our harvest, where soil is sparse, and thorns can rob us, I "get" that God wants my life full of "well adapted" soil, but what does that look like, practically? When advice, intellectualism, and practical tools fail us, how do we thrive when the world’s promises of hope, life, and power fail us? And what about that well recited verse, how God promises He’ll work things together for good, for those that love Him? (Romans 8:28) Does that include amid this culture of chaos too?
 
Doesn’t God promise grace sufficient (II Cor. 12:9), to meet every need according to His riches in glory, (Phil. 4:19) that we would not be overtaken with temptation. (Jude 1:24), and for salvation to those who believe? (John 10:27-8)
 
Still, our lives can be left like dependent cellphones, always needing to be plugged in. Thankfully, there is a power source, for Missional Women, who want to do more than survive, but thrive.
 
In Mark 3:9, Jesus had healed many, and as a result the people were pressing in to touch him. But Jesus told the disciples to have a boat ready, so He could retreat to safe waters.
 
Years ago in Guatemala, my husband, kids and I were ministering to remote children. The crowd was small and manageable until school got out and children poured in, surrounding us from every side. Just then, our team truck drove up and we piled in the back while the children chased us from behind.
And I can imagine Jesus, no different from us, feeling pressure, exhaustion, suffocated by the overwhelming chaos that must have closed in on Him.
 
In intense, stressful, heated, or even casual, everyday situations, Jesus understood the only key to thriving, He separated Himself to pray.
 
Jesus knew, thriving required more than yet another resource, tool, or any kind of mere human help. Praying was a regular part of Jesus lifestyle. Jesus required connection to His Father before He said or did anything.
 
In fact, Jesus would often quietly slip away into the wilderness to pray.
(Luke 5:16) Jesus ministry thrived and this is why:

• "While it was still dark, He (Jesus) rose and went out and departed to a lonely place, and was praying there." (Mark 1:35)
• "After sending them (the multitude) away to pray, He departed to the mountain to pray." (Mark 6:45-6)
• "He went off to the mountain to pray and spent the whole night in prayer to God." (Luke 6:12)

Jesus thrived in the chaos. He knew the importance of stepping away and putting His relationship with His Father first. Do we?
 
My cell phone has a warning when I am low on battery. How might the chaos fade if we prioritized His presence, radiated His glory, then went out with zeal, not just surviving, but thriving, knowing He is our sole source of sustainment?
 
Prayer softens the soil, yielding thirty, sixty, even a hundredfold harvest. Isn’t it time we silence the chaos, tap into our power source, and pray?

​Though born, raised, and still living only miles from where she grew up, Jen's heart lies in the nations. Jen loves the beautiful tapestry found in the wide diversity of people, different cultures, and all nations.  Jen and her husband have been married twenty years, and have parented fifteen kids and counting; twelve foster, one adopted, and two bios.  Her multi-racial family reflects her passion for unity, desire for faith without walls, and missional mindset to share both the gospel and the power of redemption to a world desperately needing the hope found in Jesus Christ. Jen and her husband have led in a variety of ministries; including prayer, small groups, children's, and women’s.  Jen advocates for the orphan as a board member for the non-profit, A New Song; and loves doing missions work internationally, along with her family.  You can find Jen writing about faith, while challenging her readers at her blog, Rich Faith Rising, as well as at tweeting faith-filled messages @Jen_Avellaneda .  Jen is also on facebook.  

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“What’s your ministry? Your calling? What makes you happy?”
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We hear messages like these often, as Christians. In fact, it’s easy to grow immune in a “me” culture, to the subtle world-view sneaking into what was intended to be a simple, relationship with Jesus. In fact, “you” messages can permeate every aspects of our living; from career choices, to family planning, marriages and even ministries.

We can forget the gospel is not about us, it turns on the axis of Jesus.
Although I grew up knowing Jesus, it wasn’t until I was baptized as an adult, this idea of self-less Christianity began seeping into my theology. Before immersion, I lacked grace in understanding Jesus was more than some “add-on”, like a sticky post-it tacked onto my sinful nature, or some bumper sticker used to spiritualize the beat up, dented automobile of my life.

However, soon after baptism the true message of a self-denying gospel started soaking into my being. By grace, God revealed to me through scripture, we aren’t called to “live better”, but commissioned to “come and die”. It’s not us decorated by some gospel, but our old self replaced by new life, centered around Jesus, for ultimately His praises alone, not ours.

