For the longest time, I thought having a crush was stupid and ungodly. And in some aspects it is. Mainly my reaction and response to someone I liked was usually pure girly silliness, and sometimes even ungodly in my thought life. God changed me a lot during my early 20s (praise the LORD), and over time He convicted me of my bad behavior and showed me the positives to liking someone all together. So here are the 2 pitfalls and 2 positives to having a crush.
2 Pitfalls to Avoid:
Lust is not only a man’s problem! Drooling over a half-naked man is the same as a guy drooling over of a gal in a bikini. Imagining what it would be like to kiss and the like is really not an appropriate place for your mind to go. This was a huge problem for me growing up and through to college! But sense no one said it was wrong for women directly, and it wasn’t pornography, then I didn’t think it was a big deal. But once God brought it to light, how if Jesus was a woman He wouldn’t have had my thought life, I began to change how I thought about these guys I fantasied in my mind.
2. Consumption of Thoughts
Just like any idol, if this guy takes over your thoughts – all you can think about is your last interaction with them, you try to interpret signs and signals they may or may not be sending you, you daydream about being their girlfriend or wife, you try to imagine what your kids will look like - God is obviously not first like He should be! Being obsessed about anything, including an individual, is taking God’s place as overall Lord of your life. Not to mention that its not going to help your situation at all by letting these things dominate your thought life, am I right? Stewing over “what if” scenarios will only make you worry, and Jesus made it clear how we shouldn’t worry (Matthew 6:25-34).
But it’s not all bad either!!
1. Glory to God!
I realized something key right before God showed me how awesome Malcolm was before we started dating. It wasn’t a bad thing to be attracted to all sorts of guys! What was wrong was how I chose to react to those attractions. So instead of fantasizing about the guy, I would instead write out in my “ugly” journal the qualities and characteristics that God has placed in them. I had been able to do that with girls easily, but with guys I always felt awkward. Like I wasn’t allowed to notice great things about them without taking it a wrong way. But God showed me I was noticing HIS character and HIS handiwork by pointing it out! I didn’t have to obsess about it, but I could point out why I liked them in the first place. It would also lead me to pray for them, their walk with God, their future wife, etc. And I also noticed the quicker I was to take this person to the Lord, the quicker it would be for me to get over them! Well, until God opened my eyes to Malcolm…
2. Clarity in Desires
The more that I started seeing God’s qualities in the quality guys I liked, and more how the ones not following God were attractive in ways that appealed to my flesh, I realized more what I actually wanted and needed out of a husband. How he looked, if he could sing, etc. were not important. I had this huge list of things I wanted in a spouse, but really all I truly wanted was a man that loved God, wanted to live out the Great Commission, was bold and pointed me to Jesus. And soon after I realized that Malcolm, my now husband, actually had those qualities, and I would not have noticed him before because my mind was so wrapped up in this weird person that wasn’t who God wanted for me.
Essentially, what this all boils down to, is having feelings towards others isn’t bad but they need to be filtered through Christ. Take how you feel and think to Jesus, and allow the Holy Spirit to guide and lead you from there!
Leah works with Master Plan Ministries at Fort Lewis College in Durango, CO. Other than watching college students' lives change, she enjoys getting her mind blown by God and His Word, watching sci fi, baking cupcakes, and spending time with her hunky husband.
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