“When Rachel saw that she was not bearing Jacob any children , she envied her sister. ‘Give me sons, or I will die!’ she said to Jacob. Jacob became angry with Rachel and said, ‘Am I in God’s place, who has withheld children from you?’”
“Then God remembered Rachel. He listened to her and opened her womb. She conceived and bore a son, and said, ‘God has taken away my shame.’ She named him Joseph: ‘May the Lord add another son to me.’”
Genesis 30:1-2, 22-24
Being a Leah by name, I have always admired Leah in Genesis for so many reasons. Not saying she was perfect, but the lessons she learned have been lessons I’ve needed to return to time and time again. But recently I’ve had this command roll around in my head – Don’t have a Rachel attitude!
For a couple years I thought that I may not be able to have children naturally. But last summer God, through a rare change in my body, allowed me to get pregnant with our BEAUTIFUL (seriously, I don’t think there has ever been a cuter baby and I’m not biased… obviously I am) daughter, Ruth. I remember two weeks after she was born I told Malcolm, “I want 20 more just like her!”
Since then I keep seeing this attitude in my heart coming out – I want more! Where did this come from?? I remember a couple years ago praying, “Even just one, God? At least one baby and I’ll be satisfied.” Now I’m expecting to be given more?? Granted, Ruthie is a gateway baby. But even then, shouldn’t my heart be satisfied in Christ alone? Friends around me are getting pregnant, and I have to admit I’m a little jealous. JEALOUS! I JUST had a baby less than 6 months ago and I’m jealous??
I started reflecting on this, and I thought of Rachel. She was so jealous of her unloved sister and desperate to be satisfied with becoming a mother. “Give me sons or I will die!” she exclaimed. Then God blessed her with a son after years of waiting. And what does she name him? Joseph – the Lord will add.
In my brash youth (which, I admit, I’m still pretty much in – so I guess I should say in my MUCH brasher youth) I thought, “I will never be like Rachel! I will thank the Lord for all the blessings He gives.” But here I am, in my brash youth saying, “Thanks Jesus! I expect you’ll add more arrows to our quiver.” (Referencing Psalm 127)
I’m not saying we shouldn’t expect God to give us good things, because we certainly should (James 1:17, Romans 8:28). What I am saying, however, is not to look for our satisfaction in receiving these blessings, but to be satisfied by the Blessing Giver! We don’t deserve these blessings, but God gives them because He is our Good and Perfect Father. Just like how we would want our kids to be grateful for what has been given to them instead of yelling, “Gimme gimme gimme!” God wants us to be grateful for what we are given, and ask to be satisfied in Him.
God is showing me my Rachel attitude – and it’s really the same attitude I’ve had all along! I really wish I would have this whole contentment thing down by now… #lifelesson (I suck at hashtags… so that was a joke… you can laugh too if you’d like).
Lord Jesus, Please show me my Rachel attitudes! Show me my discontentment and how I’m not allowing You to satisfy the deepest part of my soul. God, help me to trust and rely on You for the future. Thank you so much for the precious gifts You’ve already given me! I am so grateful to have such a caring, compassionate, and patient Father.
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