Austin and I heard about snowflake adoption (adopting an embryo that was made through other couples who have done in-vitro fertilization and choose to let other couple adopt the embryos they choose not to implant. There are over 400,000 babies in freezers waiting to be adopted and only 200 people have ever chosen this route of adoption.) Galatians 6:10 says, "as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people..." Austin and I hadnt used any sort of birth control for 5 years and have never gotten pregant. Doctors said I had unexplained infertility but I had a womb to carry a baby. God had given us "opportunity" to provide a womb for a baby to grow in... a home.
So, we started the process. After 3 Dr.'s appointments, things came into perspective. It was going to be twice as much money as we thought, the drive to the Dr. was really far from us, and I was going to have to give myself shots (I hate needles!!) everyday for 3 months! The list goes on and on of inconveniences. On my first drive home from the doctor, as I was crying and telling God I wasn't sure if I could do it. He reminded me that life was worth it... LIFE is worth the inconvenience. So, I determined not to bow to the idol of convenience.
After Dr. appointment #2, hearing about the 1 1/2" long needle I would have to give myself everyday, not having coffee, having to be on bed rest for 2 days and not being able to lift my boys for 2 weeks I thought, "God, for real, I really don't think I can do this." After Dr. appointment #3 some tests didn't work and some even more invasive procedures were going to have to be done, I started questioning the "calling" and hoping and praying for God to give me some sign that He really wanted us to do this. How crazy! I actually turned to a mystical experience or circumstance when it got hard rather than trusting that God's Word and believing it was right and was enough. I Love God's Word and that is why it weirds me out that my default when things got hard was to put my trust in mysticism and circumstances. Yuck! Why in the world does it seem like circumstances (which can totally be set up by Satan sometimes) and mystical experience or feelings would be more reliable that God's Word when things got hard? Austin said it is like when our faith is bumping up against our flesh that we tend to look for other life lines.
What an eye opener to even the word "calling". How really most of the time when we say that, we are meaning we had some experience or mystical feeling or circumstance and that means God wants us to do something. Instead of just reading His Word and realizing that He for real wants us to do something whether we "feel" like it or not. God has "called" us to do what's right, to share our faith, to take the gospel to those who haven't heard, to pray etc.
But God is so great... oh how His grace is sufficient! The next day He spoke verse after verse to me and opened my eyes to this and gave me strength to trust Him and His Word more than anything else.
Here's the verses He spoke to me regarding moving forward with this adoption.
"But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed" 1 Pet. 4:13
"Let us not become weary in doing good" Gal. 6:9
"Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God-this is true worship." Heb. 12:2
"I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us." Rom. 8:18
"Whatever you do for the least of these you do for me." Mt 25:40
"For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out... who will rescue me from this body of death? Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord." Rom. 7:18, 24, 25
"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly" (He took on physical infliction for the benefit of those who couldn't do anything about their condition. Through his suffering He freed us from what held us back from doing what were created to do-glorify Him.Carrying this baby would give it opportunity to experience life and give it opportunity to do what he or she was created to do-glorify God)
"My grace is sufficient for you..." 2 Cor. 12:9
All these verses made it clear to keep moving forward step by step although we wernt sure about the timing. We called the embryo (fertilized egg-a person with complete DNA) adoption agency we had got information from and told her we decided to move forward with adopting the 1/2 white, 1/2 pakistani babies she asked us to consider adopting. At first we were hesitant and told her we didn’t think we were ready to adopt a different race. After a couple weeks of praying and thinking about it, we called her back and asked if we could move forward with those embryos. She told us she had just placed them with another family that morning. The same time Austin was on the phone with her, our other adoption agency (who did our home study for the boys we adopted-see Asher’s Story and Uriah’s Story) called me and said they lost our finger prints and we had to start all over. Since we wernt sure of the right time, so we decided to move forward in trying to do the transfer in Feb. Because of these setbacks, February would be impossible.
It turned out that at the exact day of these phone calls, I was pregnant. But here I was pregnant. November 17th, Eden Noelle was born. I wondered why in the world did God make it clear to take steps forward in adopting embryos. Why did He bring so many verses to mind about laying down your body and enduring suffering? Preganancy for me was not fun or pleasant in any way. And the birth was no great either. After 18 hours of labor and the baby not dropping and not doing well, they gave me a c-section. That’s when they found the cord was around her body and around her neck 3 times.
Eden was born a healthy 7lb 12oz baby and is adored by her brothers. God sure is full of surprizes.