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Adoption and Motherhood is Not About Me

11/6/2020

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I want to be honest with you, open, and raw about my adoption story. I want to share the beauty and the purpose and the worth of adoption (it is so worth it). I want to share about our precious son, O’Ryan, whom God gifted us with, and I want to point to what an incredible work God did through O’Ryan’s adoption story. God’s heart is for adoption, His heart is for families, His heart is for giving children mothers and fathers through adoption, but you know what I found through my adoption journey? I found that God’s heart is also to teach me through the entire process, His heart is also for me to grow closer to Him, and His heart is to align my heart to His heart in how I walk through the adoption process and how I respond to all areas of the post-adoption process with my adopted child.
 
Our adoption journey started when my husband and I found out after a year of trying to get pregnant that I have a health condition that was preventing me from sustaining a pregnancy. I cried and cried. To be honest I had this plan in my mind what my future was going to look like and in that future: I got married and we had lots and lots of babies biologically. Psalm 26:2 says “Examine me, O Lord, and try me. Test my mind and my heart.” This is an accurate description of what a large portion of God’s plan for my journey to motherhood was about; and this was not to hurt me but it was to give me a purpose and calling. At the time I had an index card I had written about my purpose in life and it said something like this “my purpose in life is to be a wife and mother.” This was a major identity crisis for me because a huge part of my purpose in life was to be a mother and I remember thinking “what kind of woman am I? If my identity is in having babies what does that make me?” I felt like a failure.
 
God’s plan in revealing our heart is always to bring us life and even in this identity crisis he gave me a fresh and new life. I realized my identity could never be in being a wife and a mother, my identity truly and deeply had to be that I was God’s daughter. Out of this identity God could bring a calling, but the identity that was the wellspring of my purpose came only from being HIS and HIS ALONE. He began breaking down my ideas, my plans, my self-focus and began giving me a heart not just for me in the process to motherhood but for many other areas and people as well. Out of this time God began drawing our hearts to foster care. My husband Forrest and I became licensed foster parents. September of 2017, we opened our home to two sisters from foster care. I can’t share my adoption story without talking about these two beautiful girls. They taught me about motherhood and they taught me about letting go.
 
I learned that adoption isn’t just about meeting a dream of having a child, but instead it is about learning to love a child no matter what the cost is for me. These girls changed my life forever the year they lived with us. We prayed that God would allow us the gift of adopting them but God sovereignly allowed them to go back to their biological mother and father. This was another part of the surrendering. Our adoption journey with each child does not always end with adoption. If I went back to the moment we said yes to bringing these two girls into our home; knowing I would have to say goodbye, I would still say yes all over again. This was a process in our adoption journey I would never take back, because it again taught me that real love is to love no matter what it means for you in the end; to love if you get to hold them forever, or if you have to let them go. I had to come to terms with the reality that the journey to adoption is a blessing and it also challenges us to look deeper into our motives, to be honest with God and ourselves, and ultimately to recognize that God is in control and that he is good all the time. Yes, he is good even in the grief of saying goodbye to a child you wanted to adopt. Yes, he is good in the long process of waiting for a child to adopt. Yes, he is good. All the time.
 
During the time we had the two sisters we got a phone call about a baby boy that was 24 hours old and needed to be placed in a foster home. We said yes and within a few hours we had a baby in our home. God taught us again to surrender and trust His plan. We were told early on that O’Ryan was not going to be adopted by us.  When he was three months old he got very sick and was hospitalized. Late one-night Forrest was in the hospital holding O’Ryan and God spoke into his heart telling him “hold him and love him as if he was your own.” That is what we did. We loved him and poured every ounce of love we could into his life not because we would be able to adopt him but because God loved him and God created him to be loved and held. One month after both of the girls were reunited with their family we found out we were going to be the ones to adopt O’Ryan! It truly is a crazy story all the details of it but God placed him with us and God chose him to be a part of our family. Adoption Day was so special. The entire courtroom was full of people who walked through our journey with us. The moment it was all final was incredible! We changed his middle name to Seth because Seth means “God placed” and that is exactly what God did in O’Ryan’s life and in our adoption journey; God placed him into our family. Our adoption journey is just beginning. I praise God for adopting O’Ryan.
 
I praise God for the journey he has taken me through to know my identity is not in being a mother biologically or even through adoption; my identity is in being a DAUGHTER OF GOD!   
                    
We are adopting again through domestic adoption with Lifetime Adoption! Want to join us in our adoption journey? E-mail me at hope.mccleary@mpmstaff.com
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About Hope

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​Hope McCleary graduated from Mesa State College with a degree in Mass Communications. After graduating she spent two years working in local news at KKCO 11 News in Grand Junction, Co. She decided to give up her career in the media to share the message of Christ full-time. She joined full-time staff with Master Plan Ministries the summer of 2012 and got married to Forrest McCleary in September of 2012. Through her own personal ups and downs in college Hope has a heart for college women understand their worth as God’s daughters, to see them grow in their faith, to grow in the unique gifts God has given them, and to stand firm in their faith even with the pressures of the world all around them. Hope’s interests include world and local missions, photography, singing, playing guitar and writing music, reading, meeting new people, coffee, and hiking. 

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Raising Missionaries

2/26/2020

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It was not our intention to raise Missionaries.

In truth, we did not set intentional parenting goals.  We were just happy to have babies! Instead, we had a vague framework of ideals within which we parented.  They were not lofty ambitious but they have proved to be a solid foundation. First, we wanted our children to Know God, then, to Obey Him from a place of Love and, lastly, be Productive members of society.  As is true in most situations, hindsight has brought awareness of things we could have done better - that’s where we find God’s grace and mercy. Yet, distance has also brought reassurance of seeing the things we did right.

When I look back at our early parenting years, I am so thankful that we decided to frame everything we did as parents within the context of the Word of God.  This decision made knowing God personally a natural event. Prayerfully, we chose a few scriptures for the basis of all our family expectations. Their behavior, work habits, relationships - everything was taken to God’s word for comparison.  As they grew older, turning to the Word of God became a natural practice. During tough times, I would ask them, “What does God say?” My young teenage son did not always like this, once complaining, “I hate it when you bring God into things because then I can’t argue with you.”

I think that was a parenting win.

Secondly, I am glad we taught our children obedience through service. From local soup kitchens to foreign refuge camps, we served beside our children. Most importantly, we served beside our kids in the local church. Service was a natural act for our family. We volunteered in Children’s Ministry, Youth Ministry, garage sales, yard clean ups and social gatherings - Together.  This service extended into our home where we have hosted meals, bible studies and student gatherings. We wanted to teach them that everything we have belongs to God and we should use it to serve others. This servanthood requires obedience. To go where it was scary. To talk to others who didn’t look like us. To hug the smelly. To treat everyone with the respect due a child of God. To give when we’d rather keep.  To do tough things.  