I learned we are called to a gospel that requires us to crucify our flesh with its passions and desires, not one made for our praises and exaltation. (Gal. 5:24) 
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Jesus said it best in Luke 9:23-24, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross (an instrument of death) daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it.” Jesus used a grain of wheat to symbolize our lives. “Unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone, but if it dies, it bears much fruit.”
And yet, why is it so easy to get tricked by a compromised gospel that says we can add on Jesus and He will multiply what we want in our lives, forgetting the truth that He calls us to subtract sin and divide self from the equation of our lives?

Jesus didn’t mess around with this concept of surrender, self-sacrifice, and sanctification. His desire is that daily, we reflect more and more of His image. In fact, in no uncertain terms He warns, “Those of you who don’t give up everything you own, cannot be my disciple.” (Luke 14:33)
Scripture makes it clear we are called to a gospel centered around Him, not us.

When speaking about foster care and adoption, I often use the analogy of children burning up in a fire, and how God has called the church to race into the fire (or hard places) and rescue them. Yet, as believers, how often do we play it safe, run away from the flames, instead of towards them? Are we willing to take up our crosses, lay down our lives and sacrifice, so that the glory of His purposes will shine through us?

Malachi 3:33 tells us, God, “Will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver”. Proverbs 25:4 urged, “Remove the dross from the silver, and the Silversmith can produce a vessel.” Paul pleas in John 3:30, “He must increase, I must decrease.” The NLT translations being, “He must become greater and greater, I must become less and less.”

Yet, we don’t fix our eyes on suffering. We don’t let the cross become our sole, sorrowful description as believers. As Christians our hope lies in the resurrection. 2 Timothy 2:11 tells us, “If we have died with Him, we will also live with Him.”

The joy of our walk is in the knowing that as we lay aside our hopes and dreams, His resurrection power burns brighter and shines even more alive in us, and any “Present sufferings are not worth comparing to the glory that will be revealed to us.”  (Romans 8:18)
Time is short, compared to eternity. Let’s live standing on a gospel centered on the axis Jesus, rejecting a culture compromising us to simply add Him to our ministries. I once heard it said, “If it doesn’t feel a little like dying, it’s probably not the gospel”?

​Though born, raised, and still living only miles from where she grew up, Jen's heart lies in the nations. Jen loves the beautiful tapestry found in the wide diversity of people, different cultures, and all nations.  Jen and her husband have been married twenty years, and have parented fifteen kids and counting; twelve foster, one adopted, and two bios.  Her multi-racial family reflects her passion for unity, desire for faith without walls, and missional mindset to share both the gospel and the power of redemption to a world desperately needing the hope found in Jesus Christ. Jen and her husband have led in a variety of ministries; including prayer, small groups, children's, and women’s.  Jen advocates for the orphan as a board member for the non-profit, A New Song; and loves doing missions work internationally, along with her family.  You can find Jen writing about faith, while challenging her readers at her blog, Rich Faith Rising, as well as at tweeting faith-filled messages @Jen_Avellaneda .  Jen is also on facebook.  
​
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Exhausted. Burned out. Spent. Going on a dozen years of fostering children, I could relate to Peter, fishing all night; sweaty, drained, depleted….and yet sadly catching nothing.
In my own life, I was ready to pull up my net, stop discipling and training children, just to see them leave, a month or even two and a half years later.

I understood Peter’s pulling and striving, his hard work and persistence at what he must have felt like was his calling. Yet, his net remained empty.

Have you ever felt like you were walking in your purpose, but your heart lay barren, hands are empty, your life is like that net, pulled from the water, with nothing substantial in it?

Could it be, God is about ready to use that empty net, to show you the fullness of what He can accomplish by grace, in His timing, when we walk by faith knowing He is right beside us?

And I wonder, does God allowed empty nets after hard, black nights, just to contrast with His promise of what He can do when we stand before Him in the light?

I remember it well, opening scripture and reading. “Let down your net again.” (Luke 3:5) I knew what it meant; don’t give up, don’t quit, and keep opening your home to more and more children.

Yet honestly, I didn’t feel like continuing fostering. I didn’t feel like changing diapers, dealing with tantrums, dividing my attention between my own children and all this brokenness. After all, my husband was ready to retire in a few years.

Still, I remember Jack Hyles saying, “You express love by obedience”.
Scripture tells us, “Love the Lord your God out of and with your whole heart and out of and with all your soul (your life) and out of and with all your mind (faculty of thought and your moral understanding) and out of and with all your strength.” (Mark 12:30 Amp.)

