So, I think one of my most embarrassing moments was when I was on a walk on this great path along the river in Durango. Along the way there was this little cove of trees. I went behind them and was right on the edge of the water in this tiny cove with the trees behind me. I was at least 15 feet from the sidewalk. So, very aware that the people who happened to walk by on the sidewalk would not be able to hear me, I start singing to God. Singing is very personal to me. It is like my heart being worn on the outside. So, there I was singing my heart out and I had my hands raised standing by the river. Not worried because I knew no one on the sidewalk could hear me. Well, after about 3 songs I open my eyes and down river about 10 feet 2 rafts full of people had floated by!!! Right in front of me! Oh how embarrassing!! Seriously, they could not have been more than 8-10 feet from me. And they were completely silent! Probably totally freaked out. I mean what would you think if you saw some girl singing with her hands up on the side of the river with no one else around. So anyway, I was so angry at God. I was saying to Him. “Are you serious! Here I am bearing my heart to You, thinking it is an intimate moment just me and You and You expose me!!!”
Oh Lord, please help me not be afraid to trust You in and with embarrassment. Help me be ok with failure. Help me trust You more than I protect myself. I know that Your plans for me are not to harm me but to give me hope.