Our goal seemed like an unlikely standard.  Being a Productive Member of Society sounds very foreign to most Christians.  Perhaps if we substituted the word ‘Community’ for ‘Society’, it would be more engaging. Yet “community” is too small. Our Society carries the same connotations as the word “neighbor” when God commands us to “Love our Neighbor as ourselves,” Matthew 22:39. Our Community Neighborhood is our world at large and it must be engaged in an intentional manner. Where we live and work. How we spend our money and where we shop. It’s speaking Truth with Love.  It’s serving the disenfranchised and the broken but it’s also serving the affluent and those who hide their brokenness. We are all God’s children and in need of a Savior.

It was told to me as a child,  “You are either a Missionary or a Mission Field - you chose.”  This statement became the launching pad for raising our son and daughter.  They had to chose Christ for themselves. And they had to decide to obey the Great Commission for themselves as well.  We use this same mantra as we disciple University Choice - You Must Choose.

Christians seem to believe that Matthew 28:19 is optional.  Jesus said, “Go into all the World and make Disciples.” The entire world.  Their home nation and foreign nations. Neighbors near and neighbors in nearby countries.  We love verse 20 in which Christ promises to be with us always, but we fail to fulfill the first conditioning of Go and Disciple.  They go together. 

It has been an honor to watch both our son and our daughter serve in local organizations as well as seeing them serve internationally on short-term missions. More importantly, every day when they leave their homes, they choose to use their skills and talents to be Christ’s Ambassadors in their place of work - their personal Mission Field.  When they are in their homes, they are Servant Missionaries to their spouses and family members as well as those that enter their house.  

God’s Word,  Serving Others and Engaging our World - these are areas in which I see where God has led us as parents in order to develop our children as servants.   I continue to ask God for verses for my husband and I as we serve together. And I continue to pray God’s Word over my daughter and my son and his wife as well.   

We are a Missionary Family.  Serving Together. We count this as success of the highest order.  Not our success but God’s alone - we were just His willing Ambassadors.    This is the true parenting win - 3 John 1:4 “I have no greater joy than to know my children are walking in the truth.”


Challenge:  Ask the Father for 5 verses for your family.  Don’t be shy! Then prayerfully ask, How can I apply these verses to my parenting?
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About Kim

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4 Questions to Help Give Jesus your Best

3/28/2019

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​My daughter is in Cubbies (AWANA) and I LOVE reading through her book with her each week! Most weeks we even do an extra activity to help reiterate the lessons. This week we talked about how Mary cried over Jesus’ feet and put perfume in His hair, and it was the perfect gift for Him at that time. The extra activity suggested giving or something else the child sees as valuable to Jesus in some way.


Ruthie chose to give some of her money from her bank. We dumped out all the coins, and she started “counting out” how much she wanted to give. But what she ended up doing was going through each coin and picking out the best looking ones to Jesus. If it didn’t look good to her, she put it back in the bank.


I love how my kids bring out these sweet teachable moments for ME to learn! Here sweet Ruthie is choosing the best for Jesus – when was the last time I really gave Jesus my best? When did I look through the valuables in my life and say, “Oh this is for Jesus because this is the best!” I think when you start down the path of knowing that all we have truly belongs to God, its hard to see whether we’re intentionally giving Him anything, let alone our best.


Let me share questions I am asking myself:
·      What have you been given?
·      What’s valuable to you?
·      You are given something valuable – how are you gifting it back to Jesus?
·      Are you holding anything back from Jesus that you need to give back to Him?


Lord Jesus, Thank you for teaching through my children? Help me to give like Ruthie gave to you! I know that what I give is not going to make you love me more or less, but I want to give because you have given me so much. I know you would take even the dirty, tainted parts of me, but Lord I truly want to give you my best. Can you show me how I can start doing that? In Your Name I pray…

About Leah

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​Leah works with Master Plan Ministries at Fort Lewis College in Durango, CO. Other than watching college students' lives change, she enjoys getting her mind blown by God and His Word, watching sci fi, baking cupcakes, and spending time with her hunky husband.

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Giving Direction is Not About Me

11/9/2018

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​I picked my three year old, Ruthie, up from AWANA one night, and when we were driving home we took a way we had been before but not a lot. Keep in mind, I am picking her up when I am usually putting her to bed any other night of the week, so she is usually very tired by the time I get her. Anyway, we’re driving down this road and Ruthie starts telling me, “MOM! This is NOT the way home! I want to go HOME!” I proceeded to tell her that how I knew where we going and how we were going home. Even by the time we got home, she was still pouting about the direction we took home.


This is not the only time she has done this – but it still amazes me how a three year old with no driving experience tries to tell me how and where to drive like I don’t know how to get where we’re going. I’ve been driving 5 times longer than she’s even been alive – what makes her think she knows better than me??


Even though this really does make me laugh every time it happens, God showed me how we treat Him way worse when He does that same thing. We ask for Him to come through in our ministry/finances/health/family/etc., but then blame and yell and tell Him how He should do things differently when it doesn’t look like how we want it to look. Sometimes when we get to the destination we’re glad because – surprise – God knew what He has doing all along (like he’s been around for an infinite amount of time and we have been alive a super short amount of time in comparison – go figure)!


But sometimes, like Ruthie, we still pout because the outcome or the journey were not what WE wanted or what WE expected or what WE prayed for God to do. We decide to hold onto our feelings instead of surrendering them to God to change. We decide to mope instead of moving on. We decide to not see what God did or is doing, and instead focus on how He fell short on what we wanted Him to do. We blame others for not being where we wanted to be.


But the drive to our eternal home is not really ours at all if we have truly surrendered all to Christ. The journey is to make much of God. The journey is about trusting the Holy Spirit to do HIS job. The journey is to make us more like Jesus!!


Romans 5:2-5 says, “…through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.”


James 1:2-5 says, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”


Are you persevering? Where does your hope stand? When things aren’t going how you want it to, do you consider it a joy? Are you seeing what God is producing in and through you, or focusing on the faults of yourself and others around you? Are you keeping Christ on the throne? Are you relying on the Holy Spirit poured into your heart to show you where to go next?


Dear Lord Jesus, Help me not assume things about your way like an obstinate toddler, but let me joyfully follow you like an obedient child! I admit I have had a bad attitude and have doubted what you have wanted to do in my life. Help me to see the bigger picture and trust that you know best in my life. It’s in your name I pray…

About Leah

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​Leah works with Master Plan Ministries at Fort Lewis College in Durango, CO. Other than watching college students' lives change, she enjoys getting her mind blown by God and His Word, watching sci fi, baking cupcakes, and spending time with her hunky husband. 
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Ministry vs Motherhood

11/2/2018

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As a mom, I am constantly feeling the pull between being with my kids and diving into ministry. When I am trying to decide whether to go to a ministry event, I think its easy with having two toddlers and a baby on the way to be sucked into the easy trap – it’s easier to stay home, it’s easier on others if we’re not there, it’s easier to not find a babysitter, etc.
 
