So in 2 Samuel 14:22-33 Joab got King David to say yes to bringing Absolom (David's son) back from banishment (for killing his brother). David gives him his own house (I imagine it was pretty "royal" and awesome. And wont let Absalom see him. (I wonder why?)) Absalom is hot (well, scripture says "there was not a man so highly praised for his handsome appearance") and seems like he has it all. He had a great house, beautiful kids, didnt have to do much of anything b/c his dad the King did it all for him... But all he could focus on was what he didnt have. (Dang, convicting!) (And interesting to note that not a lot of great things happen we dont have something to "do")
He acts on his desire (thats what we eventually do- when we keep thinking about it) and it grows. When he doesnt get what he wants he throws a tantrum and does whatever it takes to get it not caring who or what he hurts to get it. (He sets Joab's (the guy who was overly generous to get him his freedom) field of crops on fire and destroys it to get him to come talk to him.) Then when Joab comes to Absalom instead of apologizing for destroying his field he throws a verbal tantrum. He basically says 'I asked you to come see me and you and you didnt come! This life sucks and it would have been better if I was never here at all! You should have just left me in banishment. All I want is to see my Father and if I am guilty than he should kill me.'
Ok seriously! How manipulative can you get! And this is what happens to us when we let our self-pity and uncontentment run away with us. It seems that his self-pity and focusing on what he didnt have turned into bitterness and a demanding attitude. He ends up demanding a full pardon (and doesnt even see that he is guilty of murder!) or death without one ounce of repentance.
I just think "Uh, what a creep!" But then I have to remember when I focus on what I dont have rather than thanking God for what He has given me to steward, that creep could be me! UH! Whatever you feed grows.
Oh Lord, I dont want my heart to turn this ugly. But I know apart from You, this is what I could become. Please help me to live a life of praise to You, help me focus on You and being a good steward with what You have given me. Help me not give in to setting my gaze on what I dont have. Give me Your strength.