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Spiritual Mentoring Series; How to Find a Spiritual Mentor

3/6/2013

17 Comments

 
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Check out the Full Spiritual Mentoring Series
Part 1- How to Find a Spiritual Mentor
Part 2- How to Become a Spiritual Mentor
Part 3- What is Mentoring & How to be a Mentor

Part 1: How to Find a Spiritual Mentor

Probably just like you, I want to grow in wisdom. I want to be a godly old lady who is full of wisdom. But the law of entropy says things go from order to disorder. So naturally, you and I will not automatically become wise, godly old ladies. Naturally, we will become less patient, less kind, less wise unless...  Unless we continually walk with  and desperately depend on Jesus who renews our Spirit inwardly day by day. And unless we feed our souls with good things. Not the junk food of society, being discipled by Hollywood and it's sitcoms. But by the pure milk of the Word of God and by wisdom of strong believers. 

The Lord is very clear in scripture that wisdom is something that comes through intentionally searching for it. It's not something we are born with or that happens to fall in our lap. We have to be diligent to seek it out. Finding a mentor is a good way to grow in wisdom and fill our souls with truth.

 "Counsel is like deep water and a man of understanding draws it out."

4 Benefits of Having a Mentor

1. They see differently than you. The Lord gives each person different experiences in life which enables each to experience the Lord and His character in different ways. Because of everyone's different filter of how the Lord has revealed Himself, often times others can see your circumstances through a different lens. They are able to see outside of your desires, perspective and emotions. Therefore they are able to offer you non-bias counsel. 

2. They can encourage and affirm you, seeing more in you than you see yourself. At times it can be hard to see our own strengths. A good mentor is able to see the strengths and gifts the Lord has put in you and is able to encourage, affirm and draw those out.

3. They can push you more than you would push yourself. Because a mentor can see your strengths and has affirmed those in you, they also have vision of what you're capable of that perhaps you don't think you are. They can call you to greatness and hold you accountable in your areas of weakness.

4. He who walks with the wise grows wise. You become like who you spend time with. Enough said.

So, it's a good thing to have a mentor, but how do we go about getting or finding one?


7 Tips for Choosing a Mentor

1. Pray for the Lord to lead you. Pretty obvious, but we honestly can do nothing eternally significant apart from the Lord.

2. Don't choose right away. Something you don't want is to be stuck meeting with someone on a regular basis that you later find out doesn't even spend time with God or value something you really value. Then you're stuck in a hard place of telling her you don't want to meet with her anymore. 

3. Write down characteristics you'd like to be true of you in the future. Look for a lady who evidences the qualities you'd like to grow in. 

4. Look for someone who loves and lives for Jesus. How will you know? She will spend time with the Lord. When you love someone, you make an effort to be with them. She will  manifest the fruit of the Spirit and will discipline herself for the purpose of godliness and will  make sacrifices to live out His mission.

5. Ask her to lunch or coffee and ask questions. If she is someone you'd like to spend time with regularly, share specifically what you want from her. Proverbs says a wise person draws counsel out of people. When you get together with her, don't expect her to do all the work. Come with questions for her. Questions about her relationship with God, questions about Scripture, questions about life experiences. Ask her things like, "When you were my age, what do you wish you would have known?" What are the biggest ways the Lord has revealed Himself to you and how?" "What are the biggest things the Lord has taught you?" Draw wisdom out of her instead of expecting her to read your mind.

6. Don't settle for just one mentor. I strongly believe The Lord wants us to be influenced by many different women. What one lady can teach you, another can't. So depending on how much time you have, pursue more than one. There is wisdom in the multitude of counselors. 

7. Don't be limited by time or space. The Lord has allowed us to live in a time where we can communicate with each other whether we live in the same city or state or not, or even the same time period. (Don't forget you can learn from women through books they've written). If you can not get your schedules to line up, try using email or facebook messaging. If you can't get together in person, try using skype. Be willing to think outside the box.