But I STILL enjoy ministry! I enjoy meeting new people, asking them about their week and about their walk with Jesus. I keep thinking back to before I had kids and all the young women I got to invest in full-time.
 
Kids complicate things, which makes sense why Paul warns in 1 Corinthians 7 that being single makes you more available to live out the mission Christ has called us all to follow. BUT just because having a family makes it harder to do what Christ calls us to doesn’t mean we roll over and stop doing it! If anything, we keep pushing through to do what He calls us to do. Cause Paul also said in Romans 5:3-4, “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.”
 
Maybe you’re like me, feeling tugged between staying home or taking the kids out with you to invest in others. Or maybe you’re hiding behind your kids so you don’t have to do anything. Don’t get me wrong here! We all go through seasons where its really not possible to get involved in anything and we have to focus on our kids. But I would just want to challenge those hiding in feeling comfortable at home in their wifely/motherly duties – you are needed! Did you know that? NEEDED!
 
Here are 4 BIG reasons why moms are needed in ministry:

 
1. You are valuable as a person
You’re value as a human redeemed by God’s grace means you are needed in ministry! You have a story that is unlike anyone else’s story. Jesus drew you into a relationship that is personal and different from anyone else in the world. He sees you as valuable and as a useful tool to make Him known to others.
 
You come with your own unique set of skills, perspective, life experience, struggles, victories, talents, interests and more that could make the difference in someone feeling connected at an event, to understand the gospel, to feel understood in their current reality. I think its easy at times as mom to feel less human because we’re constantly taking care of other selfish little humans that can drain and diminish our once fiery souls. But Jesus doesn’t see you as less, stupid or unwanted – He sees you as a beautiful created vessel ready to be poured into and to pour into others.
 
2. You are valuable as a mom
Regardless of who you work with, you’re current reality as a mom gives you a depth and a perspective to give to others. I know you may not feel like you have much of either depth or perspective… or even the capability to think straight (especially when you’ve been up most the night with a screaming child  (uff ta!) but you DO have those things in you! Your kids teach you things about God’s character, about your OWN character (yikes do they ever), that people without kids do get to see. Just like people who don’t have kids or are empty nesters have a perspective to contribute to your life, you have something to contribute too.
 
3. Your family is valuable
In a day and age where more families are ending in divorce and being patched up, more and more people are afraid of commitment to even get married in the first place. Let alone the women (and men too) extremely burned by physical and sexual abuse by their families. You’re family isn’t perfect, but it’s valuable for people to see a normal family striving after Jesus together. It’s good for them to see healthy discipline, loving words, and fun interactions, but its also good for them to see how they can function as a family one day – the good, the bad, the stinky.
 
Not just you - but you, your husband and those rascals known as children make up your family. So how you and your husband interact with each other. How the two of you work with your kids. Its good for broken people to see how other broken people allow Jesus to redeem and make a family work in the world we live now. I am so grateful my husband does a lot so I can have time to interact with others in ministry, but I am also grateful other get to see how we work together (or how I can be snappy and mean and how gracious he is).
 
I remember as a college student seeing how different families did ministry differently from each other. I saw some moms as involved as possible, others barely involved and a lot in the middle. When I saw that I could still live out the Great Commission and have kids, it made me more excited to be a mom! When my daughter (my first) was born, I remember feeling like a part of me was awakened. I was doing full-time ministry for 5 years at that point and loved it, and when I became a mom a new part of the purpose I knew I was called to got to be fulfilled. But God didn’t make my calling different – I was still called to invest in others and share the gospel. But it just looked different than before. And I LOVED IT MORE! But I needed moms to go before me to show me what God had in store for me. YOU could be that needed inspiration for someone else!
 
4. Your kids are valuable
Family is my first priority in ministry, so I am not going to run them ragged just so I can feel like I am getting all the ministry time I want. BUT I also know that its good for my kids to see how Mom and Dad pursue and follow Jesus! AND it’s good for the people you’re investing in to interact with kids too.
 
One example was from our last retreat. I brought my kids, and struggled with how involved the kids and I could and should be. Later when I was meeting up a girl in discipleship, I asked her what God taught her at the retreat. She told me, “Ya know, the talks and discussion groups were really great, don’t get me wrong. But I think the biggest thing God taught me was an interaction I saw with Malcolm {my husband} and John {my son}. John had that bloody nose and Malcolm was trying to take care of him, but John kept fighting him. I realized that’s what I do a lot to God – I have this obvious problem that I can’t take care of myself but I fight God when He’s trying to take care me.” I remembered that moment – it didn’t last that long, but made a lasting impact on an outsider.
 
Our kids make others more at ease, make them laugh, help them feel compassion for someone else and so much more! And my kids get to see others than Mom and Dad talk about Jesus, praise Jesus, share Jesus and still have fun. Don’t get me wrong, they also can be big snots and be a distraction from time to time, but the benefits outweigh the negatives. My kids often talk and pray for the college students we work with like they are their best friends!
 
There is probably more great things too, but I’m a mom that struggles to remember all my points. But the point is that getting involved in ministry isn’t about me – it’s ALL about being faithful to what God has called me to. Sometimes that means saying no to bible study and yes to staying home with the crying toddlers. Sometimes that means making the trek to the weekly meeting with peanut butter sandwiches in tow for dinner so the kids and eat and play while we set up. Live in the power of the Holy Spirit and ask Him how HE wants to use YOU. You are valuable. Your family is valuable. Your kids are valuable. Let him be made known through the craziness known as your life.
 
Dear Lord Jesus, Being a wife and mom is hard on its own but how do I bring my crazy life into a ministry context? What is even possible for me to do at this stage of life? God, I don’t feel competent to do anything for you, but you have also said in 2 Corinthians 3:5 that you made me competent to do what you called to do. Help me to trust you to come through in my weaknesses and walk by faith in taking the next step. Help me to not sit in my comfort zones, but courageously be the woman you have called me to be with my family. Thank you for seeing me, knowing me and calling me valuable, even if I don’t always feel it or see it. It’s in your name I pray…

About Leah

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​Leah works with Master Plan Ministries at Fort Lewis College in Durango, CO. Other than watching college students' lives change, she enjoys getting her mind blown by God and His Word, watching sci fi, baking cupcakes, and spending time with her hunky husband. 
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The One, Quiet Goal of a Busy Mama

1/20/2018

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Let’s face it, New Year’s Resolutions can become bipolar. January 1st we start with dreams of grandiose proportions; lose 100 pounds, sail the Pacific Ocean, run a 26 mile marathon.