Was I going to listen to my conscience, follow this call regardless of how excruciating it can feel, lay down my entire life in obedience or was I going to just live for me?

That moment on the carpet, I said, “yes” and responded like Peter who told Jesus, “On the ground of Your word, I will lower my nets [again]”. (Luke 5:5) 

Peter didn’t push that boat out into the water because of his own desire or will, but because of His love for the Father and out of obedience to His word.

And guess what? His nets were filled, not just a little bit, but to the point of breaking. It was then, Jesus shifted Peter’s calling from physical fish to spiritual fishing.

Peter who was called Simon at the time, caught a boat full of scaly fish, still that’s when Jesus said, “Have no fear; from now on you will be catching men!” (Luke 5:10)

And I love how just when Peter gets what he thinks he wants, Jesus shifts Peter’s focus from a visible purpose to an eternal calling.

And I wonder…Doesn’t He do the same, when we walk by faith and obedience, trusting Him to guide our lives?

Regardless of how uncomfortable it is, God uses the fruitless nights to prepare us for what He wants to do in the light. He doesn’t demand perfection, but simply asks for love, obedience and our whole hearted devotion to Him.

Callings might not look like we think they should, but His purposes are pure and He always uses for good, our humble steps and surrendered obedience.
​
Today, another child has recently entered our home. I am not weary like before, but revitalized with passion and purpose, not because of my own strength, but because I know…It was His voice leading me to throw my nets deep again.

Though born, raised, and still living only miles from where she grew up, Jen's heart lies in the nations. Jen loves the beautiful tapestry found in the wide diversity of people, different cultures, and all nations.  Jen and her husband have been married twenty years, and have parented fifteen kids and counting; twelve foster, one adopted, and two bios.  Her multi-racial family reflects her passion for unity, desire for faith without walls, and missional mindset to share both the gospel and the power of redemption to a world desperately needing the hope found in Jesus Christ. Jen and her husband have led in a variety of ministries; including prayer, small groups, children's, and women’s.  Jen advocates for the orphan as a board member for the non-profit, A New Song; and loves doing missions work internationally, along with her family.  You can find Jen writing about faith, while challenging her readers at her blog, Rich Faith Rising, as well as at tweeting faith-filled messages @Jen_Avellaneda .  Jen is also on facebook.  

​
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​Almost every night when I lay my head on the pillow, the attacks begin. Disillusionment wraps itself up in a thought and pierces my mind in hopes of destroying my hope.

A battle is raging in my mind.    

My adversary is unseen and relentless. Discouragement will stop at nothing to take me down. 

The enemy wants to destroy my passion and purpose as a Child of God. If I am overwhelmed by fear and doubt, I am an ineffective witness. 

Like a well-armed soldier, I must take up the shield of faith and make decisive moves to counteract the onslaught of my vicious opponent. 

If like me you are waging a mental war every day as you step out to share the Good News, I want to encourage you to stay in the fight. Never forget that “Greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world.”

I pray that these strategic moves will help you to effectively overcome the opposition.


5 Decisive Moves to Overcome Discouragement.

1. Move toward the Truth: Wear God’s Word over your heart like a bullet proof vest.
When the enemy bombards you with negative accusations, lies, and twisted truths, you need to thwart those missiles by covering yourself with wisdom. 

“Since then we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus, the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin. Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need” (Hebrews 4:14-16,  ESV).


2. Move toward Community: Link arms with other soldiers on the field.
When we are wrestling with disappointment and doubt, our enemy tries to isolate us from the encouragement of our brothers and sisters in Christ. Rather than hide away and nurse our fears, we need to stand in a close-knit circle with others in the fray and invite them to pray for us and speak life into our hearts. 
 
“Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful; and let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near” (Hebrews 10:23-25).
 

3. Move toward Adoration: Remember your battle cry is praise. 
The easiest way to disarm your opponent is to worship, rather than worry. As we lift up the name of Jesus, He will fill our hearts with unshakeable peace. 

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:6-7, NASB).


4. Move toward Strength: Tap into the power of your Commander in Chief.
You do not fight alone. The Spirit of the resurrected Christ lives in you and empowers you to face every obstacle. 
 
“In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.  And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:26-28, NIV).
 

5. Move toward Eternity:  Focus on the final victory.
Your enemy is a defeated foe. Christ has already conquered sin and death. Nothing can stop God’s kingdom purposes from being fulfilled in your life if you stand in the shadow of the cross. 
 