I hope this has encouraged you in finding a mentor. Feel free to share this, perhaps it will be a blessing to others as well. Next week Part 2 will be posted.
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About Laura

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Laura, the founder of Missional Women is married and has five kids, two of whom are adopted. Laura and her husband have been missionaries to college students for 13 years serving with Master Plan Ministries where she is the Women's Development Coordinator. Laura has authored 5 books, including an award winning 12 week Bible Study on First Samuel, Beholding Him, Becoming Missional, Reach; How to Use Your Social Media Influence for the Glory of God, and A Devotional Journey through Judges, a devotional to accompany the free online Bible study at TheBookofJudges.com. You can find her on facebook,twitter, pinterest, youtube, instagram and her author site.

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17 Comments
Lyli@3dLessons4Life link
3/6/2013 03:18:40 am

This is a topic near and dear to my heart. Looking forward to part 2. Have you read Carol Kent's book Becoming a Woman of Influence? It's a great book on the topic.

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Laura
3/6/2013 12:12:38 pm

I can imagine, with your heart for Gods Word. I've heard of it, but haven't read it.

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Mary A link
3/8/2013 10:58:22 pm

I love how I'm seeing mentoring & discipleship everywhere now, so vital to the church. Great benefits & tips. Thank you!

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Laura
3/20/2013 09:05:49 pm

That's so encouraging! Sometimes it doesn't really "feel" that important but then when I look around and see the people who are growing the most are the ones who are gleaning from the wisdom of others (and saturating themselves in Gods word), I am reminded that sometimes what important doesn't always feel like it. :)

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Gina link
3/10/2013 12:14:13 am

I have also heard that it's important to think through specifically how you want to grow, and to seek out a woman you feel excels in that area. That can help focus your time together.

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Laura
3/20/2013 09:07:55 pm

Yes! Just like #3. :) What one lady can help us grow in another can't. So what a privilege to live around so many different people with different gifts and personalities. :)

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Karen Joyce link
3/12/2013 03:01:48 am

Love it! You have me writing a new list from a whole new perspective!!!! Thank you!!! I'm going to post it on my blog :)
As I have a super overloaded schedule (not giving up employment, church or Boy Scouts), being a single mom, I will probably do this via messaging. Also going to use my "Women of the Bible" book for some as the books of Esther and Ruth truly bless and mentor me every time I open each!

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Laura
3/20/2013 09:10:08 pm

Wow Karen! That is a lot on your plate. Way to keep pursuing The Lord and wisdom even when it would be so easy to justify not. Inspiring!!!!

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Esther Irish @LaughWithUsBlog link
3/12/2013 11:21:32 pm

You know I've never had a mentor. I've thought about it. It's hard to find someone that I would trust that would be willing to spend the time...you know?

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Laura
3/20/2013 09:15:01 pm

I totally understand Esther!!! I also find myself very hesitant in asking women... Probably b/c of my perfectionistic tendencies and thinking/hoping she would be a perfect example and my shortness on time. But really those things just can keep me from getting wisdom from a multitude of counselors. :( it's helpful for me when I just think of a few specific things I like to grow in and then see who is strong there and pick their brain instead of a over-arching they know it all and I know nothing relationship.

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Marina link
3/14/2013 10:44:52 pm

Thanks Laura! What a great post with some great insights!

Are you familiar with (in)courage women's ministry through DaySpring? It's for women in all ages/stages of life, not only in missions, but still an encouragement! They are sponsoring an annual "virtual retreat" called (in)RL (in Real Life) that's free, and available all around the world. One of the areas we are touching on is the importance and blessings of being in a mentor relationship! You can find out more at http://inrl.us - and register (no matter WHERE you are!!) online for free. The retreat is held April 26 and 27, but because it's online link up led, time to view is flexible. Friday on your own, and Saturday with a friend. It's a blast to see where everyone is at!! Just go look at the map!! :)

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Laura
3/20/2013 09:16:15 pm

Yes, I'm familiar with incourage. Thanks for sharing Marina.

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Debbie link
4/28/2014 04:04:55 am

Every woman should have a mentor and be mentoring someone. So glad to see you encouraging women in this much needed area.

