 When I first became a mom (7 years ago) I found myself in a place of great dissatisfaction and discomfort. I was in a place where I was feeling heavy amounts of criticism, judgment and disapproval. Most of it was in my head but some of it was actually expressed to me in some very awkward face-to-face conversations. Knowing that there was more or, at least hoping that there was more to parenting then just raising well mannered, healthy kids who, dress too adorable for words and who follow perfect “eat, sleep, play” schedules and can count to 20 and spell their names before they are two, I began to search for more. In my search for more, I found that I was parenting to make myself look better. My parenting was beginning to be about me, my comforts and what everyone else was thinking about me. Although, I don’t think I ever admitted this out loud, when I look back on some of my early parenting moments, there is an underlying motive of self. I had a deep desire for everyone else around me to be pleased of the way I parented my child. After my second son was born, I felt empty. My parenting felt shallow and I craved to be genuinely fulfilled in my parenting. That is where God met me. God met me in the brokenness of my parenting. His grace came in and swept me off of my stumbling feet. And so, I was humbled. God began showing me that neither parenting nor my family, was about me. Nor was it about all the other people I had let into my family through my obsessive thoughts and people pleasing. God was showing me that I had allowed the thoughts of so many others to drown and push out the thoughts and opinion of the one that matters most. Him. Through God’s gentle grace I learned that family is not about me. It is about Him. He has created these children for His glory. They belong to Him and He has entrusted me with them, to steward them, and to raise them in the way that they should go. To raise them in a way where they will live a life of confidence in the Lord. My children…our children… and our families are a gift. A gift from the Lord. They are a reward from him. (Psalm 127:3) These children are our first “mission field”. We are to train them, teach them, love them and direct them to their Creator so that they too can go out and reach the ends of the earth proclaiming the name of Jesus. In my new found revelation of parenting I have found a satisfaction that runs deeper then I ever imagined. Though I grow tired and weary from day to day I am reminded of the bigger picture. I am reminded of God’s sufficient grace. When our hearts are increasingly satisfied in God and our center focus is on Him in all that we do, a new affection begins to gradually expel old cravings and old frustrations. The way to break the powerful grip of self in parenting is to fill up on God and abide in His joy. The joy that we receive from God will leak out into our parenting and it will empower us to train and equip our children to chase wildly after God’s heart. We are then also able to capture and grasp the most beautiful and cherished moments of our life with our children. When I begin to feel daunted by the daily tasks of parenting, a small voice whispers “Cast your cares on me, my grace is sufficient, you are parenting for my glory and I am well pleased.” In what ways has God been showing you that family is not about you?  Check out the rest of the Not About Me November Series  About Jenna Jenna is a born and raised West Texas girl married to her husband Phillip since 2005 and momma to three beautiful children, Parker, Beckham and Emerson. Jenna is passionate for Jesus. Seeking daily to make His name and glory known through the little moments in life. Jenna is also crazy about Africa. Specifically Ethiopia. Jenna and her husband have a heart for adoption, missions and ministry. You can often find Jenna grabbing coffee with friends, sneaking in much needed dates with her husband, reading way to many books at once, trying out her latest Pinterest find, playing outside with her kids or serving in her church. You can read more about Jenna and her little family at DayofKnight.comor you can also connect with her on Facebook, Instagram,Twitter and Pinterest. Want to read more from this contributor? Put her name in the search box at the top.
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11 Comments
11/11/2013 11:43:20 pm
Beautifully written! Sometimes it's hard not to get bogged down in the day-to-day and forget the bigger picture, and remember that He is there to help us and is well-pleased with our efforts. Thanks for the reminder! :) 11/12/2013 03:25:01 am
Jenna - Great article! So true..."these children are our first mission field!" Love it!
I love this article! I've always tried to put my kids ahead of my own needs to "look good" or "be right"... I remember my mom getting mad because I let my then 3 year old son go to church in a horrible concoction of stripes and plaids... but he had dressed himself and was SO proud. (He's 15 now and *mostly* dresses okay... sometimes his outfits still make me shake my head, though). You are right! It is such a hard balance to find. I love your example about the church clothes! We have this discussion in our home almost every week. My middle son (the cure blonde in the picture above) LOVE 'workout' clothes and throws the biggest fit when he can't wear the church on Sunday. I finally met him in the middle. Nice pants, comfy shoes and a nicer comfy tshirt. He is now pleased. My pride was a little wounded when we first go to church and saw one of his 5 yr old friends there in a sweet little bow tie. **sigh** but end the end his heart being on fire for Jesus is more valuable to me then his sense of style. Most days... just kidding :) Thanks for reading!!
Holly Bartlett
11/12/2013 11:18:43 pm
Great article!! I love how you address this issue that so many moms don't openly discuss. We may talk about how hard motherhood is, or how our parents or other friends may disagree with how we are raising our babies but to be genuine and open and get to the root of our motherhood issues of it being about "self". How true that is!! (not always easy to swallow!) (gulp) Holly! You are one of the most encouraging people I know! I am thankful to have you in my life! I am glad this spoke to you! I was praying over this and praying that it would at least reach ONE person and ONE person would feel encouraged by my thoughts. Thanks for taking the time to leave these encouraging words! LOVE YOU!! XOXO 11/14/2013 09:42:09 pm
Loved this post so much! Yes, our children are our biggest and most important mission field! They are our eternal investment! thanks for this reminder!
Wynne
11/19/2013 11:24:24 pm
proud of you.. and thankful to have you in my life! thanks for sharing your wisdom and things you learned the hard way in the parenting game. it's really good food for thought this morning. i really wanted to go to my last bible study, but my baby is not wanting to get out. so i will stay home. i want to be selfish and go anway! but this is helping me....his needs first. not what people will think if i miss! love you! Leave a Reply. |