Then, a few months, weeks, or maybe even days later, we crash; sink into the hollowest pit of despair, wondering why we failed, beat ourselves up, or stuff our face with chocolate, replacing the treadmill for binge watching Netflix or the Hulu channel.

But, God never intended for us to be enslaved by a rollercoaster of emotions; captive to the grandiosity of our own expectations, just to leave us sinking into the depths of despair.
He calls our feet to be planted firm, on the rock of His intentions, following the narrow path, and trusting His Spirit will lead us, awakening new life in our hearts, not just one goal at a time throughout the entire year….

He calls us to live life filled, not with grandiose, self-appointed expectations, but more often through thousands of faithful steps. Every. Single. day.


And as the calendar turns, I confess, I am guilty of feeling condemned, evaluating everywhere I fell short the previous year. Still, His grace is sufficient, and this year I long to strip my mind from self-depraved thinking, asking for His truth and New Life to fill me.

This year, I race into the coming year, not with my own plans and purposes, but His call to my spirit leading the way, His voice my road map, His goals my faithful focus, and lastly, His call the direction I obediently trust from the quiet corners of my home and heart.

What I find refreshing is, throughout Scripture Christ and the disciples got a lot done. However, I never once see them laboring extensively, or sitting in guilt and turmoil for extensive periods of time.
The disciples knew rest in their inner being, because they could trust, God’s Spirit was with them.
Yes, there was joy and healing, hardships and a road map taking them to their own personal Jerusalem’s….but all in all their position seemed clear, their goal to “lay down their lives” seemed first and foremost after submitting to the Good Shepherd’s leading.

And I wonder, do I make “mapping out my life” way too complicated at times? Do I labor over every decision, try so hard to be a “Good Steward” in this ministry or that? When, what if Jesus want’s His voice to be our sole direction, His carefully planted footsteps the only path we follow?

What if, my decisions and goals (Although maybe fine and good) are just a distraction to the primary cause of loving God and people, sharing His gospel, and living solely for His glory alone?


We are the information age. Still, I wonder, did the original disciples have it easier with just dirt paths, muddied sandals, eye witnesses and verbal testimonies of the glorious things He had done?
Do we complicate the gospel? Our mission? This call to live our one life well? Have we deluded the simple, primary message of Him at the center of everything we do?

This year, I don’t have a long list of elaborate goals. I probably won’t lose 100 pounds, sail the seas, or run any type of marathon…
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But, what I do hope is that I sense Him as I sing over babies, feel Him as I wet my hands in soapy dishes, invite Him near as I fold laundry and make sure my little ones have their shoes on the right feet as they aimlessly leap out the door.

Yes, I long to do great things for God, like you probably do as well. But mostly? I want to walk with Him closely, intimately, personally here and now, in the quiet moments nobody sees….

And here, in my unseen obedience…maybe I can live missionally more than I might have if I listed a thousand hopes and achievements…but never accomplished one.

How is God calling you to abide, and draw more near and intimate to Him in the year to come?
 

About Jen

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​Though born, raised, and still living only miles from where she grew up, Jen's heart lies in the nations. Jen loves the beautiful tapestry found in the wide diversity of people, different cultures, and all nations.  Jen and her husband have been married twenty years, and have parented fifteen kids and counting; twelve foster, one adopted, and two bios.  Her multi-racial family reflects her passion for unity, desire for faith without walls, and missional mindset to share both the gospel and the power of redemption to a world desperately needing the hope found in Jesus Christ. Jen and her husband have led in a variety of ministries; including prayer, small groups, children's, and women’s.  Jen advocates for the orphan as a board member for the non-profit, A New Song; and loves doing missions work internationally, along with her family.  You can find Jen writing about faith, while challenging her readers at her blog, Rich Faith Rising, as well as at tweeting faith-filled messages @Jen_Avellaneda .  Jen is also on facebook.

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My Kids Chores are Not About Me

11/15/2017

1 Comment

 
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Being a task oriented person I look at chores as something to get done as fast as possible so you can move on to the next thing. When you're training a child in a chore, it doesn't get done as fast as possible. It. takes. forever. When our kids were real young I preferred to do it all myself because my patience was so limited that it was tortuous to have something take twice as long as normal and then have to re-do their work anyway.

Well God in His infinite wisdom kept giving us kids and perhaps one reason of the many is to get me to the point I couldn't do it all by myself. The speed in which a house gets messy with 8 people is rather astounding. Without lots of people pitching in, we're all miserable. So, I had to cling to the Lord and depend on His might to give me patience.

Meanwhile as I struggled through the frustration of training kids in chores, my husband saw one way of divvying up chores while I was doing another. Let me just tell you that is frustration on top of frustration. After we communicated and pushed through in figuring it out we are able to see the benefits not only of a less crazy house but also in our kids growing perseverance and character.

My kids chores are not about me. It's not about having it done perfectly and in a timely fashion. It's not even about what chores I think they should do. It's all really about being a surrendered, willing vessel to the Lord and letting Him have opportunity to grow my kids in doing hard things

Chore Help for Your Kiddos

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There are a lot of ways to do chores and it took us years before we found a system that works for our family. I'm happy to share how we do it though it may or may not work for you.

At the beginning of the month we write down all the chores the kids can do. We write each chore on a 3x5 cards with the amount it gets paid for the month. (Doing this every months allows us freedom to make changes). Then the kids take turns picking the jobs they want for that month.

Then I put it into a daily schedule. Each day (except Tuesday which is when we are at our homeschool group) and Sunday they do their chores after lunch (though this can be at any regular time of the day). It ends up only taking like 20-30 min. (Unless they have a new chore they haven't done before and they are still getting in the groove.) We have some jobs that only our oldest can do, so they have to pick from that pile first. (The ones with stars).

​Below I have made a printable you can change to fit your family. Since it is editable, the fonts may not come through on your computer and you'll have to change it to something you like.  Just click the picture and it should come up. If you like receiving things like this, sign up for our newsletter and get 3 free ebooks as well as regular emails with other good resources.
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About Laura

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​Laura, the creator and host of Missional Women is married and has six kids, two of whom are adopted. Laura and her husband have been missionaries since 2002 serving with Master Plan Ministries. Laura is the Staff Women's Development Coordinator and has discipled over 150 women, led over 30 Bible studies and speaks many times a year. Laura is an author and creator of ministry tools and resources. You can find her books and resources at the Missional Women store and  connect with her on facebook,twitter, pinterest, youtube, instagram and her author site.




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Become More Effective at Life

10/23/2017

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It’s not like you expected life, caring for your family and living for Jesus would be easy. 

But you had no idea you’d be so tired, frustrated, and overwhelmed, unsure of how to make get it all done right?

I’ve often felt the same way. When I first became a wife and mom it didn't seem that hard but then the kids just keep coming as well as the responsibilities. How in the world was I going to care for everyone AND get my to-do list done?