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Sixon Bigirimana
5/18/2014 09:52:28 pm

we are in need of mentor. Your welcome to my mentor.

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joy taylor
9/26/2014 06:27:49 am

i want to work for the board of education i want to live in my hundreds and i want everyone to experince god through me i want to be annointed in helping everyone.i dont want people to see color when they are by me i want them to see my doctor spirit.

Reply
Oyesho
5/15/2015 05:22:01 am

Looking 4wards 2 reading d part 2

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Robin Vecchio
5/4/2016 09:45:41 pm

Can you help me??

...I HAVE BEEN STUCK since losing my car in an accident in 2015, my only son moving out in 2014 to go to college, my constant unemployment & inability to get a job (tho very skilled, but no car) since the recession of 2008, my health deteriorating due to chronic stress & having to bus everywhere, my friends walking out of my life because of "constant drama", no family (as my mom died when I was 18, after divorcing my dad when I was 6) and never married...YET...but I want to be someday. 

I am in Christian counseling now. I want to heal & become healthy in body/mind/spirit so that I can get UNstuck, but have no support other than my counselor & an occasional social worker that walks in to help solve a crisis...of which there have been WAY TOO MANY. I even had to leave my church last year that I had been with since 2006 due to them becoming judgemental of my inability to keep a job, and being "too needy" and knowing this sort of spiritual-family would not be in my best interest to help me get UNSTUCK & heal!

As an extrovert, this isolation is killing me, and I really need A MOM! I need to not be abandoned because my life is overwhelming. (I have a good sense-of-humor and have even told my friends that have walked out "because my life is too overwhelming" that I get it and would GLADLY walk out of my overwhelming life if I could, because it's SO MUCH MORE OVERWHELMING FOR ME to be in this life, living it alone, with no support!)

Thankfully, I have a very strong faith, and know that God has a plan & a purpose for all that I'm going through. Even still, I think all this LONNNNNG-SUFFERRRRRING is WAY over-rated!! LOL - I need a break...I need lots of change...I'm super weary and need a strong Christian woman mentor (younger or older)  to come alongside me to coach, pray with, hug me and encourage me so that I can keep going! (I'm sooooo weary and know that this is NOT how life is supposed to be for me!)

 -My neediness has gone on too long, and this wandering of the desert for 40 years has me very, very tired and discouraged. I WANT MORE!!! I WANT A BETTER LIFE!!! I WANT RELATIONSHIP WITH PEOPLE WHO WON'T LEAVE!!!...oh, BTW, I was also given up for adoption at birth so rejected in utero. 

WOW! Can you help direct me to a program online or in my area of a Christian Women Mentorship Program that could maybe help me? Only a miracle will have you say, "Yes!"

Trusting God in everything,

Reply



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  • Home
    • Ministry Resources for Women >
      • Beholding Him Freebie
    • Contributors
    • Statement of Faith
  • Blog
    • Ministry >
      • Evangelism {Win}
      • Discipleship {Build}
      • Living Missionally {Send}
    • God's Word >
      • Bible Study
      • Prayer
      • Devotionals
      • Bible Studies
      • Apologetics
    • Relationships >
      • Marriage
      • Singleness
      • Dating
      • Family
      • Friendship
    • World >
      • Social Justice Issues
      • Internet & Social Media
      • Politics
      • International
      • Science Revealing God
    • Life >
      • Image & Idenity
      • Health
      • Fashion
      • Food
      • Organization
  • Bible Study Resources
  • Prints
  • Stickers
  • Quiet Time Journals
  • Courses
    • Discover God's Calling
    • Women's Ministry Training Promo
    • How to Study the Bible
    • Women's Ministry Training Course
    • Growing in Your Faith Mini Course
  • Retreat
  • Video Bible Studies
    • Matthew
    • John
    • Galatians
    • Philippians
    • Know your Purpose
    • Creation Reveals
    • Ministry
    • Heart Growth
  • You Are Unshaken Book
    • Unshaken Groups
    • You Are Unshaken Paint Party
    • Unshaken Freebies
  • Shop