Hey, Hun: Speaking Life or Death in Relationships

"Life and death are in the power of the tongue,
and those who love it will eat its fruit."
-Proverbs 18:21

We've heard it. We know it. Our kids sing songs about it in Vacation Bible School. But what does it really mean in the context of a dating relationship?

I've been with my wonderful stud of a boyfriend for two years now. Happiest two years of my life. He's my best friend, my pastor, my encourager, my make-me-more-like-Jesus-er. 

Through watching close friend's marriages and through a recent relationship series at our church, God showed me that I sometimes (a lot of times) fall short in a huge area of our relationship. 

My words.

I'm not necessarily barking orders or telling him he is a terrible person...I would never do that! But I do tend to walk the line of life and death. Meaning, my words aren't poisonous, but they're definitely not life breathing. 

In my head I get the picture of that one summer I thought it would be fun to try to be a gardener. I planted the seeds, watered and after HOURS of long work. I had two little pumpkins bloom in this giant patch of watered dirt. I guess, by definition, there was life.... just not much of it. Not life in abundance, full of color, and usefulness. 

That's what I mean about walking the line between life and death. Yes, my words can just be there... not really going to one extreme or the other. But is that truly honoring to Jesus and my boyfriend? 

I don't think so. I want my words to make him feel much more than a lousy pumpkin. I want my words to encourage him to his fullest his potential! The next-door-neighbor Grandma type garden. 

Ladies, we can make the men (and women) in our life feel miles tall or inches small with just the words that we choose to use with them and about them. Speak life. It's a choice. 

About Jacque 

Jacque is the Missional Women Intern and a college student in Denver, CO who balances her time between trying to go to class and learning about His saving grace and perfect love as much as she can.  She is a twenty something, DIY attempting, Jesus loving, Denver living, small town rooted, Colorado sports fan.  She loves black coffee, long conversations and watching people do what God created them for. You can find her Christian Twenty Somethings blog at Desperately Dependent. ​​

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