Being a wife and mom is a rewarding ministry but it also is filled with seemingly mundane tasks that never end, but here’s the thing: you can become more effective in things like the laundry so you can have more time to invest in the people God has called you to love.

I have resources to help you become more effective and might be just what you need:The Ultimate Homemaking Bundle.

For two days only, everything you need (and then some) is in one fabulous package, for the most affordable price ever. (Seriously, just wait until I tell you the price.)

This year’s edition of the Ultimate Homemaking Bundle includes 50 ebooks, 21 eCourses, 14 printables, 2 videos, 2 audios, 2 summits, and 1 membership site.
​
These top-quality resources cover everything you need to make homemaking and mothering feel less stressful… quick & healthy recipes, homemaking printables, cleaning tips, sizzling date night ideas, parenting helps, and so much more.

For less than the cost of a meal out (and you won’t need to be rescued by drive-thru after this!), you’ll get a complete library to help you:
  • Cook up wholesome recipes for your family
  • Build stronger relationships with your kids (even your teens)
  • Discover speedy cleaning routines for the toughest messes
  • Rekindle the romance in your marriage
  • Put self-care back into your life
  • and finally enjoy homemaking.
  • Plus, it comes with over $200 worth of bonus offers from companies you’ll love (this is one of my favorite parts).
    You sort of need to see it to believe it, but the package includes 106 digital products and it’s worth over $1980!




  • Besides being so incredibly helpful, one of the things I like best about the bundle is the price. By offering it for a short time only, they’re able to give you access to over $1980 worth of amazing products for a whopping 97% off!
  • Here’s how it works:
    1. Visit their website, take a quick look at all the goodness that comes in this package, then click the “Get my copy now!” button to go through their simple and secure 3-step checkout process.
    2. You’ll receive an email with a login to their online access portal, where you’ll begin downloading your eBooks, signing up for your eCourses, and redeeming your free bonus offers.
    3. Use their Getting Started Guide to pick the topic you want to tackle first and start your stress-less homemaking journey!
  • The most important detail, though, is that this bundle is available for just two days! After Tuesday night, October 24th, the sale ends and you’d have to buy all of these products individually.
  • I’d hate for you to miss out, so click HERE  to learn more or buy the bundle.

  • It’s even backed by a 100% happiness guarantee, so you can make sure it’s right for you.
    No one should have to feel overwhelmed by homemaking because it costs too much or they can’t get the help they need.

  • Becoming efficient as a homemaker is one thing. Fully embracing all the messy moments and hard times and loving it (most days) is another. But it’s not out of reach.

  • Learn more or get your bundle here (and by buying a bundle you help support the ministry of Missional Women. Thanks!)

  • (Psst… the bundle goes away at 11:59pm Eastern on Tuesday, October 24th, so don’t wait!)
Learn More
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​Here's What's Included

Creativity

  • A Mom’s Guide to Better Photos: A Beginning Photography Class for Moms With Any Type of Camera by Meg Calton ($99.00)
  • Adventures in Bible Journaling: An Extensive Beginner’s Guide to Art and Bible Journaling by Bethany Floyd ($18.97)
  • Bible Verse Coloring Through the Year by Carisa Hinson ($7.00)
  • Creative Sparks: 30 Daily Prompts for Creatives by Jennie Moraitis ($10.99)
  • DIY Art Journal – Your Jump Start to Creativity Volume 2 by Kimberlee Stokes ($12.00)
  • Mother’s Little Helper: Clean Up Your Photos with Photoshop Elements by Melissa Shanhun ($30.00)
  • The Garden Therapy Coloring Book by Stephanie Rose ($4.99)
  • The Spaghetti Shots: How to Take Better Photos of Your Kids During Everyday Life by Courtney Westlake ($6.99)

Faith

  • Curious Living Summit by Logan Wolfram ($29.99)
  • Delight in the Word of God, Volume 1 – Favorite Scriptures: A Devotional Coloring Book/Journal for Adults & Teens by JoDitt Williams ($8.99)
  • Discover God’s Calling for Your Life by Laura Krokos ($9.99)
  • Everlasting Joy Bundle by LaToya Edwards ($10.00)
  • Matters of the Heart: a 52-Week Scripture Memorization Journey for Women by Carlie Kercheval ($10.00)
  • Minding Your Mouth: A Biblical Study on Taming the Tongue  by Jenn Thorson ($7.99)
  • My One Thing Alone: Going Deeper with Jesus Together by Asheritah Ciuciu ($36.00)
  • Praying the Promises of the Cross: A 40-Day Prayer Journal by Arabah Joy ($12.00)
  • Putting God First: How to Make God the #1 Priority in Every Area of Your Life by Brittany Ann ($6.95)
  • Reset: 31 Days of Real Joy Right Now by Marie Osborne ($9.99)
  • The Dig for Kids: James by Patrick and Ruth Schwenk ($4.99)
  • The Glorious Ordinary: An Invitation to Study God’s Word in Your Everday by Sarah Frazer ($10.00)

Finances

  • 31 Days to Radically Reduce Your Expenses: Less Stress, More Savings by Kalyn Brooke ($7.39)
  • A Zero Budget Christmas: How to Make Christmas Memorable with Little Money by Kristen Glover ($8.99)
  • Financial Goals Workbook by Krystal Sadler ($10.00)
  • How to Be Frugal: A Guided 10 Unit Course That Will Teach You How to Be Frugal Online, In the Store, and In Your Home by Jennifer Roskamp ($99.00)
  • How to Coupon Effectively: How to Save $5,200 Per Year in Just 2 Hours Per Week by Lauren Greutman ($9.99)
  • Living Well & Spending Zero by Ruth Soukup ($12.99)
  • Real Life Money Plan: Designing a Money Plan to Fit Your Real Life by Jessi Fearon ($49.00)
  • Thrifty & Thriving: More Life for Less Money  by Victoria Huizinga ($5.99)

Home

  • Cozy Minimalist Decorating Class by Myquillyn Smith ($39.00)
  • Don’t Wait, Decorate!: An Encouraging Guide to Decorating by Chelsea Coulston ($24.00)
  • Yellow Prairie Academy Lesson 1: The Living Room – How to Create a Cozy, Pulled-Together Feel in Your Own Living Room. by Janna Allbritton ($25.00)

In the Kitchen

  • Feeding Toddlers: A Pediatrician’s Guide to Happy and Healthy Mealtimes  by Dr. Orlena Kerek ($9.99)
  • Table Talk: Family Dinner Conversation Starters by Sarah Avila ($3.99)
  • The Well Ordered Kitchen Basic Version  by Caroline Allen ($6.99)
  • What’s 4 Dinner Challenge Meal Planning eCourse by Erin Odom and Holly Dvorak ($47.00)

