I live next door to one of the pastors at my church, and I have learned so much from watching how he and his wife love on others Carolyn bakes cookies at Christmas time. Jorge mows the lawn for several people in the neighborhood.They open up the doors to their home and invite people in for a meal I often see them standing on a neighbor’s front door stoop having a chat.They live their lives on mission with such easy going transparency. Jesus lived a life of sacrificial friendship.He wasn’t in too much of a hurry to listen to someone’s story.He had eyes to see the hurting.He listened.He invited others in with genuine care. I want to live a life that welcomes others in and points them to the Truth that will set them free. More and more, I am realizing that this will require me to intentionally move toward the lonely and the lost. How about you? Do you want to join me on this purposeful mission to love others to Christ through friendship? Let’s begin by
About LyliLyli Dunbar loves teaching. For 17 years, she mentored teenagers in the Christian school setting, and now she has serves as Associate Director of Curriculum at Trinity International University Florida. Lyli married her Prince Charming in her 40’s and has a heart for encouraging young couples and singles in God’s waiting room. She enjoys road trips with her husband, connecting with women through Bible study, and reading way too many books. Lyli writes about life lessons and faith on her personal blog. You may also connect with her on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest. If you'd like to read more from this contributor, type her name in the search box on the top right.
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It was eight in the morning. I ran back and forth from the house to the minivan at least five times juggling bagels, juice, my Bible, and two kids under the age of five. I was also experiencing a lovely case of morning sickness because baby girl number three was doing her level best not to be outdone by her sisters. I shut the van door put my head on the steering wheel and begged God for lighter than normal traffic on I-4. Who was I kidding? It was Monday. What I was doing was crazy and risky. I had agreed to co-lead a three-year discipleship group for twelve other women. We were weary moms in need of a whole lot of Jesus and deep community. I said yes, but so had they. Come to think of it, this was crazy and risky for them too. What was God thinking when he planned this for us? Surely he knew how hard Mondays would be and how we would have to move heaven and earth to get there on time with our twenty-five kids. Did I mention it was three years worth of Mondays? But he did know what he was doing. Our hearts connected around a table in my favorite way—through God’s Word. We shared our stories. We dug deep in truth. We experienced every joy and the hardest tragedies. Fellowship had never been so sweet as it was in this clump of women. Do you know the game Clump? It is like hide and go seek, except one person is doing the hiding and everyone else is searching. When a seeker finds the one hiding she joins her. In the end, you are all together in one big clump. For years I hid weary and worn because I was convinced other moms were in their kitchens without dirty floors and raising perfectly behaved children. I claimed the title of fine because I thought I had to for others to like me. I was wrong. Sitting at this table clumping with these twelve other women showed me a different way was possible. I learned that the risky business of doing ministry as a weary mom to other weary moms needs to start with Jesus and include living honestly. Each one of these women brought her personal story. Somehow, every week another woman at the table always had a way of complimenting it. Time and again they pointed each other to Jesus. “And when two or three of you are together because of me, you can be sure that I’ll be there.” Matthew 18:20, The Message It is a beautiful picture of hope when weary moms gather because of Jesus. What we really need is a work only he can do in our lives. But, he made us to dwell in community. When this happens at the same time the result is a work of art created by the master’s hand. And it is truly something to behold. Meet our guest Author Stacey ThackerStacey Thacker is a wife and the mother of four vibrant girls. She is a writer and speaker who loves God’s Word. Her passion is to connect with women and encourage them in their walks with God. You can find her blogging at staceythacker.com and hanging out on Twitter or Instagram @staceythacker. Check out Stacey and Brooke's BRAND NEW Book!Hope for the Weary Mom: Let God Meet You In The Mess is available wherever books are sold. Be sure to keep your receipt so you can enter our amazing giveaways on launch day (2/3/15)! Find out more at staceythacker.com. In general, I tend to make things way too complicated. Maybe it’s all of those years studying Calculus and my subsequent overused logic? Maybe it’s just how my thinking naturally runs? Whatever it is, one thing which really suffers if made too complex, is community. Beyond the tumultuous years of high school, my most difficult time in experiencing real community came recently. After we moved overseas long-term and shortly after I had my third child, somehow, I became utterly lost in my basic need for healthy relationships with others. There were many things that contributed to this. Not the least of which was what language do I speak? I was learning Hungarian and if I didn’t make the effort to practice, I would never learn to speak it. This is true, but, it is not more important than community. Our greatest need is for relationship, communion, with God. After this, our next greatest need is for community with others. Here are three simple ways to cultivate true community. 1. Be Yourself – And, yes, this is simple. But, it is often the hardest way for us to be with others. If you are anything like me, you have deep-seeded insecurities. Places where lies were sewn into you long ago. For me, this is that I am ‘too much.’ That paralyzes me and I think when I am myself, it is more than others can handle, so I spend so much time with others trying to re-define myself. Be someone that they will love and want to know. This is both very sad and lands me very far from my greatest need, which is communion with God. If I am not embracing who he has created, formed, redeemed and called me to be, then I am living like I don’t belong to Him, and lead others to this too. 2. Encourage Others to Be Themselves – Here, is where it gets tricky. If you are more loud, like to crack jokes, and are very friendly (I *may* be like this ;), and there is someone in the group who is shy, quiet and reserved, then you need to learn to be yourself while encouraging them to be themselves. So, if you are making everyone laugh except the woman in the corner feeling left out, find a way to draw her in. And yelling ‘Hey, join us!’ is probably not the best move. It takes genuine love and patience to do this well and you must make a choice to put their needs above your own. You may need to tone down your vibrant personality to welcome them. And, if you are the one who is more shy or reserved, you have a choice too. Trust your new friend. Let her welcome you. Take a deep breath. You are loved. 3. Share Your Stories--This is the heart of community. Each person is a living story and yet our stories often become lost; forgotten. This causes us to forget and lose each other. This is why an active discipline of sharing story is essential to community. If it is a formal group setting, this can happen in a structured way, where one person shares a ten minute story each session. Or, when your group first forms, you, as a leader, share your story. And, if it is a simple conversation, you can ask questions as simple as ‘What’s your story?’ Take the time to listen. Know your own story, so you are ready to share encouragement at the right points. When you ask for another’s story, always be willing to share your own. As someone who loves and serves God, you are a leader who draws others into community. Keep it simple. Be Yourself. Be Humble. Trust God. Trust Others. Cultivate Community. About AbbyI am wife to a wonderful man, mama to three precious now-little-but-soon-will-not-be loves. Each born in a different place--two states including 2 states and 2 countries. I am a farm girl who found her heart in the city. I can now claim fluency in 3 languages :: English, Spanish & Hungarian.This combined with the all-too-true 'mommy brain' explains much regarding my mental state most days;) I am a sojourner longing for Home. Yet, in my messy and broken, I embrace the moments given with all I have. I am seeking, praying, and learning again and again that it is for His Glory I live. My prayer is that my little life would make much of Him! I write regularly at Abigail Alleman. If you'd like to read more from this contributor, type her name in the search box on the top right.
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