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How to Engage Your Neighbors: Making Connections in Your Front Yard

2/18/2014

22 Comments

 
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Want to know a secret? I’m horrible at getting to know my neighbors. Sure I write about easy ways to connect with your neighbors but the truth is I’m really bad at it. There are a lot of reasons for this but I’ll share my top three: I’m an introvert, I’m scared, and it’s not easy. Do any of those resonate with you? If so I have a simple solution for getting to know your neighbors. I like to call it “front yard living room.”

My husband and I stumbled upon this strategy purely on accident. We moved to a home without a front porch. In our previous home we had enjoyed many evenings on the front porch either talking, watching a favorite show on our laptop, or enjoying drinks with friends. So instead of relegating ourselves to the back yard at this new home we simply set up our swing and fire pit in the front yard.

Little did we know that our little “front yard living room” would be a great way to meet with people and engage with neighbors on a less than friendly street. People are more willing to say hello when you’re lingering in the front yard and are harder to ignore. Also neighbors are more likely to engage in conversation with you in this approachable casual setting.

Are you ready to get to know your neighbors and engage your neighborhood on a regular basis? Here are my four simple steps for setting up your own “front yard living room:”

  1. Simple Seating: We have a swing with seating for three that’s a permanent fixture in our front yard. We also have extra chairs we can grab at anytime for a larger group. Any kind of seating, even chairs from the kitchen table, will do as long as it’s relatively comfortable.
  1. Get Comfortable: Wear jeans or yoga pants. People are more likely to engage it they don’t feel underdressed or like they’re intruding on a special event. Bring out your favorite lap blanket or throw pillows. Don’t forget a favorite book, laptop for movie watching, or a snack. Think about what the norm is in your current living room and simply bring that outside.
  1. Remember Hospitality: Your “front yard living room” is an extension of your home. Offer folks a seat right away. They’re more likely to linger if they’re comfortable. If you’re enjoying popcorn offer some to your neighbors. If it’s a hot drink, make sure there’s extra cocoa mix in the pantry.
  1. Relaxed Mindset: Don’t enter your “front yard living room” expecting all your neighbors to come to know Jesus or to have a deep conversation right away. Go to the front yard with a willingness to get to know your neighbors but also a contentedness in enjoying your family in God’s creation. (Note: if it’s been a particularly rough day don’t feel obligated to use your “front yard living room,” or be prepared to answer honestly to the sometimes ominous, “how are you?”)
As you enjoy your front yard more consider moving other events there, including barbeques, dinner parties, and dessert and coffee. I pray setting up a front yard living room will allow you to expand your home and your reach. 

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About Joy

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Joy is a missionary to Downtown Orlando with her husband, Jason, and drool covered Bassett Hound, Sam. She has a degree in Church Leadership and formerly helped manage the Church Planting office of Converge Worldwide. She teaches women how to intersect their faith and life through intentional missional living at joybrudolph.com. You can also find her on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.

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22 Comments
Melissa Deming link
2/18/2014 09:24:08 pm

Wow - this is so simple but so effective. I, too, struggle with being friendly to neighbors. Partly because we're so busy doing "ministry" elsewhere, but it is an apparent contradiction to neglect those on either side of us. What a great reminder. I love the emphasis on hospitality!

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Joy B. Rudolph link
2/18/2014 10:46:25 pm

Thanks, Melissa. It's really simple but also really effective. Plus you make little to no changes to your regular schedule.

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Kris Wood link
2/18/2014 11:02:17 pm

Yes! This is just right. I love the idea of expanding the home to the front yard. This is especially true if you don't like to have clean up the clutter in order to be friendly. :) Still looking for a similar idea for those of us who are Northerners and have less options outdoors throughout the year. Have you or your readers heard of good ways to engage college students? As of now, they tend to move to the other side of the street if we're outside. I've tried being welcoming over the years, but most don't want to connect with "parent-aged" peeps. Hee. Hee. We've toyed around with the idea of creating a block party...close off the street, set up a grill and bring on the tunes. Risky business, being neighborly... <3 Thx for your post!

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Joy B. Rudolph link
2/18/2014 11:13:47 pm

Kris, I think the block party is a great idea or even a simple grill and tables set up in the front yard. I think the key in either situation would be some simple invitations. Throw some flyers together and as you pass them out you may even get to make some personal introductions. You can explain that you want to get to know them and you're not "scary old people." If they ask why you can explain that you want to share Christ's love (if that works in your demographic right out of the gate). I don't work in a college setting but a lot of our other contributors do and they might be able to weigh-in on this better.