Intentional Living

  • 21 Days to a More Disciplined Life by Crystal Paine ($4.99)
  • 30 Days to a Simpler Life eCourse by Brian Gardner ($15.00)
  • A Peaceful Home by Crystal Brothers ($39.00)
  • Design Your Destiny [Goal Setting Workbook] by Kimberly Job ($9.99)
  • How to Achieve Your Goals and Create a Life You Love by Aby Garvey ($12.00)
  • I Love My Home: A Guide to the Balanced, Home-Centered Life You Dream by Verónica Serrano ($7.90)
  • Productivity and Well-Being eCourse by Lisa Grace Byrne ($47.00)
  • The Inspired to Action Planner by Kat Lee ($15.00)
  • Your Morning Manual: A Guide & Workbook for Resetting & Maximizing Your Mornings by Emily Bredeson ($15.00)

Marriage

  • 52 Date Cards by The Dating Divas ($6.97)
  • Boost Your Libido Course by Sheila Gregoire ($39.00)
  • Great Dates with Your Mate: Romantic Conversation Starters by Laurie Kehler ($5.99)
  • Making Big Life Changes Together: Pursuing Your Dreams as a Couple by Haley Stewart ($3.99)
  • Rekindling Romance eKit: 7 Ideas to Help Reignite the Spark by Jami Balmet ($11.95)

Motherhood

  • Beautiful Paradox: Musings, Marvelings and Strategies of a Special Needs Parent by Jessica Graham ($4.99)
  • Becoming a Deliberate Mom: A Reflective Parenting Workbook by Jennifer Bly ($15.00)
  • Boundaries and Margins Webinar by Saren Loosli ($15.00)
  • Engage: Simple Activity Plans to Engage Your Preschooler by Jamie Reimer ($12.00)
  • Everyday Hope: Real Encouragement for Worn & Weary Moms by Kayse Pratt ($7.99)
  • Love Rebel: Reclaiming Motherhood by Bonnie Way ($7.65)
  • Parenting Manual 101 by Becky Mansfield & Rachel Norman ($34.00)
  • Sorta Awesome: Homemaking Confessions! by Megan Tietz ($5.00)
  • Sorta Awesome: Mothering to the Max by Megan Tietz ($5.00)
  • Steady Days: A Journey Toward Intentional, Professional Motherhood by Jamie Martin ($11.95)
  • The Better Listening Workbook: Parenting Tips, Activities and Exercises to Turn Your Child Into an Amazing Listener by Lauren Tamm ($5.99)
  • The Mom Conference Complete Package: 20 Interviews by Experts by Desi Ward and Saren Loosli ($87.00)
  • The Mom Reality: What Parenting Books Never Tell You by Erin Myers ($4.99)
  • The Temper Toolkit: How to Take Control of Your Temper Before You Lose it! by Lisa-Jo Baker ($29.00)

Organizing & Systems

  • 14 Days to Opening Your Front Door to Guests by Dana White ($7.99)
  • 2017-2018 Yearly Personal Planner by Jolanthe Erb ($4.99)
  • Clean Mama’s Just One Page Kit by Becky Rapinchuk ($7.00)
  • Clutterfree with Kids: Change Your Thinking. Discover New Habits. Free Your Home. by Joshua Becker ($5.99)
  • Command Center 101: A Step-by-Step Guide to Creating a Command Center that WORKS for Your Family by Meredith LeRoy ($5.00)
  • Creating Success At Home: Your Guide to Redefining Home, Conquering Clutter, Taking Back Time, Boosting Your Energy and Overcoming Decorating Fears by Sharon Hines ($3.99)
  • Family Chore System & Planner by Mandi Ehman ($17.00)
  • Life Your Way Complete Printables Download Pack by Mandi Ehman ($7.00)
  • Minimize the Mess: A Mother’s Guide to Simplifying the Home by Rachel Kratz ($2.99)
  • Overwhelm to Order: The Ultimate Homemaking Binder by Rachel Norman ($9.99)
  • Revive 30-Day Challenge by Jessica Fisher ($27.00)
  • Speed Clean the Deep Clean: A Collection of Time-Saving Cleaning Tutorials and Tips for Busy Moms by Katelyn Fagan ($4.99)
  • Sweet Life Planner: Vanilla Edition by Laura Smith ($35.00)
  • The Mindset of Organization: Take Back Your Home One Phase at a Time by Lisa Woodruff ($8.99)
  • The Paperless Home: How to Use Evernote to Organize Your Life by Abby Lawson ($32.00)
  • The Ultimate Spring Cleaning Hack Guide by Amy Bellgardt ($9.99)
  • Your Intentional Holiday: Heart & Home Planner by Victoria Osborn ($10.00)

Recipes

  • 10 Amazing Cakes To Make At Home For Under $20 by Samantha Jockel ($5.95)
  • Beef Dump Recipes by Sharla Kostelyk ($9.00)
  • Busy Mom’s Make-Ahead Breakfast Cookbook by Carrie Willard ($3.99)
  • Delicious Dinners in Under an Hour by Mique Provost ($9.99)
  • High Protein, No Powder: Protein Bars and Smoothies Made with Real Food by Tiffany Terczak ($15.00)
  • Low Sugar Treats, the Real Food Way by Laura Coppinger ($6.95)
  • Meat Free Slow Cooker Freezer Meals by Kelly McNelis ($3.99)
  • Morning Makeover: 14-Day Smoothie Challenge by Kari Newsom ($3.75)
  • Never Buy Bread Again: 20+ Homemade Bread Recipes by Laurie Neverman ($9.99)
  • Skinny Slow Cooker Recipes by Martha McKinnon ($12.99)
  • Slow Cooker Favorites by Lynn Walls ($4.99)
  • The Breakfast Revolution by Beth Ricci ($8.95)

Self-Care

  • 30 Days, 30 Ways for Mothers to Take Care of Themselves by Angela Henderson ($19.95)
  • Finlee and Me Self-Care for Mothers Workbook by Angela Henderson ($29.95)
  • Adore Your Wardrobe 14-Day “From Frustrating to Functional” Closet Makeover  by Kelly Snyder ($69.00)
  • Breathe: A Faith-Based Journey Toward Margin by Amy Blevins ($49.00)
  • F5 by Beth Learn ($19.95)
  • Happy You, Happy Family: Find Your Recipe for Happiness in the Chaos of Parenting Life by Kelly Holmes ($14.99)
  • Kitchen Time Action Pack: Healthy Moving to Help You Build Strength, Increase Flexibility, and Improve Energy While You Work in the Kitchen by Jen Hoffman ($29.97)
  • Mama’s Best Self: Where Frazzled Mama’s Find Peace by Amanda Rueter ($75.00)
  • The SAHM Wardrobe Basics Builder by Alison Lumbatis ($29.00)
  • What’s Your Reading Personality? Class by Anne Bogel ($15.00)

Work + Life Balancee

  • Busy Moms Building: 12 Steps to Running Your Own Online Business for Busy Moms by Monica Froese ($29.00)
  • How to Land Your First Work-at-Home Job by Angie Nelson ($24.00)
  • Streamline Your Side-Hustle: A Comprehensive Guide to Balancing Your Blog with the Rest of Your Life by Erin Mellon ($15.00)
  • Stretched Too Thin: 10 Days to Overcoming the Hustle and Thriving as a Working Mom by Jessica Turner ($39.00)

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​About Laura

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Laura, the creator and host of Missional Women is married and has six kids, two of whom are adopted. Laura and her husband have been missionaries since 2002 serving with Master Plan Ministries. Laura is the Staff Women's Development Coordinator and has discipled over 150 women, led over 30 Bible studies and speaks many times a year. Laura is an author and creator of ministry tools and resources. You can find her books and resources at the Missional Women store and  connect with her on facebook,twitter, pinterest, youtube, instagram and her author site.




