As I was surfing through Spotify, asking God what I should blog about this month, racking my brain for all those “great ideas” I come up with in the shower (Seriously, why is it I have all these great ideas for things in the shower?) when I saw an add for VS lingerie. And I was met with all these thoughts and feelings – like, “It’s porn passed off as advertising!” and “I like my underwear from there” and “I am so frustrated with what people think they can get away with.”
I also thought of all my lovely lingerie I got at my bridal shower. Not going to lie, I like it was so thankful that people got me some when I was getting married. People were encouraging sex in the right context – that’s a great thing! Shouldn’t we encourage young women to look forward the right sex? Part of my issues in sex now have to do with all the negative thoughts I’ve had about how bad it is… outside of marriage. But now being in marriage, it’s a form to honor the Lord. WHAT?! Talk about a mind change!
But what kind of gifts can we give that are morally right and yet sends a good message to this area of their future marriage that is important?
More out of the fact that I live in a small city with few shopping options (lingerie options are either Walmart or the adult store… neither one appealing to shop at), I have developed a great gift that I call “The First Night Bag.”
I LOVE this gift for so many reasons! First, because it’s so practical. Second, because it embarrasses the bride-to-be. I have so many great stories of ladies opening this gift – between them and the older ladies who think I probably should have given the couple pot holders or candles. Third, especially if they have been pure in their relationship past, this is a good and safe opportunity for them to learn good expectations about their first intimate night with their husband from someone they can trust – you!
It makes me think of Titus 2:3-5, “In the same way, older women are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not addicted to much wine. They are to teach what is good, so they may encourage the young women to love their husbands and to love their children, to be self-controlled, pure, homemakers, kind, and submissive to their husbands, so that God's message will not be slandered.”
Bride-to-be have been bombarded with all sorts of different images, assumptions, thoughts and opinions about sex, marriage and sex in marriage. As older women, we need to encourage these women in truth about sex, marriage and sex in marriage – to help give them realistic and hopeful views over the junk our culture (and sometimes even some junk that well-intending “Christian” culture) is trying to feed them.
Here is what I usually put in my bag:
· Condoms or VCF
· Flushable wipes
· Fun panties
· His/Her energy bars
· Pregnancy test
· Basal thermometer
· Massage oil
· Tea lights/candles
· Set of sheets
· Toothbrushes & toothpaste
· Prenatal vitamins
I found a shirt once that said, “Practice Makes Perfect” and gave it to a friend of mine at her bridal shower – I wish I could buy those in bulk and put one in each bag I ever give!
These are things you can really find anywhere, and I usually spend around $15 or so. I like to buy something practical household wise to put it in if I can afford it too. One time I bought a plastic pitcher, wrapped all my items in tissue paper and then stuffed the items in the pitcher. My very first one I put in a big plastic Easter egg, hid it at the house that the shower was being held, and had my friend go find it! (Okay, the egg was not a practical household item, but it was fun!) A great idea is to buy a travel bathroom bag to put all that in there so they can travel with it on their honeymoon.
You can totally get creative with this too! Like think of different verses to go with each item, write down the practical advice with each item, give date ideas – really this can only get more fun the more time you get with it! Overall, this has been a successful gift that is a good way to encourage a healthy sex life in marriage.
What have been some great bridal shower gifts that you have either received or seen given?
Dear Lord Jesus, We live in such a depraved world. Sometimes it feels like we have to dig to find the original good in what you have created. I pray for women entering into marriage to have a good, healthy excitement for this new part of life they get to enjoy and fight through with their husbands. I pray that they will have good expectations and ask their awkward questions to reliable women. Thank you for sex! In Your Name I pray…
Leah works with Master Plan Ministries at Fort Lewis College in Durango, CO. Other than watching college students' lives change, she enjoys getting her mind blown by God and His Word, watching sci fi, baking cupcakes, and spending time with her hunky husband.