Spiritual Mentoring Series; How to Find a Spiritual Mentor

Check out the Full Spiritual Mentoring Series
Part 1- How to Find a Spiritual Mentor
Part 2- How to Become a Spiritual Mentor
Part 3- What is Mentoring & How to be a Mentor

Part 1: How to Find a Spiritual Mentor

Probably just like you, I want to grow in wisdom. I want to be a godly old lady who is full of wisdom. But the law of entropy says things go from order to disorder. So naturally, you and I will not automatically become wise, godly old ladies. Naturally, we will become less patient, less kind, less wise unless...  Unless we continually walk with  and desperately depend on Jesus who renews our Spirit inwardly day by day. And unless we feed our souls with good things. Not the junk food of society, being discipled by Hollywood and it's sitcoms. But by the pure milk of the Word of God and by wisdom of strong believers. 

The Lord is very clear in scripture that wisdom is something that comes through intentionally searching for it. It's not something we are born with or that happens to fall in our lap. We have to be diligent to seek it out. Finding a mentor is a good way to grow in wisdom and fill our souls with truth.

 "Counsel is like deep water and a man of understanding draws it out."

4 Benefits of Having a Mentor

1. They see differently than you. The Lord gives each person different experiences in life which enables each to experience the Lord and His character in different ways. Because of everyone's different filter of how the Lord has revealed Himself, often times others can see your circumstances through a different lens. They are able to see outside of your desires, perspective and emotions. Therefore they are able to offer you non-bias counsel. 

2. They can encourage and affirm you, seeing more in you than you see yourself. At times it can be hard to see our own strengths. A good mentor is able to see the strengths and gifts the Lord has put in you and is able to encourage, affirm and draw those out.

3. They can push you more than you would push yourself. Because a mentor can see your strengths and has affirmed those in you, they also have vision of what you're capable of that perhaps you don't think you are. They can call you to greatness and hold you accountable in your areas of weakness.

4. He who walks with the wise grows wise. You become like who you spend time with. Enough said.

So, it's a good thing to have a mentor, but how do we go about getting or finding one?

7 Tips for Choosing a Mentor

1. Pray for the Lord to lead you. Pretty obvious, but we honestly can do nothing eternally significant apart from the Lord.

2. Don't choose right away. Something you don't want is to be stuck meeting with someone on a regular basis that you later find out doesn't even spend time with God or value something you really value. Then you're stuck in a hard place of telling her you don't want to meet with her anymore. 

3. Write down characteristics you'd like to be true of you in the future. Look for a lady who evidences the qualities you'd like to grow in. 

4. Look for someone who loves and lives for Jesus. How will you know? She will spend time with the Lord. When you love someone, you make an effort to be with them. She will  manifest the fruit of the Spirit and will discipline herself for the purpose of godliness and will  make sacrifices to live out His mission.

5. Ask her to lunch or coffee and ask questions. If she is someone you'd like to spend time with regularly, share specifically what you want from her. Proverbs says a wise person draws counsel out of people. When you get together with her, don't expect her to do all the work. Come with questions for her. Questions about her relationship with God, questions about Scripture, questions about life experiences. Ask her things like, "When you were my age, what do you wish you would have known?" What are the biggest ways the Lord has revealed Himself to you and how?" "What are the biggest things the Lord has taught you?" Draw wisdom out of her instead of expecting her to read your mind.

6. Don't settle for just one mentor. I strongly believe The Lord wants us to be influenced by many different women. What one lady can teach you, another can't. So depending on how much time you have, pursue more than one. There is wisdom in the multitude of counselors. 

7. Don't be limited by time or space. The Lord has allowed us to live in a time where we can communicate with each other whether we live in the same city or state or not, or even the same time period. (Don't forget you can learn from women through books they've written). If you can not get your schedules to line up, try using email or facebook messaging. If you can't get together in person, try using skype. Be willing to think outside the box.

I hope this has encouraged you in finding a mentor. Feel free to share this, perhaps it will be a blessing to others as well. Next week Part 2 will be posted.

About Laura

Laura, the founder of Missional Women is married and has five kids, two of whom are adopted. Laura and her husband have been missionaries to college students for 13 years serving with Master Plan Ministries where she is the Women's Development Coordinator. Laura has authored 5 books, including an award winning 12 week Bible Study on First Samuel, Beholding Him, Becoming Missional, Reach; How to Use Your Social Media Influence for the Glory of God, and A Devotional Journey through Judges, a devotional to accompany the free online Bible study at TheBookofJudges.com. You can find her on facebook,twitter, pinterest, youtube, instagram and her author site.

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