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Simple Tips for Living Out Four Spiritual Disciplines as a Busy Mom

5/28/2017

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Just as there are essential elements in order to build a house, the same is true in our ever growning relationship with God. Yet, many people go through life without a strong foundation or forgetting a roof spiritually so to speak and then look back to see little growth.

​If you want to have a deeply personally, thriving relationship with God, there are four elements, or disciples you'll need to incorporate into your life.


1. Connecting with God through Prayer
Prayer, spending time communicating with God can easily become the thing we turn to last in situations thinking, "Well, what else can I do but pray?" But there is an amazing thing about prayer that is so often overlooked.

It changes our hearts and minds.

Years ago I had some pretty major conflict with someone in the church I served at. This other person also served there and one Sunday morning the first words spoken to me after walking in the door were crushing and mean.

​Back up a couple hours. I had been so hurt by this person and a handful of other people that I didn't want to go to church and have to see them. But I clung to, "I go to serve, not to be served." and I laid down my right's of being treated well. 

So when those words struck my heart I couldn't take it, I walked out.

For the next two hours I went on a giant walk and prayed, "God, you tell them what you think of me!!" (Not in the a sweet gracious tone, but a, sick em God! tone). My heart was angry and bitter and I wanted them to get it from God. I wanted them to hurt like I was.

As I continued praying the Lord told me to pray for him. To really pray for him, to pray the hardest thing for me to pray. It took what seemed like an eternity to get to a place I was even willing to pray the best for him but with the Lord's help, I did. Not that I actually wanted the best for him, but I was willing to pray it. So I did. I prayed for God to bless his ministry someday. For me that was the hardest thing to pray because in my mind he didn't deserve to get to serve the Lord (as if anyone does! Silly Laura).

The craziest thing happened when I really prayed for him. My heart changed. My hate and bitterness and anger toward him began to dissolve. The following week, this guy who had never said sorry to anyone in his entire life came up to me and apologized and gave me a hug. Prayer helped me yield to the Lord and gave room for Him to do the impossible.

​Ideas for incorporating Prayer into your everyday busy life: (Please don't see this as a you have to do it all list. Ask God if there is one of these that you can incorporate into your everyday life.)

* Write out your prayers to keep you from being distracted.
​* ​Pray the Scripture you're memorizing.
​* Have "markers" that remind you to pray; people walking on the road, when you hear a ring or text.
* Seize the moment and pray right then when you're talking about prayer.
​* Hang up a cute little chalkboard with prayer requests on it in the dining room for meal times.
​* When someone says something that offends you or someone else, pray for them right then.
​* Pray when you hear and ambulance.
​


2. Connecting with God through Scripture
The more we are around someone the more we become like them and can recognize things they would say and do. When we read God's Word, our daily bread, it gives Him room to make us more like Him, loving what He loves and hating what He hates.

And a beautiful thing about God's Word is that growth is not the only benefit. (Each of the following comes from a specific verse in Scripture.)

God’s Word gives us freedom, strength, and purity, leads us to obedience, produces fruit, gives us health, guidance, confidence, comfort, revival, understanding, discernment, insight, and restoration. It makes us wise, enlightens our eyes, warns us, leads us to trust God, motivates us to worship, gives us an eternal perspective, reveals the origin, nature and purpose of man, it clarifies right and wrong, directs, encourages, reveals God’s heart and handiwork, shows us what pleases Him, makes us complete, provides spiritual nourishment, teaches us patience, courage, perseverance and joy, it gives us hope,  shows us how to forgive and be forgiven, how to find relief and how to love and be loved. It reveals God’s goodness and His justice, His standards and His mind, without it we are deceived, it provides us with all our needs in the spiritual realm, reveals what is to be learned, taught and obeyed, gives us adequacy and makes us equipped for doing good, convicts, and convinces and is the standard by which we will be judged.

Ways to Incorporate God's Word into your busy life:
​* Read a story Bible to your kids before bed.
* Listen to Bible while doing chores.
​* Get up early and use a quiet time journal or another resource to help you read through the Bible.
* Read out loud at the table.
​* Write it out.
​

Here's a couple helpful resources to cast vision of the importance of spending time with God and some practical tips on how. 
* How I Still Have a Quiet Time with 5 Kids.
​* How to have a quiet time video.



3. Connecting with God through Encouraging Believers 
It seems "fellowship" often translates into eating or hanging out together and sometimes completely void of anything having to do with God. So I like to use the word community since I think it is more accurate of a description of the Acts 2 church. But that's just semantics and I'm not going to make it a major issue when it's not.

Hebrews 3:13 and 10:24 are such clear explanations for us on what fellowship/community really is. It's encouraging, spurring, prodding, pushing each other to run after the Lord, use our gifts for building His kingdom rather than our own and speaking up to talk about Christ. It's speaking truth in grace. It's coming alongside each other and helping each other through temptation, exposing lies and it's calling out greatness in each other. It's serving alongside each other for God's glory.

When this kind of community exists, it's beautiful. There's authenticity and vulnerability. Iron is sharpening iron and the world can see that Jesus is Lord.

Ideas of how to Connect with other believers with a busy schedule:
​* text a friend a prayer request
* Text a friend a question to encourage them.
​* Join a Bible study (and get a babysitter)
​* Invite people over for a meal and make a point to pray for them and ask God to show you what to make sure to say to them.



4. Connecting with God through Sharing the Gospel. 
It's kind of weird to think that we grow by sharing the Gospel, but get this, "I pray that you will be active in sharing your faith that you might know every good thing you have in Christ." Philemon 6

When we step out of our comfort zone and trust the Lord to do what only He can do in changing hearts we get to see Him use our faith. The more we trust God, the more we trust God. When we step out and do scary things for God's glory He comes through and we get to be wow-ed by Him.