"If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with Him in glory" (Colossians 3:1-4, ESV).
 
Discouragement cannot defeat you if you are walking in the power of the Spirit and armed with truth. Stand strong, my sisters. 

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Winter is my least favorite time of the year.

Trees are bare wood pointing towards nothing in particular. Flowers have sunk into the ground. Perennial bushes sport clumpy circles of dried leaves at their feet. Even the grass lies dormant.
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Nature seems closed for the season. Gray and brown starkness lingers.

Slowly as spring swings into the hemisphere, I rejoice. Nature clothes itself in green leaves. Bright colored flowers shoot forth for bees to pollinate. The sun shines brighter and longer. Creation bursts forth in song, color, and symphony.

Part of the reason I get excited is because I know how my flowerbeds will fill with color and the parks and woods will dazzle my eyes.

Sometimes it seems winter’s death has caught us. I notice myself all gray brown and half dead. I look at my barely-teenage son and register bare branches. My husband seems hibernating with dead leaves circling his feet. Others appear dull and paused in their growth. My vision is focused on the negative and wrong.

Take heart. God doesn’t see us as dead and bare. No. He knows what is coming. He sees us for our potential. For what we are becoming with his help.

He sees us through the righteousness of Christ. He sees us as the perfect creatures we will eventually become. He sees us in our color, glory, and majesty of late spring and summer. When we are most beautiful and alive.
 
This is what I am trying to remember this season as new growth bursts forth from the plants and the landscape awakes and clothes herself in bright radiant colors. None of us are done growing and changing. None of us has reached our finish mark. Not yet.

Where I see gray and lack of growth, God sees future selves. Even though we are far from perfect, he calls us righteous. A new creation. A new woman. He knows our potential because the beauty, radiance, and heart of Christ is tucked between our muscles, pumping through our veins.

He looks at my ugly bare branches pointing to the sky and knows one day I will be sporting tender green leaves and clumps of delicate pink blooms. He rejoices in what I am becoming. The steps I am taking. The growth that is manifested over time.

2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV)  So from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view. . . if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!

I am called to regard others through God’s eyes. See their potential. Notice them as a new creation. Focus on their good and let love cover their mistakes and clumsy attempts as they navigate life.

I can speak truth into their ears and remind them that they are kind, honest, and loving, even on the days they seem to be failing, because Jesus is living in them and he is these things. I can remind them of their potential with Christ. Help them remember their course and path to new growth.

Doesn’t God do the same for me? He calls me beloved every day. Not just on the days I deserve it or earn it.  

Spring and summer are a time of growth, hope, and color. A time of new life abundantly bursting forth from hiding. Be some of the sunshine, air, and water that nourishes those around you into their God seen potential. Point others to Christ and bring forth life.  

​Theresa Boedeker tries to laugh daily and spread humor into the lives of others. She credits her husband, two children, a bird, and this wonderful messy adventure called life in developing her sense of humor. An author and teacher, her writing has been featured in over 50 different publications. Read her blog, Things to Remember, to be encouraged, find hope, and stop feeling alone. Listen to her podcast, Life as it Comes, to hear funny stories about life, . . . because everything feels better after a laugh.

The first time I wrote for Missional Women I had this movie-like moment. I spent a large minute staring at myself in the mirror wondering if I was qualified to write. The moment was interrupted by me laughing at myself because…who actually looks in the mirror and ponders big questions? Actors do. In movies. Not in real life.
 
 
Now, a few years later, my sturggles have changed. I have this immense preassure (that I put on myself) to write something that God can use to grow the Kingdom. I feel like I have to word something in such a new way that it pushes people to action. And if I fail to do so… then I fail to do my job. And if I fail to do my job… then who knows if I even deserve Heaven at all?!
 
God faithfully reminded me of the same thing He always reminds me of.
 
Jesus + Nothing = Everything
 
I’m hesitant to write this blog post because I don’t want someone to stop reading right here and think that they can/should live a life without action.
 
Jesus calls us to availability. He calls us to have faith. He calls us to be His partners in Kingdom Work, but none of that is our salvation.
 
I’ve been in Christian circles long enough to be confident in the fact that I am not the only person who struggles with this concept. It is so easy to fill that second slot with something. If I were honest about what I try to add to Jesus it would look something like this:
 
Jesus + Ministry = Everything
Jesus + Money = Everything
Jesus + My Family = Everything
 
Listen to me, I’m preaching to myself just as much as I’m preaching to you. We need not add anything to receive salvation. That is solely from Jesus. We do not need to be perfect or avoid sin or say the right things or join a million Bible Studies.
 
