Lord, I am always so shocked by your gentleness in correction. Your kindness truly does lead to repentance. I am amazed at how you are able to change hearts so tenderly and compassionately. Thank you for your gentleness, yet thank you for not overlooking things that offend you, for being willing to not let me stay the same.
I want to please you with every ounce of me, yet the draw for other things clouds my truest desire. Thank you for clearing the clouds, for helping me see. I just love how you communicate so clearly when we seek you. I love how in your face you are about truth, how You don't beat aroudn the bush. So in my face, yet so gentle, that me, chief of all defensive getters, doesnt feel defensive. How in the world do you do that?
Oh Lord, as I see how much You deserve and see how far I am from being able to give you what you deserve, I kneel. Knowing I have nothing to offer You but my life. Yet even that is something You made and gave. What can I give you that you didn't first give me. Nothing. But though I don't feel worthy, though I fall a thousand times, still Your mercy remains. Though You deserve perfection and I will never have that to offer You, I know You are pleased with the offering of my life. My desires and longings, my hopes and dreams submitted to You, the One who bought them with Your blood.
Oh Lord, make me like You. You, full of grace. Shockingly gentle grace. And full of truth. Life giving, freedom bringing, gentle truth. Line up my hearts desires with Yours. Where my desires and longings don't please you, please change them and replace them with ones that do. Help me cling to you moment by moment, knowing only You can satisfy, only You can change my heart. I am in Your hands, Your hands that wont give up. I'm not too complicated for You. You will complete the work you started in me many years ago and will present me to Yourself pure a blameless. I surrender to Your work Lord.
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My continued list of listing 1,000 gifts from God:
#504 The Lord's kindness
#505 and gentleness that leads me to repentance
#506 Getting to go home tomorrow
#507 Getting to have regular access to the internet again starting tomorrow.
#508 the hope of getting back to a normal schedule
#509 getting to see (and meet) some great people at the last church we spoke at in NJ