5 Keys To An Un-Offendable Heart

“She was mean to me”, “They excluded me”, “He violated me”.  Haven't we all heard them...the excuses people use to justify building walls around themselves? 
And yet it is clear, those who love much, will have to overcome offense.

I remember when a group of people set me up to exploit me. I loved them deeply, but they purposely exposed, connived, and betrayed me. I was hurt, deeply. 

Still, every grudge we hold is like taking a brick and placing it between us and the other person. 

As time goes on, offenses can cause us to build an entire fortress around ourselves, without us even realizing it.

Proverbs 18:19 tells us, “A brother offended is more unyielding than a strong city, and quarreling is like the bars of a castle.”

In Bible times, walls were common. They existed around cities and groups of people. Another name for these fortresses is, “defensive walls”. 

And yet, haven't we all gotten “defensive” when another has hurt us; put up walls, placed bricks, put up barriers in hopes to protect ourselves? 

As Missional Women, we can't afford to get defensive, let walls of offense be built up between us and those we are ministering to, if we want to reach the nations. 

Scripture says, offense is like a stumbling block, or the stick holding up a trap. When tapped, it imprisons us. 

But, let's not take the bait. 

Matthew 24:10-12 says in the last days many will be offended, betray and hate each other. Yet, there are ways we can live with unoffendable hearts. 

1. Forgive Others Words: Ecclesiastes 7:21 says, “Do not take to heart all the things people say, lest you hear your servant cursing you.” Too often we unnecessarily ruminate on negative dialogue, allowing the seed of offense to plant somewhere deep in our conscience. But, by remembering we also have unknowingly said things that have hurt others, we can forgive words, and give grace, removing bricks of offense before they're put into place.
2. Rid ourselves from guilt and sin: Titus 1:15 tells us, “To the pure, all things are pure, but to those who are corrupted and do not believe, nothing is pure. In fact, both their minds and consciences are corrupted.” Offense in Scripture is often connected with guilt and sin. Offense also comes from jealousy, a self-grandiose perception of ourselves, or fighting for our own rights as individuals. (James 3:16) Yet, we can forgive when we stop pointing fingers, and first make sure our conscience is clean, living pure and with purpose, to where even the greatest offenses can't stick to us. No one can be a stumbling block unless we let them.
3. Keep moving: Nothing will stop the progression of the gospel faster than offense. Offense closes churches, hearts, stops church-attendance, hinders love from flowing through us. Proverbs 19:11 tells us, “Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.” What if we ran harder, loved stronger, pressed in deeper every time opposition came? How might His glory shine brighter if we overlooked an offense and simply kept running this race?
4. Let love smother pain: The goal of the enemy is make our hurt, pain, sadness, fear, and frustration, be the focus of our energy. But God says,“love is not easily offended”, (1 Cor 13:5), “love covers over a multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8)“with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, [be] eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace,” (Eph 4:8). What if we loved so radically, offense had no air to breathe in? What if we lived soaked in mercy, love reigned more than bitterness?
5. Let Him be our defense. Abuse or malicious treatment is never o.k. Sometimes, God calls us to the safest thing which is to love people from a distance. But even then, we can handle offense with grace, trusting He is our defender, refuge and safe place. (Prov 91) All great works come not by might, or by power, but by His Spirit. (Zack 4:6) And we can trust Him to defend us when we let Him be our shield and fortress. 
   
   

Jericho had a 12-15 feet high retaining wall holding up a 6 foot wide and 20-26 foot high mudbrick wall around it. A 46 feet wall was also encamped around Jericho. Yet, it wasn't by force, the Israelite's took Jericho. 

When we give him our hurt, He can tare down every wall in us too, following Jesus model on the cross, “Lord forgive them, for the know not what they do”. (Luke 23:34)

About Jen

Though born, raised, and still living only miles from where she grew up, Jen's heart lies in the nations. Jen loves the beautiful tapestry found in the wide diversity of people, different cultures, and all nations.  Jen and her husband have been married twenty years, and have parented fifteen kids and counting; twelve foster, one adopted, and two bios.  Her multi-racial family reflects her passion for unity, desire for faith without walls, and missional mindset to share both the gospel and the power of redemption to a world desperately needing the hope found in Jesus Christ. Jen and her husband have led in a variety of ministries; including prayer, small groups, children's, and women’s.  Jen advocates for the orphan as a board member for the non-profit, A New Song; and loves doing missions work internationally, along with her family.  You can find Jen writing about faith, while challenging her readers at her blog, Rich Faith Rising, as well as at tweeting faith-filled messages @Jen_Avellaneda .  Jen is also on facebook.  ​

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