We. Need. Jesus.
 
Jesus is EVERYTHING.  
 
“He [Jesus] might taste death for everyone—crowned with glory and honor because of His sufferings in death.”   -Hebrews 2:9b
 
Jesus did it. He did everything. With His blood our imperfections were made perfect. We have faith. We believe and worship in our hearts and He does EVERYTHING.

Growing up, my family always went on vacation to the beach in the summer.  Always.  In fact, for years at a time, we stayed at the same resort…except for that one summer where my mom thought it would be “fun” to do something different and we ended up at a hotel called the Rockin’ B Resort. Oh, the memories.  Back to the beach.  We would leave out really early on a Saturday morning and stay for a week.  It was glorious.  Many of my favorite childhood memories were left in the sand on the beaches of Panama City Beach, Florida.  


Fast forward from my childhood to married life.  Guess what my husband and I did for the first five years of our marriage?!?  Yep.  You guessed it.  We went to the beach.  We went in the summer from Saturday to Saturday because that’s what you do for vacation, right?  


I remember the moment like it was yesterday.  I was planning our summer beach vacation and it dawned on me: 


We don’t have to go to the beach in the summer for a week.  
In fact, we don’t have to go to the beach at all. 


This sounds so simple, but for me, it was extremely profound and utterly freeing.  You see, going to the beach in the summer was an unwritten expectation that I had placed on myself.  I just thought this was how it was supposed to be, because this was the only reality I had ever known.   
What about you? Do you have unwritten expectations? 

I really want you to stop and think.  Are there traditions, pressures that you put on yourself just because you can’t imagine life differently?

It was in the midst of a three hour video conversation when Glory shone all around. An ocean and decades of mothering separated us. We were connected as ‘story partners’ through a workshop Jo Ann Fore was leading called ‘Free Your Story.’

Prior to this conversation we only knew each other’s names and I had seen Kathy’s profile picture on Facebook. Yet, there was an instant trust; a sisterhood. We were bound by the budding courage to commit boldly to tell our stories.

Kathy chronicled some of her life. How she had grown up as a pastor’s kid and longed to become a pastor’s wife. She lived her ideal for decades with her husband and family. Our conversation flowed around everyday life.

But, in a moment held fragile in God’s hands, the veil between the seen and unseen, was lifted. And everything changed.

I had seen two beautiful young women on either side of Kathy in her picture. I asked, ‘are they your daughters?’ She said, ‘Yes, they are.’ But she also said that she had three daughters. And she continued, ‘the reason why the third daughter, Leisha, was not there, is because she was run over by a car and killed at 15.’

The tears began somewhere deep. I swiveled backward to secure some tissues.
Kathy, then, listened as I shared some of my story. I told of a heart to write as a lost girl to other lost girls. I said I am to write it all honest and so let God shine His Glory.

As our time stretched to three hours, it soared on eagle’s wings. I didn’t want to say ‘goodbye’. But as we did, I knew I had come to know a true friend who would walk with me in the journey. Later, she said there was something about my smile and sincerity that reminded her so much of Leisha.

Yet, God had only begun to show us the healing wings of shared story.

It was about a week later Kathy told me she found something. She was preparing a talk on grief and was reviewing several helpful articles and Scriptures. Then, she came across one that had been so powerful; she had saved the entire thing. It was called ‘A Tree of Life Out of a Root of Grief’.  I had written it nearly four years earlier. It was one of the first things I wrote in the ten years since my mother died.

Kathy found it on a day when she couldn’t get out of bed. All she could see was a tragic death and the roots tying her to that death as a mother. But God; God used something I wrote with trembling hands on a desperate welling of pain. He spoke hope through my story to Kathy.

It is all so very humbling. This is as it ought to be.
It has been a hard-fought, dearly won lesson for me. How our stories are not our own to guard close and tight; to let grow dusty on a shelf. They are dear gifts given to us, to guide us and others home to God.

