Usually my summers are fun and refreshing, but this summer has been a little different. Instead of relaxing, recharging and refocusing, this summer has been full of hard things. Loneliness, discouragement, doubt, and an overwhelming feeling of being far from God.
To be real honest with you guys, I’m not super excited about serving God right now. It’s one of those things where I know what’s true but I certainly don’t feel like it’s true.
This summer has been a battle between my head and my heart. My emotions say run away, hide in your bed, ignore God, don’t love others. My head says listen to God’s word.
For real y’all. I just don’t feel like following God’s Word.
Fortunately I have this little voice of reason in my head (who coincidentally sounds an awful lot like our wonderful host and my mentor of many years, Laura) that reminds me of the fact train.
“The fact train?” you might be thinking. Yep. It’s a slightly cheesy diagram that I learned early on in my walk with God and it looks a little like this:
See God’s Word? It’s the engine. The power source. It’s what drives the train.
And feeling and circumstances? They are the measly caboose. They don’t really add a whole lot to the trains power source. In fact, the train runs just fine if you don’t have a caboose at all.
The middle car? Faith? It’s the coal. Imagine if you were throwing coal into the caboose instead of the engine- it wouldn’t do anything except weigh the train down. But if you are actively adding coal to the fire of the engine your train is going to chug on!
When we actively put our faith (read confidence and hope) into God’s word we won’t be let down.
So yeah, I don’t so much feel like obeying God. I don’t particularly feel like sharing my faith or giving to missionaries. I really don’t want to get outside of my comfort zone. But I know God’s Word is true. I know that my heart is deceitful above all things (Jer 17:9).
So when I don’t really feel like being a part of the great commission I cling to God’s Word. Psalm 19 has been so encouraging to my stony heart:
What do you do when you don’t feel like listening to God? What verses are encouraging you right now?
Angi loves Jesus, coffee, baseball and baking cakes. She is a missionary to college students and can't think of anything she'd rather do to serve God. Angi first met the Lord while climbing Mt. Kilimanjaro in Tanzania, Africa but really understood His love and grace as a freshman in college. Her heart is to invest in college students in the same way that many others invested in her. You can find her blogging over at Stuff Angi Does where she tells stories about Jesus, college students, and life. You can also find her on facebook, twitter, pintrest and instagram.
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