Summer time came and I went to put my shorts on. They didn't fit, I tried another, didn't fit. None of my shorts fit! I had grown out of all of my shorts. I couldn't believe it. I had never outgrown my entire wardrobe like that, so asked Austin, "Am I fat?" Ok, not a question you're suppose to ask. Austin says, "Laura, there are a lot of girls fatter than you." Gasp! "Fatter than me!? I AM fat..."
Believe it or not I laugh at the whole thing now because he really wasn't trying to be mean and didn't mean it that way. But seriously... how can someone say something like that and be oblivious!? Oh men.
10 years of marriage later we are driving down the road to Vail for Easter when he says, "I love you and I'm committed to love you" in a real sweet voice. We had a little argument not long before that so I say, "Why?" (Why oh why... did I not learn to not ask crazy questions!?) So he says, "Well, you're just hard to love sometimes but I'm committed to love you and will love you till I die." Sweet thing, kinda. But all I heard was "You're hard to love" and all I could think about was how I didn't want to be a duty to love but a delight. My Easter weekend was filled with sadness and a pity party.
But really comments like those bring me back to reality. The reality that the constant adoration I deeply desire of the man being desperately in love with the woman, smitten, is not in fact reality. I am broken and my husband is broken. And the reality is that God is smitten over me. He adores me. He watches me and thinks about me more times than the grains of sand on the seashore. The reality is that no man will ever be all we desire. No man will ever give us all the adoration, affirmation, approval and acceptance we crave. No man but Jesus, the One smitten over us. The One stunned by our beauty because He sees us through His blood. And really isn't marriage made to be a reminder of our relationship with Him, not a replacement of it.
Laura, the founder of Missional Women is married and has six kids, two of whom are adopted. Laura and her husband have been missionaries to college students for 14 years serving with Master Plan Ministries where she is the Women's Development Coordinator. Laura has authored 5 books, including an award winning 12 week Bible Study on First Samuel, Beholding Him, Becoming Missional, Reach; How to Use Your Social Media Influence for the Glory of God, A Devotional Journey through Judges, and Discover God's Calling for Your Life. Most recently her resource for Bible studies, The Connect Cards was released by Cru Press. You can find her on facebook, twitter, pinterest, youtube, instagram, periscope, blab and her author site.
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