Here is Kathy’s book about her story and Leisha’s:  Lovely Traces

​Abby is a small-town loving, big city adventurer.  She and her husband have worked with high school students most of their lives!  Since their internship in Budapest, Hungary in 2005-2006, they have been working with the ministry of CRU.  In May of this year, they moved to Hungary answering God's call to work long-term with the students of Central and Eastern Europe.  Abby loves to laugh, especially at herself, has a passion for God and making Him known and is ever learning how to do that with three small children, ages 5, 3 and one month.  She wouldn't trade the journey for anything!  She blogs regularly at Fan the Flame   

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Selfies on social media, ministries soliciting “follows”, businesses about titles and promotions, and even education telling people what they should be doing with their life.
We don’t have to look very long to see our culture is self-consuming.

Yet, invisible egos can hover around even the most innocent; making marriage about our wants and needs, parenting about performance, and even crafts, cooking, and decorating about comparing our talents and creativeness with someone else’s.

And let’s face it, even in churches we can feel it; that inward pull to make it all about our good works and redemption…Instead of making our lives set a part, simply for Jesus. Never before in history have people been so pressured to make life, family, work, and even ministry, all about us. It’s times like this, scripture must be our focus, worship must be our “go-to”, and holiness must be our standard.

Like the moon reflects the sun, we must look to Him and let His reflection be what other people see in us. After all, when sinking in a culture of “me” and consumerism, we can drown if we are not intentional about shedding our flesh, and fixing our eyes on the only True One who wants all the glory.

Yet, I am not going to lie. Sometimes selflessness can feel like swimming up a waterfall or resisting a hurricane. Pressing into the quiet can be difficult when the world shouts and blares at us to simply, try harder.

But Jesus, The Perfect One who was God Incarnate, came in the flesh and gives us a model for ministry, taking selflessness to a whole new level.
He got down and washed the feet of the disciples, while others were rising in power. He took on the cross, and often avoided the crowds, seeking refuge in the silence, only saying and doing whatever the Father in Heaven instructed.

And yet, “invisible” ministry is almost unheard of, in a generation of entitlement, a world pointing to themselves in so many ways.

Yet, peace consumes us, His presence fills us, when at the end of the day, we make it all about Jesus.
And I wonder if we, if I, can even become blinded when I am living my life centered around something other than Christ; if pride can hide the fact that my thoughts and action can be all about me, instead of Jesus?

Normal, humble, quiet lives don’t often get much media hype or acknowledgement. Yet, Jesus?

• He started by being born, humble, unannounced, in a manger. (Luke 2:1-10)
• He refused his own mother, saying it was not the time, when He did his first miracle. (John 2:1-11)
• He then, quietly slipped into the river, unannounced, to be baptized, the dove descending. (Matt 3:13-17)
• He then made his way to the dessert, where He alone would become tempted and tested. (Luke 4:1-14)

But then, you might say, that is when His “real” ministry began, that’s when the miracles, healings, the great signs and wonders touched so many. Yet, scripture tells us, even then?

• Jesus heals, but then often tells people not to mention their healings.
• He instructed many privately and after touching them, tells them to stay silent.
• He slips away from the crowds into the quiet of a boat as the crowd increases.
• He didn’t seek fanfare or praise, but only kept close a few, staying in communication with His Father.

You might even say, Jesus coveted the silence, made priority His time with the God of all Eternity. And yet, we race and spin, and somehow think we can live a life centered all around, “me”?
Jesus said He didn’t come to do His own will, but only what He had seen the Father doing. (John 6:38)
“Hallowed be YOUR name, YOUR Kingdom come, YOUR will be done.” Jesus teaches. (Matt. 6:9)
And at the end of the day …This life is not at all about me. It’s about God and what He wants to do in and through my willingness.

Will you join me in swimming against our culture, pressing beyond the hurricane that tells us, we are the focus?

Let’s make Jesus the center. After all, He is the one true Son…And we are nothing, but the reflection of His image. 

Though born, raised, and still living only miles from where she grew up, Jen's heart lies in the nations. Jen loves the beautiful tapestry found in the wide diversity of people, different cultures, and all nations.  Jen and her husband have been married twenty years, and have parented fifteen kids and counting; twelve foster, one adopted, and two bios.  Her multi-racial family reflects her passion for unity, desire for faith without walls, and missional mindset to share both the gospel and the power of redemption to a world desperately needing the hope found in Jesus Christ. Jen and her husband have led in a variety of ministries; including prayer, small groups, children's, and women’s.  Jen advocates for the orphan as a board member for the non-profit, A New Song; and loves doing missions work internationally, along with her family.  You can find Jen writing about faith, while challenging her readers at her blog, Rich Faith Rising, as well as at tweeting faith-filled messages @Jen_Avellaneda .  Jen is also on facebook.  ​
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