Asher's Adoption Story
5 years ago today God said "Yes"
7 years ago Austin and I started praying without reserve for God to give us a little boy for 2 years. I have what they call unexplained infertility. God used that to teach me about taking my whole heart to Him instead of just sending up a quick, "I'd really like a little boy, but if that's not what You want..." The Lord was asking me to lay out my deepest desires before Him. Trusting Him with them. So I started telling God that I really wanted to start a family. I was praying He would give us a little boy who we would name Asher Steven.
Then in November a lot of “coincidental” things started happening. Our alarm was set to the radio to wake us up, so we found ourselves waking up every morning to a story of adoption. Therefore most mornings in November we woke up in tears because of the touching story. Also in November, Austin spoke at a men’s retreat while the same time I spoke at a women’s retreat. Though these were separate retreats, we each had a special divine appointment with someone close to adoption. Austin spent some time with a guy who had been adopted while I spent time with a grandma of two girls who placed their babies for adoption. Both of these people were extremely supportive of adoption. Austin and I had always wanted to adopt but we thought we would wait till we had a couple children biologically. Our hearts and minds were starting to think of the possibility of adopting now instead of later. The more we thought about it, the more excited we got. We decided to pick an agency and get information, then we would decide if we would go forward or work with doctors.
January 12th we went to the informational meeting with Bethany Christian Services. On January 13th we received a surprise email from a friend saying that she knew a lady who knew a girl who was pregnant and was considering placing the baby for adoption. She was wondering if we were interested. Of course we said YES! (Though we weren’t really expecting anything to happen) Two weeks later this friend of ours’ church had us come speak, which happened to be very close to were the birth mom lives! So we got to meet her and hear her story of why she wanted to place the baby for adoption. During this meeting she told us her husband was not really in agreement. So, driving home we were thinking that it would be neat but would’nt really happen. Two weeks later the birth dad called and said that he thought it would be the best thing to do for the baby, but couldn’t imagine having it go through without meeting us. So we drove out to have lunch with the both of them (who Austin and I both like) and had a great conversation.
The adoption was moving forward… we couldn’t believe it! During our conversation with them they had wondered about names, if we wanted their input on names. We already had names picked out so we were thinking through if we would be willing to change them. Then the birth mom says “if it is a girl, then I don’t care what you name her. But I had a brother who died when I was younger and if I ever had a boy I always wanted to name him Steven.” My mouth just dropped since I had been praying for little Asher Steven! (Asher is a Biblical name meaning Happy and Steven is my dad’s name).
After our meeting with them, we had the “hard” meeting with the adoption agency. They had to drill it into our heads that there is a 5-10% chance that she could change her mind up to two weeks after he was born. This was the hardest day of the whole process which taught me so much about God’s love. I felt the fear of laying my heart out there and my baby being ripped away. But then God showed me that is what God does for us. But instead of a 5-10% chance of laying your heart out there and not being loved back, there is a 99% chance in some countries. But He laid down His everything… willing to face the reality that He wouldn't be loved back.
5 years ago today at 3:52pm I got to see my little baby boy enter the world. I got to be the first one to hold him while Austin came in and cut the umbillical chord. God worked it out that we got to stay in the hospital one night and across the street the next night and was able to go in the nursery to feed him. I am so grateful for Asher's incredibly brave birth mom for letting me love and care for him those first days of his life. Austin and I have LOVED this journey and seen and understood God so much more through the process.