Evangelism is pretty much one of the scariest things we can do on a regular basis. And ironically it's one of the easiest disciplines to justify our way out of doing, "Share with actions and if necessary use words", "I don't know enough", "I don't want to push people further away", "I need to befriend someone first". All these are contrary to Scripture but can be so easy to hold on to.

Reality is, we can't really grow much in our relationship with God if we aren't willing to talk about the most important thing in our life with people. If we are disobedient in this thing, it spreads like gangrene to other parts of our heart and mind and poisons our faith and feeds our doubt.

Ideas of places to start spiritual conversations and share the Gospel in your everyday busy life:
​* Have a few questions ready. i.e. What has been your experience with Jesus? Have you ever wondered about eternity? Would you consider yourself a good person?
​* Invite non-believers over for a meal.
​* Start a conversation with other moms at kids sports/activities.
* Message someone on facebook rather than scroll your feed.
​* Make a Facebook Ad for the Jesus film or other evangelistic video and point it to other countries.
​* Invite people you meet (even at Wal-mart or a restaurant) to church and ask them what they thought and then use your questions to get to the Gospel.

​If you are not trained in sharing the Gospel, I highly recommend The Way of the Master as it will build your courage and confidence in stepping out in faith.
​

The Main Thing: Reliance on the Holy Spirit
We can do a lot of things that look great on the outside but "Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it." Psalm 127:1 We can do nothing of eternal significance, including manufacturing our own growth without remaining dependent and yielded to the Lord.

The way we depend on/rely on the Lord is really pretty simple. It take a giant formula or doing a bunch of things to earn the Holy Spirit living through us. It's also not a feeling or experience we have with the Holy Spirit, rather it's a choice. A simple heart act of confess and surrender, the same way you surrendered your life to Christ in the first place. A simple, "I know I need you, please do this through me" or "I can't do this without you, help Lord." I just love how blatant Paul is in describing the Spirit-filled life, "Oh foolish Galatians who has bewitched you? Having begun in the Spirit are you now being made perfect by the flesh?" Galatians 3:3 Here's a helpful diagram that talks more about the Spirit-filled life and can help you explain it to others.

When we allow the Holy Spirit to empower us and intentionally give time to these four essential growth elements the Lord brings about beautiful life transformation.


​Here's a diagram to help you be able to understand it more clearly as well as explain it to others.

About Laura

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Laura, the creator and host of Missional Women is married and has four kids, two of _whom are adopted. Laura and her husband have been missionaries to college students for 11 years serving with Master Plan Ministries. Laura is the Staff Women's Development Coordinator and has discipled over 150 girls, led over 30 Bible studies and speaks to college and women's groups. Laura has authored 5 books, including an award winning 12 week Bible Study on First Samuel, Beholding Him, Becoming Missional, Reach; How to Use Your Social Media Influence for the Glory of God, and A Devotional Journey through Judges, a devotional to accompany the free online Bible study at TheBookofJudges.com. You can find her on facebook,twitter, pinterest, youtube, instagram and her author site

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The Secret Miracle of Motherhood

5/18/2017

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At twenty-two, I struggled as a new parent. So selfish; my life looked like the Bermuda Triangle; tugging, pulling, and twisting me downward, in a million different directions. Something unseen seemed to hinder me from living in the freedom I should have had, as a new wife and mother.

At first, life with a family felt crushing and defeating, but soon I learned it was God’s gift turning me to the new life He was promising.

I returned my heart to Jesus in a pew with that new infant, sleeping in my arms. Grace covered me, and it was refreshing to step into a church where I could where jeans, and there was no finger pointing, asking me what I had done.

For the first time in my life, I was loved, seen, known, just exactly as I was.

Eventually, God showed me His heart for parenting; not the lowest purpose, but perhaps one of God’s greatest callings.

Today, missions, traveling, and writing bring much outside praise and affirmation. Still, there is something about those quiet moments of raising children that root us deeper in Him, ushering us through the process of Christ-likeness and sanctification.

And I wonder, more than the loud and seen ways we can serve Him so diligently, could it be these moments of honoring and respecting, nurturing and caring for those He has given us, be where Jesus is glorified most?

I mean, let’s face it, parenting is a call to those small, unseen, deeper purposes, requiring us to turn our focus from ourselves, giving our lives away, like He did, for the ones He’s placed beside us.

God hides treasures of blessings deep inside children.

Scripture teaches, they were born to praise. (Matt 21:15-16) They’re a heritage, a reward, and a blessing. (Psalms 12:3-5) In fact, their praise actually silences and stops the enemy. (Psalms 8:2) And if Jesus uses children as an example of what we must be like to enter the Kingdom (Matt 18:3), if He welcomed children with open arms and willingly, (Mark 10:13-16) shouldn’t we too?

Centuries later, our society still can reject, discard, and denounce the importance of children. Why is that?

At twenty-something, I didn’t realize how vital, influential, and crucial my role as a parent would be. Instead, I caved to the ideation that the grass is greener, the world’s priorities had some untapped measure that couldn’t be found while changing diapers, training my child, or making yet one more trip to the grocery store, with blurred eyes and sweat pants.

Twenty-four years since holding my son on that pew and surrendering, I am so thankful my church valued teaching children day and night about His purposes (Duet 6:7), the importance of early childhood (Prov 22:6), and raising kids with proper love (1 Cor 13), nurture (1 Peter 2), and discipline. (Eph 6:1-4).

In fact, today, my husband and I travel across the world, visiting kids without parents, and as foster parents we too often, sadly see the gap found in children without any able parent to guide them.

That Bermuda-triangle-type-deception has long since been disintegrated. Selfishness and self-centeredness can never replace His proven love, hope, heart and the value of what He told us…

If we welcome one of these little children in my name, we welcome Him. (Mark 9:37)

Let’s kneel down, get low, and look deep into the hearts of those treasures he’s put beside us. We just might be changing the world, through raising our children, and have failed to realize it yet, in the small of the most common day and quiet of our obedience to love like He loves us…His children.

About Jen

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​Though born, raised, and still living only miles from where she grew up, Jen's heart lies in the nations. Jen loves the beautiful tapestry found in the wide diversity of people, different cultures, and all nations.  Jen and her husband have been married twenty years, and have parented fifteen kids and counting; twelve foster, one adopted, and two bios.  Her multi-racial family reflects her passion for unity, desire for faith without walls, and missional mindset to share both the gospel and the power of redemption to a world desperately needing the hope found in Jesus Christ. Jen and her husband have led in a variety of ministries; including prayer, small groups, children's, and women’s.  Jen advocates for the orphan as a board member for the non-profit, A New Song; and loves doing missions work internationally, along with her family.  You can find Jen writing about faith, while challenging her readers at her blog, Rich Faith Rising, as well as at tweeting faith-filled messages @Jen_Avellaneda .  Jen is also on facebook.  

If you'd like to read more from this contributor, type her name in the search box on the top right.

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