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Laura
2/19/2014 09:41:51 am

Hi Kris,
Good question about college students. They do tend to have different felt needs than families or "normal" neighbors. I would suggest taking them a goodie package or something and being friendly and respectful. If they know you care about them, they wont care much how old you are.

This post gives an indication of what they value and will probably help. http://www.missionalwomen.com/7/post/2012/02/10-things-ive-learned-from-millennials-about-leadership.html

Hope this helps a little.
Grateful for you heart to want to love the people the Lord has in your neighborhood!!

Reply
Joy B. Rudolph link
2/20/2014 02:56:51 am

Thanks, Laura!

Jerralea link
2/19/2014 01:18:21 am

What a creative idea! I'd say that was definitely thinking outside the box.

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Joy B. Rudolph link
2/19/2014 01:31:06 am

Thank you, Jerralea. I hope it gets you thinking about way to connect with your neighbors.

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Gentle Joy link
2/19/2014 02:17:18 am

What a great idea and challenge.........thank you for sharing this. Gentle Joy

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Joy B. Rudolph link
2/19/2014 05:34:54 am

Thank you and you're welcome!

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Joyce @ It's Your Life link
2/19/2014 03:15:49 am

When we moved into our new home, in a new state, it was not hard getting to know our neighbors. First off we live in the country on a dead end road, everyone knows who belongs here. My husband is a walker, and sometimes I walk with him. Well we were approached by a man one day obviously curious about who we were, and what we were doing on this road. Other neighbors were meet through my husband walking, and he would introduce me to them. There is only a couple of people on the road we have never talked to. I love the family feeling we have on our road, everyone looks out for everyone.

Followed you here from the R&R Wednesday link up.

Reply
Joy B. Rudolph link
2/19/2014 05:37:24 am

Yes, Joyce, walking is another simple and practical way to get to know your neighbors. I love that you connect with them all even in a more rural setting. You're proof of how easy missional living can be if you just live your life with intention.

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Molly link
2/20/2014 03:19:16 am

I love this idea. Sadly, I've lived in my home for almost 6 years and have only met about three of the families in my neighborhood. I think we'll give your idea a try as soon as the weather warms up.
Thanks so much for linking this post up to our Lovely Ladies link party this week, so glad to have found you there :)
-Molly from Just a Little Creativity

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Joy B. Rudolph link
2/20/2014 10:58:05 pm

I'd love to hear how it works out for your, Molly.

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Angela Parker link
2/20/2014 10:48:39 am

Such great ideas! We have a very active neighborhood and even so it is hard to stop and take time to love on our neighbors. We need to remember to invest in their lives.

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Joy B. Rudolph link
2/20/2014 10:59:11 pm

Absolutely, Angela. It's not easy but it is worth it.

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Cyndee link
2/21/2014 08:38:09 am

Have recently moved twice in the last three years, I can tell you it is very hard to be the new kid on the block.

Our move to KY was in July and it was SO hot no one was outside. We didn't really meet anyone until the boys started school. We took it upon ourselves to throw a back-to-school ice cream party and invited the all of our nearby neighbors and kids (and their families) the boys had met on the bus. It was a HUGE success!

Moving back to NC has been rough. Hardly any of our neighbors have introduced themselves and two have been quite rude. For us the challenge is how we're going to love our neighbors. ;)

Please take a plate of cookies (even if it's slice and bake) and your name and phone number to your new neighbors.

I would LOVE to have a list of recommended doctors, vet, hairdressers, dentist, etc.

Embrace the opportunity to be a great blessing to someone new!

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Joy B. Rudolph link
2/22/2014 06:27:56 am

Great ideas and great point, Cyndee. Thanks for sharing.

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LuAnn Braley link
2/21/2014 10:01:40 am

My mind is working on how to adopt this for our yard in the country. We don't get a lot of foot traffic (no sidewalks). But when you drive by someone's house and they are out in the yard, it is customary to honk or wave and vice versa.

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Joy B. Rudolph link
2/22/2014 06:32:07 am

LuAnn, would it work to let your neighbors know that whenever you're in the front yard they have an open invitation? Perhaps you have a standing night that you open your "front yard living room" each week. Maybe bake a dessert every Tuesday or have a fire every Friday. I can't wait to hear how you implement this in your rural setting.

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JAN GRAHAM
2/22/2014 10:10:09 am

Since it's too cold here for front yard/porch approach much of the year, we have done Christmas block parties at our house several times and had positive responses to those.

Reply
Joy B. Rudolph link
2/24/2014 02:22:00 am

Great idea, Jan. That sounds like a great start to having intentional relationships with your neighbors.

Reply



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